Housemates
by kt2785
Summary: Kate moves into a house with two handsome strangers. Sawyer and Jack have been best friends since they were kids. Will they let a girl come between them? Please R & R...obviously AU. COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: AU. Kate moves into a house with two strangers. Sawyer and Jack are best friends who live together and are waiting for their new housemate. I know it's kind of a crappy discription, but I hope you read and review anyway.**

Kate Austen never stayed in one place for a significant amount of time. She didn't really have any friends, and didn't want to ever get tied down. She never really knew why, but she just didn't like spending time in one particular place. She moved into a new small town. No one would know her, and she could start her life over. She was moving into a house with two other guys. Guys she had never met before.

She walked up the steps to the house pulling her suitcase on wheels behind her. She knocked on the door, and waited for someone to answer. After waiting outside for almost 3 minutes, finally someone came to the door. A pretty blonde woman answered the door wearing nothing but a sheet.

"Can I help you?" she asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Yeah," Kate answered. She looked at the outside of the house to make sure she had the right house number. "Are Sawyer or Jack at home?"

"Who's asking?" the rude blonde asked.

"I'm Kate," Kate replied putting her hand out for the blonde, to take but she didn't. "I'm moving in today? The new roommate?"

The blonde stepped out of the way of the door and let Kate into the house. It looked like the typical man's bachelor pad. There were pizza boxes, and empty Chinese food containers scattered all over the floor. She noticed beer cans and bottles everywhere too. Some were half full, and some empty. On one wall there was a picture of a skinny blonde girl in a bikini bathing suit. There was a large screen television which was turned on still from the night before Kate only guessed.

"It's kinda gross," the blonde complained.

"Excuse me," Kate began. "I don't mean to be rude, but are Sawyer or Jack here?"

"Who is it sugar?" a southern drawl came from down the hall. He came walking toward her wearing a pair of boxers and nothing else. His hair was long and tussled, but it still looked good. "Hmm…that brunette friend of yours decided to join us? Well honey, I know it's early in the morning-"

"I'm the new housemate," Kate interrupted with a scoff. "Who are you people?"

"Sawyer," he smirked stepping toward her and holding out his hand.

"Kate," she answered shaking it somewhat warily.

"Come on, I'll give yu the tour," he said somewhat nonchalantly and practically dragging her down the hall. "Bathroom."

Sawyer pointed to a door that was opened halfway. When Kate peeked her head around the door she saw that the bathroom was almost worse than the living room. She couldn't even see the floor. She saw more beer cans on the sink and wet towels and dirty clothes on the floor. She passed a bedroom which had about 30 books sitting on the desk. Some were opened, others were just read so many times that the covers were bent back. The floor was visible, and it was probably the cleanest room in the house. They passed a second bedroom which Kate could only guess was Sawyer's. There were clothes all over the floor, and the comforter was thrown on the floor too. Kate was lead into an empty room. It only had a bed, a night table and a dresser. There were a few boxes sitting on the floor, which Kate had sent a few days before she arrived. He lead her into the room and smirked at her.

"Sorry…I didn't have time to sprinkle rose petals for you."

"How about you didn't have time to do anything?" she asked. "This place looks like-"

"A couple guys own it?" he finished her thought. "Well sorry to disappoint you, but that's what we are. We don't clean up after ourselves. We don't have our mommies telling us to pick up after ourselves. And you're not our mother either, so I don't want-"

"I didn't say anything," she answered. "But if I'm going to be cooking in that kitchen, you bet your sorry ass that I'm gonna be doing some major cleaning."

"It won't stay that way," the annoying blonde chuckled. "These two are pigs. I mean at least Sawyer can admit it. Jack's just a dumbass."

"Come on Lore, he's not that bad."

"I'm Laura," Laura said holding her hand out for Kate to take. Kate shook her hand and nodded.

"Nice to meet you," Kate chuckled. "And nice sheet."

"500 thread count Egyptian cotton," she smirked. "I'm gonna go get dressed Sawyer. I guess you can get acquainted to your newest housemate."

Laura left the room quickly and Kate looked at Sawyer with a small smile. He was checking her out as she left the room. Kate let out a small scoff and went over to the bed. She lifted her suitcase up on to the bed and opened it up. Sawyer walked up behind her and looked over her shoulder. She looked back at him, and sighed deeply. He was standing way too close for her liking.

"Do you mind?" she asked.

"Whatcha got in there sweetheart?" he questioned softly.

"None of your business," she responded. "What do you want?"

"To get to know my new roomie," he answered. "You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of underwear they wear. Got some thongs in there?"

"Don't you have your girlfriend waiting for you in your bedroom?" she asked. "Why don't you go tend to her?"

"She's getting dressed," he informed her. "Plus…she's not exactly my girlfriend. She's more like a one night stand. She was feeling all depressed last night because her boyfriend left town. I picked up the pieces of her broken heart."

"That was nice of you," Kate chuckled. "Now is Jack here?"

"No," Sawyer chuckled. "Jack is hardly ever here. He's always either at work or class. Y'know med school. It's part of the reason his last girlfriend left. But you probably didn't know that. His girlfriend was living with us for almost a year. For the last month that she was living here I don't think she even saw Jack once. So she moved out."

"That's too bad," Kate answered sincerely. "Poor Jack."

"Poor Jack?" Sawyer scoffed. "How about poor Sarah? She's the one who was ignored for a month…Well not exactly ignored."

"So lemme guess," Kate began. "You were there to comfort her. You were there to make everything all better, and to make her forget all about Jack?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but she needed some comfort one night," he responded. "And we were hanging out...drinking…things got outta hand. It was just a mistake. One thing lead to another…neither of us meant for it to happen. It just happened. But you mind not telling Jack? I mean I know we just met and all, but I'd really rather not lose my best friend over this."

"Fine," she mumbled. "Why did you tell me anyway?"

"Well girls seem to throw themselves at Jack," he answered. "I mean not that I'm no slouch in the women department, but all the girls love Jack. They think he's the perfect man. He's smart, funny, and cute, and a doctor-"

"Do you have a little crush?" Kate chuckled.

"Shut up," he shook his head. "We're just best friends is all…besides the cute, funny, smart thing comes from all the women who say that. Sarah thought he was some sort of God. He saved her from getting hit by a car. Well let me be the first to tell you…he's not some saint. He's actually kind of a jerk."

"He's your best friend," Kate scoffed. "Why would you say that about him?"

"He's a great guy…when he's around," he replied. "But he's just not around too much. I just thought I'd warn you of that before you got too involved."

"Who's to say that I would get involved with him anyway?" she chuckled. "I mean…maybe cute, smart, and doctor doesn't appeal to me."

They both gave small flirtatious smiles, and Sawyer left the room. She was definitely attracted to him, but he was also definitely a jerk. She turned back to her suitcase and started unpacking her clothes and putting them away in the dresser. It took her hardly no time at all to be completely unpacked. There was only one small box left. She sat down on the bed and opened the box.

"Kate?" a voice said in front of her. She looked up and saw Laura standing in front of her.

"Hi," Kate smiled.

"Stay away from him," she said. "He is my boyfriend."

"I don't want anything to do with 'your boyfriend'," Kate scoffed. "I just met him today. Maybe you're the kinda girl who would have a one night stand with a man you just met, but that's not me. Plus he's my roommate. I'm not going to start anything with a guy that I'm sharing rent with."

"I just thought I'd let you know," she stated. "He's mine. Leave him alone."

"You mind leaving me alone?" Kate asked. "I didn't do anything wrong. All I did was talk to him. And I really hate to break this to you, but I'm going to be living here. We may even have an awkward moment where we run into each other in the hall when I've gotten out of the shower or something. Get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."

"Just so you know…he doesn't fall in love," Laura replied. "He has meaningless sex, so don't get too attached."

"Who says that I'm even going to have sex with him?" Kate scoffed. "Look…I don't know you…and you certainly don't know me. I am living here…Sawyer is going to be my housemate. I don't think that I'll be stealing him from you."

That night Sawyer was out in the living room cleaning all the trash up. Jack walked through the door and stood in the doorway watching Sawyer throw all the trash into a large black trash bag.

"Am I in the right place?" Jack chuckled. "Are you actually cleaning the house? Oh…gotcha…you have a woman coming over don't you?"

"Something like that," Sawyer smirked.

Jack walked down the hallway and heard music coming from the spare bedroom. He furrowed his eyebrows and opened the bedroom door. Kate was listening to music loudly and singing along with it. Jack chuckled softly. Kate noticed that the door had opened and turned toward Jack. She gasped and shook her head.

"Hi," she said, turning bright red and turning the music down.

"Who are you?" Jack asked furrowing his eyebrows.

"Kate," she stated.

"You a friend of Sawyer's?" he asked.

"I'm your new housemate," she answered this time she was confused. "Didn't you know that I was coming today?"

"No," he shook his head. "I didn't even know we were getting a new housemate. Did you set it up with Sawyer or something?"

"Well," she said. "Yeah…I did, but he said that he told you. I mean-I figured that he would let you know that you were going to have a new person living here. Look I'm really sorry…this must be really awkward for you. I'm Kate…I mean I know that me introducing myself isn't going to just-"

"Kate I'm kidding," Jack interrupted. "Sorry…I knew you were coming. Actually I thought you were going to be here earlier…Sawyer told me you were coming yesterday."

"Well I won't be in the way," she shook her head. "I mean, I hardly ever spend my time at home. I'm always out and about. I won't be in anyone's way."

"Kate," he chuckled. "This is your house too now remember. I mean you are going to be paying rent right? You won't be in anyone's way."

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Besides, I'm actually hardly ever here," he shrugged. "Still in med school. I mean I'm a doctor but I'm just doing my internship right now…and I'm still taking a few classes. It's a miracle that I'm home now…but I gotta go to my room and study the rest of the night. I know…real exciting."

"Well at least you don't have women answering the door wearing nothing but a sheet."

"One of Sawyer's conquests?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," she chuckled.

"Well," he sighed. "No chance of that…I don't really have time for women. I didn't even have time for my own girlfriend. She left about a month ago. We had this big empty room…it was Sawyer's idea to get a different housemate. I didn't really want one. I mean don't take this the wrong way because I'm sure you're a great girl…I just wasn't really ready to have a replacement for Sarah."

"I'm not replacing her," Kate shook her head. "I'm just living here. But if you want me to leave-"

"No. Kate I was just talking," Jack shook his head. "I'll see you around."

Jack left the room and went back down the hallway. Sawyer was sitting on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table. The only thing that was picked up was the pizza boxes. The room still looked like a tornado went through it.

"Looks like you're not even close to being done," Jack chuckled.

"I'm taking a break," Sawyer answered. "Beer?"

"Sure," he said taking a bottle of beer from Sawyer and sitting down next to him.

"She's hot isn't she?" Sawyer asked, looking over at Jack. Jack smiled, but stayed quiet.

**A/N: Please review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: ravensfan52-There will definitely be some flirting between Kate and Jack.  
****POUFI-Thanks for the review.  
****Skatenowandforever-There will also be some flirting going on between Kate and Sawyer. It's going to be both for a while…I'm still not sure how I want it to end up.  
****Superlanea-I'm planning on continuing as long as I keep getting wonderful reviews from you guys!**

Sawyer's room was directly next to Kate's. Jack's was directly across the hall. Kate and Sawyer's beds were each against the same wall. Kate regretted that fact on the very first night. She usually stayed up till around 12:00, but when she turned the lights off and crawled into bed she could hear Sawyer snoring through the wall. She figured either the walls were really thin, or Sawyer snored really loudly. Maybe a little bit of both. She decided that she would move her bed the next day.

She woke up the next morning and almost forgot where she was. She almost always slept in only a t-shirt and underwear. Last night was no exception. She got up and went into the hallway toward the bathroom. She heard the toilet flush when she got to the door and the door opened. Jack walked out of the bathroom in his boxers. Kate tried to hide herself with her arms and smiled at him.

"It's all yours," he said stepping out of the way.

"Thanks," she whispered. "Sorry."

"Don't be," he shrugged. "Believe me…there's much worse things to see first thing in the morning. Sawyer likes to sleep completely naked…I've seen way more of him than I ever care to explain."

Kate chuckled and nodded.

"You sure that the two of you don't have some kind of-" Kate began.

"Don't start," Jack smirked. "We've been getting it pretty much our whole lives. Especially in college. People always asked if we ever experimented…we were roommates…that's all."

"Well roommates could be a great code name," she answered. "I mean…'this is my roommate Sawyer' is probably a little more accepted than 'this is my boyfriend Sawyer'."

"We've been best friends since junior high," he responded. "We beat the hell out of each other, and then my mom, and his grandma made us apologize…we've been best friends ever since."

"That's cute," Kate smiled mischievously.

"I'm gonna go get dressed, and get to the hospital," he shook his head. "I'll see you later."

"OK," she answered. She stepped into the bathroom and watched Jack walk back to his bedroom. He turned around before he shut his bedroom door and gave Kate a soft smile.

Kate got a job at a daycare center. She had always loved kids, but she knew that she would never have any of her own. She had a lot of baggage. Baggage that she didn't want anyone in her new town to know about. She left her house when she was 17, and she didn't look back. She had gotten married when she was 23 to her boyfriend. She was completely in love with him, but then he cheated on her so she left him. Their marriage didn't even last a year. After she had been divorced from him for only 5 months, she bumped into him at the grocery store. He was there with the girl that he cheated on her with. She was pregnant and had a diamond ring, which told Kate that they were married. Kate left quickly before either of them noticed her there. But Kate didn't want Jack or Sawyer to know any of this. She got to start her life completely over.

When she got back from work she knew that Jack wouldn't be home, even though she really wanted to see him. She went through the front door and found Sawyer sitting on the couch with a box of pizza sitting next to him and a beer in his hand.

"Well hey there Freckles," he smirked. "What's going on? How was your first day as substitute mommy?"

"Good," she nodded. "There was one kid who even wanted to stay when his mom came to pick him up. I feel so bad for some of those kids. They're there 5 days a week from 9:00 in the morning to 6:00 at night. You're right when you say 'substitute mommy'…it's almost as if I'll be raising these kids."

"Well it's a good thing someone wants to," he replied. He moved the box of pizza from the couch to the coffee table so Kate would have a place to sit down. She sat and looked at the pizza. It was covered in meat…pepperoni and sausage. Kate was never a big fan of a lot of meat, but for some unknown reason the pizza looked particularly delicious.

"Mind if I-" she began.

"Go for it," he nodded. "You want a bottle of beer too?"

"Why not?" she chuckled. "I've had a hard day…I'd love to wind down with a beer or two."

"Well you're my kind of girl," he smirked, and handed her a beer. "Laura and Sarah won't drink anything except for those fruity girly drinks."

"They're way too sugary for me," Kate made a face and shook her head. "But I'm more for the hard liquor rather than beer."

"Really?" he asked. "I got a bottle of vodka if you'd rather."

"Nah," she shook her head. "Not really looking to get drunk."

An hour and a half later Kate and Sawyer both finished the 12 pack of beer in the fridge, and Sawyer had broken out the bottle of vodka. Kate was extra giggly, but she still continued to drink. Sawyer was watching some gangster movie that Kate found very boring, but the more she drank, the more she liked it. She even suggested the drinking game that got them both drunk…every time a person was shot, whether they died or not, they drank.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" she slurred and looked at Sawyer.

"I think you're drunk," he chuckled.

"I think you're drunk," she replied with a large smile. "But you're still hot."

"You're definitely hot Kate," Sawyer nodded. "I mean just look at yourself."

"Sawyer," she began. He smirked and leaned toward her. "I don't feel good."

She leaned forward and Sawyer quickly got the trashcan from under the coffee table. She puked into the trashcan and Sawyer put his hand on her back. She was definitely way more drunk than he was, but when she started throwing up, he sobered up completely. She stopped throwing up and looked up at him.

"Will?" she sobbed.

"Will what?" he asked furrowing his eyebrows.

"I dunno," she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," he answered. "Come on lightweight, let's get you to your bed."

"You snore," she whined, almost acting as if she was going to start crying. "I wanted to move my bed."

"Well," he smiled. "I think tonight you won't really care. Let's go."

She leaned against him as he helped her back to her bedroom. She laid down and he tucked her under the covers.

"I put a bucket next to your bed just in case," he told her.

"He told me he loved me," she sobbed. "But how could he do that to me? I just want to talk to him. Will you call him? Can I talk to him?"

"Who?" Sawyer asked shaking his head.

"Will," she answered. "My husband."

"You're married?" he questioned in complete shock.

"Not anymore," she sobbed. "He liked Angelica better. He had sex with her more than me…I just wasn't enough."

"I seriously doubt that Freckles," Sawyer shook his head. "That guy is a dumbass. You don't want to talk to him…not if he could cheat on you."

"He did?" she answered, beginning to cry again. "When did he cheat on me? Oh yeah…on our 8 month anniversary. I came home and he was in bed with her."

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. He sat down on the bed next to her and she sat up. She leaned toward him again and when their lips were inches apart Sawyer backed away.

"You don't like me do you?" she asked.

"Kate," he said softly. He ran his hand over her forehead and pushed her hair behind her ear. "Yeah…I do like you. I think your gorgeous, but right now you're drunk. You don't want to kiss me…you're just drunk, and in the morning you'll regret it…well actually you probably won't remember it-"

"So I'm not good enough for you to take advantage of?" she asked. "I want to have guiltless, drunken sex."

"No you don't," he shook his head. She leaned toward him and put her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her back and hair and he almost thought she had fallen asleep when she looked up at him.

"I need the bucket," she mumbled. He quickly bent down and picked up the bucket. He held her hair back and she held the bucket as she puked again. When she seemed to be done, Sawyer put the bucket back on the floor. She was looking down and she started crying again.

"You're an emotional drunk," he noted quietly. "Good to know that."

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" he asked softly.

"I'm a horrible housemate," she shook her head and turned herself to the wall. She was sobbing again and Sawyer almost chuckled to himself.

"Hey," he whispered. "We've all done it…it ain't a big deal."

She rolled to her back and closed her eyes.

"But hon," he started. "I need you to roll on your side ok?"

"No," she whined. "I'm uncomfortable. I can't-"

"Yes you can," he said firmly. He got off the bed and helped her roll to her side.

"I hate my nylons," she sobbed, and started trying to pull them off, but not succeeding.

"Do you want help?" he asked softly. "It's nothing personal…I won't, if you don't want me to."

"No!" she answered and started pulling at them again. This time Sawyer couldn't help himself. Kate looked too pathetic trying to undress herself, so he helped her. He gently took her pantyhose off and put them on the end of the bed. She started wriggling in her skirt, so he helped her out of that too. He went to her dresser to find a pair of pajama pants, and a shirt for her to wear. He helped her stand up so he could put her shirt on, but she wasn't helping much. She was draped over his shoulder as he helped her take her blouse off and put a more comfortable shirt on. When he was done she flung herself on the bed and fell back too hard and hit her head. She brought her hand to the back of her head and whined loudly, like a child.

"You ok?" he asked.

"No," she whined and wiped her cheeks off.

"Well sit up," he said, by this time he was still trying to be compassionate, but at the same time he was a little aggravated with her behavior.

"No," she shook her head.

"Do you want me to help you put on your comfy pants, or not?"

"No," she mumbled.

"Ok," he sighed. "Fine. Here they are if you want to put them on."

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"I ain't mad," he said.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry Sawyer. I'm sorry."

"Ok," he nodded. "It's ok Kate. I promise you…I'm not mad."

"Ok," she whispered.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Ok," he replied. "I'm right next door if you need me ok?"

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Thank you…I'm sorry."

He nodded again and went into the living room to clean up the puke in the trashcan in the living room. He brought the trashcan into the kitchen and started cleaning it. He was grossed out, but at the same time, he just kept thinking about the rest of the night. Getting to know Kate was fun. Jack walked into the house as Sawyer was just finishing up.

"Hey," he said. "What's up?"

"Nothin'," Sawyer shook his head. "Kate had a little too much to drink."

"Did you try to get her to out drink you Sawyer?" Jack asked with a chuckle.

"Not exactly," he replied. "But the girl can definitely drink."

"Is she alright?" Jack asked.

"I guess," he shrugged. "She's sleeping on her side, but she's not going to feel all that great tomorrow…maybe we should call the daycare and tell them she won't be in…I'm gonna go check on her real quick."

"I gotta get to bed," Jack sighed. "I have to get up at 3:00am, to be on call…it's hell week."

"Man I'm glad I dropped out when I did," Sawyer shook his head.

"Sawyer you took one biology class," Jack argued.

"Exactly," Sawyer answered. "One class was enough."

"Well the University of MTV and pizza and beer is a great way to live your life, you slacker," Jack smirked.

"At least I have a life," Sawyer answered. "Y'know…I can keep a woman in the house."

Jack loved to make fun of Sawyer for spending his days watching TV and not being very productive with his life. And in turn Sawyer made fun of Jack for spending all his time in class and at work. It was most of the time all in good fun, but sometimes they would each actually take what each other had to say into consideration. Jack knew that his life was only about the hospital, which sometimes depressed him. And Sawyer hadn't helped Jack with the rent in over 3 months. He didn't exactly love to go job searching. He started looking at the community college to take some auto mechanic classes. Cars had always fascinated him, and Jack thought that if Sawyer opened up his own repair shop, it would be the perfect job for him.

"Anyway," Jack scoffed, but wasn't mad. "Goodnight James."

"Goodnight Jackson," Sawyer answered. They also both liked to taunt each other with using their real names. Jack went into his own bedroom and Sawyer went to Kate's door. He opened it just enough to peek inside. Kate was sleeping soundly on her side, with the trashcan in her arms. He closed the door again and went into his own room.

Sawyer was laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling. He thought about the guy she was talking about. Her ex-husband. Anyone who would be stupid enough to cheat on her doesn't deserve her. But then he also didn't really know much about her, maybe she was never around. Maybe she treated him like crap. Sawyer hoped that Kate wouldn't remember it the next morning. He didn't want her to feel worse than she already would.

He heard his door creak open. He propped himself up on his elbows and saw Kate standing in the doorway. She walked toward him and climbed into the bed next to him.

"Well hey there Freckles," he whispered. "What's going on?"

"I couldn't sleep," she slurred, obviously still drunk. She cuddled against him, and then started dozing off. Sawyer couldn't help but like the feeling of her curled up in his arms, but he didn't know how she would react when she woke up in his bed.

"Ok," he sighed. "Come on drunky…let's get you to your own bed."

"I puked," she mumbled.

"In your bed?" he asked.

"Yeah," she sobbed.

"Ok," he whispered. "Lay back down."

He helped her lay down and forced her to flip to her side. He went into her bedroom to see what she meant. She obviously completely missed the trashcan. He left the bedroom and went down the hall to the living room. He cleared off the couch and laid down. If it had been any other girl Sawyer would have gladly slept next to her since it was _his_ bed. Either that or he would have forced her to sleep on the couch, but this time it was different. Kate was definitely different.

**A/N: Ok…so that chapter turned more Skatey than I planned, but don't worry…the next chapter will be Jatey. I hope you all still enjoy it. Please try and review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: ****Melina****-Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you liked the chapter. It's going to be both Skate and Jate for a while. I want to try and write a little more Jate scenes because I'm usually not very good at writing Jate, so I want to challenge myself. But don't worry it's still going to have plenty of Skate too.  
****Sophie****-I'm glad you liked it. Yeah…it will be both Jatey and Skatey for a while. I want to try to be fair to all the readers.  
****JateSkateFate815****-I'm really going to try to do some cute Jate fluff. It's really hard for me haha, so I hope that it's good.  
****Pinkpolkadots06****- Yeah I want Jack and Sawyer to be friends on the show…I mean they are friends even though neither of them would ever admit it, but I want there to be an actual friendship between them. There will be some Jate in this chapter.  
Raque-I've gotten a lot of request for more Jate, so this chapter does have some Jate in it.****  
****Also sorry to all the Jaters, I couldn't help but put some Skate too. I hope you don't mind. There's a cute Jate scene, but there's also a nice little Skate scene.**

Kate woke up in Sawyer's bed and looked around the room. She didn't remember anything of the previous night and gasped loudly. She got out of the bed and noticed that she was still dressed, but only in a t-shirt and underwear. She tripped over a pile of Sawyer's clothes as she made her way out of the room. She had a horrible headache, but she smelled breakfast cooking and realized that she was starving. She went into the kitchen and saw Sawyer making breakfast.

"Um-" she started.

"Oh," he said turning toward her. "You're up."

"Did we-" she began. She opened her mouth and looked almost scared.

"Yeah," he nodded. "All night…you're a real tomcat. I could barely keep up with you sweetheart. You were definitely hot-"

"I have to go die now," she said turning around and walking back down the hall.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed and chased after her. "I was kidding. Nothing happened. You had a tad too much to drink. You puked in your bed so you crawled into mine…I slept on the couch…see?"

He pointed to the couch and Kate saw a pillow and blanket tossed on the couch. She took a deep breath of relief and looked back at Sawyer.

"Why would you do that to me?" she scoffed.

"Because I wanted to see the look on your face," he smirked.

"I didn't say anything embarrassing did I?" she asked.

"Depends," he shrugged. "You told me about Will."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head.

"You really need to stop saying that," Sawyer chuckled. "You said it about 10 times last night. I get it…you're sorry. Although, I'm still trying to figure out what you're sorry about. I mean-that Will guy Kate. He's a jerk. He doesn't deserve you."

"Well that's why I left," she answered. "I'm going to go get dressed."

"Kate," Sawyer began. "It's going to be ok."

"I know," she nodded. "Thanks. It's been a year…I'm over it."

"I don't think you are," he said.

"You don't know me Sawyer," she argued. "Don't pretend like spending a few hours with me means that we all the sudden are best friends."

"Whether you want to believe it or not Kate," he began. "Cleaning up someone else's puke kinda brings a togetherness. I may not know everything about you Freckles, but…last night we definitely had a certain connectedness. And I don't have friends who are girls…I just don't."

"Sawyer," she sighed. "I'm sorry…I didn't-I've just gone through a lot over the last year. I don't want to fall back into old habits. Drinking and sex is all my life was once my marriage was over…I'm not exactly proud of it."

"You going to work today?" he asked.

"I have to," she shrugged. "You going to apply at the university?"

"Might as well," he mumbled. "I don't have anything better to do."

Kate went into work, but was feeling like crap the whole day. She tried her best to not let her boss know that she was hung over. When she got home she noticed that Jack's car was there, but Sawyer's wasn't. she went up the stairs and into the house. Jack was sitting on the couch with a book on his lap. He was sound asleep. Kate chuckled softly and went into the kitchen. Since it had only been 2 days since she moved in, the kitchen was still disgusting. She cleaned up slightly and then started making dinner. She decided to make enough for Jack and Sawyer too.

She was done cooking and started scooping food onto her plate. She heard and saw Jack coming toward her. He stretched his arms over his head and yawned.

"Did you have a good nap?" she chuckled.

"Hey," he said starting to protest. "I woke up this morning at 3:00 in the morning. I saw you sneaking into Sawyer's room. You don't have to be embarrassed Kate. You don't have to hide it-"

"You thought," she began and shook her head. "Jack believe me…I was just drunk…and according to him nothing happened. I mean honestly I don't remember what happened, but he said nothing happened, and I believe him."

"You got pretty drunk I guess," he shrugged. "I mean that's what Sawyer said anyway-"

"So you want some dinner," Kate interrupted, changing the subject.

"Sure," he smiled. "Thanks."

The two of them ate dinner in almost complete silence. Kate kept catching Jack looking at her, which oddly enough didn't bother her in the least. She still didn't feel ready for Jack to know all about her past. She only told Sawyer about her having drunken sex after her marriage broke up because she felt like he deserved to know, considering what happened the previous night. She would eventually tell Jack, but for now, she wanted him to have a good view of her.

Later on that night Kate was watching TV and Jack went to his own room to study for an exam he had the next night. She had put the food for Sawyer in the fridge, but wasn't even sure if he'd even be home that night. He did after all seem to have a life. He'd probably be seducing some poor girl. She turned the TV off and walked down the hall. She walked past Jack's room and heard him mumbling. She smirked to herself and knocked on the door softly. The door opened, but Jack didn't seem to look at her. Instead he was looking down at the book, continuing to mumble to himself.

"Hey," Kate said. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," he nodded. "Just-a lot of crap to remember. I can't wait till this is all over. A couple more months and I'll be certified…and then this will all be done."

"No," Kate shook her head. "Your classes will be done, but then you'll be stressed out over your own patients. Trying to save them-sorry…none of my business."

"But you're right," he sighed.

"Why don't you take a break?" she asked. "We can go get ice cream or something."

"Kate I would really love to," Jack answered. "I mean I really really would, but I gotta finish this diagram of the brain. I'm sorry."

"It's ok," she responded. "I was just-I wanted to go get some desert...it's the best part of the meal."

"Well Sawyer should be home later tonight," he replied. "He sometimes stays out all night, but usually he's back around 10 or 11."

"Does he stay out all day every day?" Kate asked slightly concerned.

"Yeah," Jack shrugged. "Well he usually goes out around 5 or 6, and then he stays out till 10, 11, maybe even 12. He's a big boy Kate. He'll be fine."

"I'm not worried," she chuckled. "I just-I was just wondering."

"You like him don't you," he smirked.

"No," she scoffed. "I mean-"

"He tends to have that affect on women," Jack smiled. "It's ok if you have a kind of-I dunno attraction to him. He's got these-I dunno what he does, but he somehow gets any woman to fall in love with him almost instantly."

"I'm not in love with him," she chuckled. "He just-he took care of me last night. He let me take his bed while he slept on the couch...and he washed my sheets, after I puked in them. He told me that cleaning someone elses puke brings a certain togetherness...I guess I sorta believe him."

"You want him don't you," Jack smiled wider. "You like him...you really really like him."

"No," she shook her head and smirked. "But I do think that you should take a small break for desert. I mean…I think I saw some ice cream in your freezer…we can make our own ice cream sundaes."

"Alright," he sighed and smiled. "You talked me into it."

They walked together into the kitchen and Kate started scooping the ice cream. She took the Redi-Whip can out of the fridge and started squirting the whipped cream on top. She looked at Jack with a smile and pretended like she was going to spray him.

"Don't even think about it," he shook his head. Kate sprayed the can jokingly, but not close enough to him to actually get him. He picked up the chocolate sauce almost threateningly.

"No," she squealed and chuckled. He chased her into the dining room with the bottle of chocolate sauce. She squealed again and sprayed the whipped cream at him. He went after her with the chocolate sauce. They chased each other around the kitchen, and then Kate slipped in her socks and fell to the floor. She hit her head on the cupboard behind her back. She didn't hit it that hard, but the bruise from the previous night was still tender.

"Ow!" she exclaimed and put her hand on the back of her head.

"Oh come on you didn't hit it that hard," Jack chuckled and sat down next to her.

"My head is killing me," she whispered.

"Oh yeah," he nodded. "Sawyer told me about your drinking last night. You're still hung over?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not hung over…there's a bump on my head."

She rubbed her head softly and Jack put his hand on top of hers. She bent forward without being told to and felt him move her hair out of the way. He examined the bump and then she sat back up.

"Am I going to live?" she asked with a smirk.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I'd say that's a distinct possibility…I however won't survive this med exam tomorrow if I don't start studying. Sorry to cut this short…it was fun. I haven't really had any fun since Sarah left a month ago…who am I kidding…Sarah and I stopped having fun months before she left…it's why she left. It's why I'm alone."

"You're not alone," she shook her head and whispered.

"That your way of saying 'I'm here for you Jack'?" he asked.

"Sawyer's here for you too," she answered. "I mean he's your best friend…I'm sure you could talk to him if you needed someone to talk to."

"Yeah, and then everyone could accuse us of being secret lovers," Jack smirked.

"I wouldn't think any less of you," Kate smiled back.

"Maybe not," he shook his head. "But I doubt that you would have just had a flirty whipped cream and chocolate sauce fight."

"Sure I would have," she answered. "Only I would have been even more aggressive because I would have known you weren't just trying to cop a feel. Maybe I would have even done it in my underwear."

"Hmm," he shrugged. "Well, now that you say that…Sawyer's-"

"Shut up," she chuckled.

"Goodnight Kate," he whispered. "Thanks for the dinner and desert."

"Wait," she whispered. "Don't leave yet."

"Do you want me to hold some ice on that for you?" he asked standing up. He silently went to the freezer and put a handful of ice into a small towel. He put it gently on the back of her head and she smiled up at him.

"Thanks."

"I think you'll be alright," he told her. "It doesn't look that bad. But if you get dizzy or feel like you might faint...then let me know. You might have a concussion."

"I hope you're better with your patients," Kate chuckled. "'You might have a concussion'? You better be more sure than that."

"You should be alright," he chuckled.

He kissed her softly on the cheek and Kate smiled and blushed. He left her sitting on the floor and she stood up. She looked around the tiny kitchen and sighed deeply. There was chocolate sauce and whipped cream all over the cupboards and floor. She was a little disappointed that Jack didn't stay to help her clean it all up.

She was on her hands and knees making sure that she got all the drops of chocolate. She heard the front door open and quickly got up. Sawyer walked into the house quickly and tossed his coat across the room. She heard his bedroom door slam shut and almost felt like she should follow him to find out if he was ok. She continued to clean up the mess that she and Jack made, and then went over to the couch. She sat down and sighed to herself. Sawyer came out of his bedroom and looked at Kate sitting on the couch. She brought her hand up to the back of her head and let out a sigh.

"God," she whispered.

"Head hurt?" he asked sitting down next to her.

"Jeez," she gasped loudly not expecting to hear him speak.

"Sorry," he murmured. "You ok?"

"Other than the fact that my head is killing me," she responded. "I have this huge bump."

"From last night," he told her. "Like I said…you're a tomcat in bed Freckles. You hit your head on my headboard, but didn't seem to mind much"

"What really happened?" she asked.

"You weren't exactly cooperative when I was trying to help you get dressed," he sighed. "You fell back on the bed and hit your head on the wall."

"I didn't do anything else embarrassing did I...I mean you told me that I was talking about Will, but did I say or do anything else embarrassing?" she asked. "Like strip off all my clothes-"

"Unfortunately no," he shook his head. "But you weren't comfortable in your clothes, so I helped you into your pajamas. And if I may say...you have a slammin' body Freckles. I'd love to-"

"Don't even think about finishing that thought," she told him. "So you saw me in my bra?"

"Ain't like it's nothin' I've seen before Freckles," he smiled. "But I wasn't really focusing too much on what you looked like…I was trying to make sure that you didn't pass out on me, or puke on me."

"I'm never drinking again," she mumbled and put her head down on her hands.

"We've all said that before," he chuckled. "And next weekend you'll be asking me to do body shots."

"Are you ok by the way?" she asked. "I should have asked you a hell of a lot sooner."

"Fine," he shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Sawyer, you came storming in here and threw your coat against the wall. And then you slammed your bedroom door…something must be bothering y-"

"I'm fine!" he exclaimed. He got up off the couch and went to the liquor cabinet. Kate watched him take out the bottle of vodka, and he drank straight from the bottle. He tipped the bottle toward her, offering her a swig, and she quickly shook her head. He took one more swig and put the bottle back up in the cupboard.

"Well," she began. "If you're sure you're fine…I'm gonna go to bed. But if you need anything-y'know a friend or something-"

"Thanks," he mumbled. "I'm fine."

"Goodnight Sawyer," she said. He nodded and sat back down on the couch. Kate walked out of the room and into her own bedroom. He watched her leave and then took a deep breath. When he heard her door shut, he stood up and walked down the hall. Kate was standing in the hallway when Sawyer arrived. He sighed deeply and looked at her almost painfully.

"Sawyer, did something happen tonight?" she asked.

"I-nothing," he shook his head. She suddenly fell against him and he caught her before she fell to the ground.

"Dizzy," she whispered.

"Lemme go get Jack," he breathed.

"No," she shook her head. "I don't-he's sleeping. He has a busy day tomorrow...some huge exam-"

"I'm going to get Jack," he answered.

"Wait," she mumbled. "Can you help me lay down first?"

Her eyes started closing, and Sawyer quickly started patting her face.

"Jack!" he exclaimed. Jack came into the hall and saw Sawyer holding Kate up. Sawyer picked Kate up and brought her into her own bedroom. He laid her down on the freshly cleaned sheets and Jack nearly pushed Sawyer out of the way to start examining her.

"She's gonna be alright right?" Sawyer asked.

"She should be fine," Jack said rubbing his head. "How hard did she hit her head last night?"

"Well, she hit it hard," Sawyer shrugged. "But she didn't get knocked out or anything. I mean I know there's a bump there, but I thought-"

"Sawyer is that blood?" Jack asked noticing that Sawyer's shirt had a splattering of blood on it.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "Barbecue sauce."

"Sawyer, I'm not an idiot," Jack chuckled. "What happened?"

"Bar fight," Sawyer answered. "I gotta go to bed."

"Sawyer," Jack started.

"Are you two gonna go at it right here while I'm passed out?" Kate asked, moaning slightly. They both glared down at her, then looked at each other.

"You ok Freckles?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I was just dizzy."

"I think you should go to the hospital," Jack stated.

"Jack, I'm alright," she sighed. "I just need some sleep. If I die in my sleep then you can take me to the hospital."

"Kate-" Jack started.

"It was a joke," Kate chuckled. "Jack, I really think I'm ok...I'm feeling better already."

"Come on Jack-o," Sawyer answered. "Let's let her get some sleep...if she's not feeling better in the morning we'll take her to the hospital...you know that they'll never let her sleep if she's in the hospital. She won't be able to sleep if she's not in her own bed."

"Well she slept just fine in your bed last night, now didn't she?" Jack asked.

"Please," Kate whispered. "Jack, he's right. I just want to sleep right now...if I feel worse in the morning I'll go see a doctor."

"OK," Jack sighed. "Fine. Goodnight Kate."

"Night," she smiled. Jack left the bedroom. Sawyer stood up too and headed to the door.

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered turning back at her.

"Thanks," she responded. "I do just want to sleep in my own bed tonight. I mean...it's only my third night here."

"Well feel free to climb into my bed tonight too," he smirked. "But just to let you know...that couch isn't exactly comfy so tonight...I'll be sleeping there with you...if you choose-"

"Sawyer stop talking," she shook her head.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Sorry. Goodnight Freckles."

"Goodnight," she stated.

**A/N: Was that balanced enough with the Jate and Skate? Don't worry I'm going to keep it as balanced as possible. I know that may not make everyone happy, but pretty much all of my stories are Skate, so wanted to do something a little different. Please please review!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: AnnPatrick-It's not going to be solely Skate as of right now. I'm still not sure how I want to do it yet. I'm still torn. I'm sorry if you thought that it was too Skatey. I hope that you continue to read though.  
****SkateNowandForever-****Believe me you don't have to hypnotize me to make me want to end it in Skate. I'm still not positive what I want to do yet. I'm a huge huge huge Skater, and I hope that it does happen in the show, but as for my story, we'll see how it goes.  
****Sophie-****I'm glad you thought it was balanced****. :) I really tried! It's so hard for me to write cute Jate scenes. But I'm glad you enjoyed it.  
****Leif of Rohan-****Thank you so much for the review. Yeah I actually didn't mind writing the Jate either, even though I'm one of the biggest Skaters you will ever meet. I got into a fight with one of my friends as to who's a bigger Skater…I won. Hehe.  
****JateSkateFate815-****I'm glad that you thought that both the Jate and Skate were cute. If I can please a person who's both a Jater and a Skater, then I guess I'm doing my job. Maybe by the end of my story you'll make a choice! Haha j/k…I think it's good that there's still people out there who don't really care who she ends up with. It was great PMing. We should do it again soon heheh.**

Kate slept soundly throughout the entire night. When she woke up, the first thing she saw was Jack leaning over her. She gasped loudly and sat up suddenly. The clunked their heads together and both brought their hands up to their foreheads.

"Sorry," Kate mumbled.

"Me too," he moaned and sat down next to her. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Yeah," she sighed. "It's ok…I'm a really light sleeper. I was going to say that I feel much better and my head doesn't hurt quite so much…also that I wasn't dizzy anymore, but all those symptoms seem to be flooding back."

"Sorry," he said.

"How about you?" she asked with a small grin.

"I'm ok," he sighed. "As long as all that info on the brain doesn't leave my memory. I just wanted to check on you before I went to work and then class. I'm going to be home late tonight so don't bother making me dinner…I'll catch a burger or something."

"You sure?" she asked.

"I'm making myself dinner anyway," she shrugged. "It's not a big deal to make a larger portion so you can have some when you get home."

"I'll be ok," he shook his head. "Thanks though."

"Good luck on your test Jack," she smiled.

"Thanks," he answered. "I'm really gonna need it."

"You're going to do great," she responded. "I'm sure of it."

Jack left her room and Kate went into the bathroom to get ready for her day. She was in the shower and she felt sick, but the warm water felt good so she just sat down to stop her head from spinning. She leaned her head against the tile wall for what seemed like only a few seconds before a loud knock on the door.

"Freckles!" Sawyer's voice yelled. "You alright in there!"

"I'm fine," she called back.

"Well then leave me some hot water!" he yelled again. She stood up and noticed that the water was freezing. She turned the water off and rubbed her face. When she stepped out of the tub she looked at the steam resistant wall clock that was suction cupped to the bathroom mirror. She had been in the shower for over an hour. But that made no sense. She rubbed her eyes again to look at the clock more clearly. She remembered that it had been 8:00 when she got in the shower because she remembered it being too early. It was now 9:15. She sighed deeply and put her robe on before opening the bathroom door.

"What time did you get up to get in the shower?" he chuckled. "I would have thought you would have slept all morning after last night."

"I think I fell asleep in the shower," she whispered softly. "Don't tell Jack ok?"

"No," he shook his head. "I won't tell Jack. Get dressed…we're going to the hospital."

"No," she answered. "Sawyer I'm fine. I don't-I don't want to go to the hospital."

"Are you scared?" he asked. "Don't worry. I'll hold your hand and I'll make sure that they don't hurt you. But like it or not…you're going to the hospital. Jack would kill me if I didn't make you."

"Is he gonna punish you?" Kate teased.

"Shut up and get dressed."

On the way to the hospital Sawyer kept talking to her and telling her not to fall asleep. He seemed legitimately worried about her which was sweet, but at the same time aggravating. She didn't want to be a burden. Sawyer obviously didn't have anything better to do with his days. When they were waiting in the ER waiting room Kate was sitting next to Sawyer tapping her feet.

"Don't be nervous," he said. "You'll be fine."

"Then why am I here?" she scoffed. "Sawyer what happened to you last night?"

"Drop it," he mumbled.

"I mean," she continued, seeming to not hear him. "You come into the house, obviously upset by something, and then you act like it's nothing…when I know damn well _something_ had to have happened. I mean did you catch Laura cheating on you or something."

"Laura and I were never actually dating if you recall," he responded. "She was a one night stand."

"Ok," she shrugged. "Then what? I mean Jack said something about seeing blood-"

"Shut up!" he yelled. Kate jumped nearly completely out of her skin. There were a couple other people around them that jumped too.

"Ok," she whispered.

"God," he sighed. "When I say I don't want to talk about something then I mean it. Nothing happened that you have any concern with…so just leave me the hell alone."

"Fine," she replied simply. She stood up and started walking out of the hospital. Sawyer quickly followed her and grabbed her by the arm. She twisted her arm out of his grip and scoffed loudly.

"Look," she sighed. "I could care less what happened to you last night. Whatever…but you're not my father or my brother…in fact you barely know me, so can you just leave _me _alone. When I said I didn't want to come to the hospital I meant it. I came because I knew you weren't going to let it go…but now that you're obviously pissed off at me can I please go?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "I may not be anything to you Kate. In fact I don't even care if you hate me right now…I'm not letting you leave this hospital when you could have a concussion. You know that Jack would kill me."

She scoffed softly, but followed him back over to the chairs. She crossed her arms over her chest and sat on the other side of the room from Sawyer. She continued to tap her foot, until finally someone called her…Katherine Austen. She stood up and Sawyer followed.

They were lead into another area where the doctor left them to wait again. Kate sat down on the hospital bed even though she didn't really want to. Sawyer sat down in a chair next to her and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to yell at ya. I just-"

"Don't want to talk about it," she told him. "Believe me, I get it. I'm sorry I asked."

"Look," he sighed. "Maybe someday…I'll tell you all about what happened…when we're actually friends…but as you just reminded me, I'm not your family, and we're not friends, so why would I tell you?"

"You're right," she shrugged. "You shouldn't tell me a damn thing ever."

"Jack, there's a woman in curtain 2...she needs to be taken down for a CAT scan. Possible concussion," a doctor on the other side of the curtain said. Kate perked up when she heard his name. She looked over at Sawyer, and he almost looked jealous. The curtain was pulled back, but it wasn't Jack. It was an older man holding her chart. She smiled at him and he held out his hand.

"I'm Dr. Jackson…but people here just call me Jack," he told her. "So you hit your head? Yesterday was it?"

"2 nights ago," she answered. The doctor moved toward her and touched the back of her head. He stayed quiet as he examined her and then looked at her somewhat seriously.

"I'm gonna take you down to get a CAT scan. When we get the results I can tell if you can go home."

Sawyer waited while they took Kate down for her tests. He was bored and walked around the ER. He looked in a few patients. Most of the people had minor injuries, but Sawyer was hoping for something major. The ER wasn't like the TV show at all. In fact it was boring. Kate had been gone about an hour. They brought her back and left again.

"Seems like all we're doing is waiting huh Freckles?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she shook her head. "I'm gonna be fine."

"You trying to convince yourself of that or me?"

"Me," she mumbled.

"Don't worry," he sighed. "What ever happens…the doc, and me…we'll both make sure you're ok. We'll take care of you. Even though we're not family Kate."

"Ok," she smiled. "Fine…I guess you're my family now. You're my only family I have left."

The doctor came back with the results, and it ended up that Kate only had a mild concussion. They gave her medication and told her she needed to spend the rest of the day in bed. Kate thought she was fine, and she didn't need anymore rest considering she slept all night and fell asleep in the shower too. However on the way home Kate fell asleep so there was no more arguing over whether or not she needed more sleep.

When they got home Sawyer carried Kate up to the house and put her into bed without waking her up. He went back into the living room and started filling out the application to the university. He decided that he would take some classes and try to open up his own auto repair shop. Since he met Kate he had become more motivated. He hadn't even known her a week, but she was already having that affect on him.

She woke up in her bed and it was dark out. She didn't know how long she had slept for but she remembered falling asleep on the way home from the hospital. She walked out into the living room and Sawyer was in the small kitchen attempting to cook something. He even had a cookbook sitting out on the counter. He was swearing softly and making a complete mess of the kitchen. Kate sat down at the table next to the kitchen and watched him. She waited for him to notice her before saying anything. He finally looked up from his cooking and saw her staring at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Are you making dinner?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "But who says I'm making it for you? Maybe I'm making enough for me-oh hell…I can't lie to you while you're looking at me like that. Yeah. I made dinner. I just-you needed rest."

"Did you make enough for Jack?" she questioned.

"No," he shook his head. "It's Jack's late class tonight. He won't be home till 10 or 11."

"Oh," she responded, sounding slightly disappointed.

"Well he musta told ya," Sawyer stated.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "But-never mind. I just wondered if he was going to be home."

"Around 10 or 11."

"Why such a large time frame?" she asked.

"His class goes till 10:30, but sometimes they get let out early," Sawyer began. "Why all the questions? Do you like him or something?"

"I don't even know him," she shook her head. "It was just a question."

Over the next several months Kate, Sawyer, and Jack all got into a nice groove. Jack was coming closer and closer to his graduation date, and then he would be taking the medical exam. After that he'd be certified and officially Dr. Jack Shephard. Sawyer had begun his first semester of school since high school, which for him was 8 years ago. Kate had gotten to know both of them very well. She saw good qualities in both of them, but Sawyer had been right…she should fall in love with Jack because he wasn't there very often. But she was beginning to fall for him anyway.

Sawyer continued to go out and he had one night stands, which Kate knew shouldn't bother her, but it did. Every time Sawyer didn't come home she knew that he was in another woman's bed.

This particular night she wasn't sure if Sawyer would be home, but she made enough dinner for him and Jack to have. Jack walked through the door just as Kate was sitting down to eat. He smiled at her and served himself a plate of food. He and Kate spent the time eating and talking about their days. He was nervous about taking his final test, but Kate told him to take the night off and hang out with her.

"We should play a drinking game," Kate smirked.

"Really?" he asked.

"Why not," she shrugged. "We can hang out and drink…do you know any drinking games?"

"Do I?" he chuckled. "You're looking at a guy who's been in school for 8 years. And plus I've got Sawyer as a best friend. How about a little game of I Never?"

"How do you play?" she asked.

"We say something that we've never done," he began. "And if the other person has done it they have to drink."

"What?" she chuckled.

"Ok," he began. "I'll start out to help you out. I've never seen a soap opera."

Kate smirked and took a small drink from the bottle. "I've never been to medical school."

"Cheater," he shook his head and took a drink. "I've never had a pet dog."

"Me neither," she responded. "I've never played I never."

"Boring!" Sawyer exclaimed as he came into the house. "You gotta ask juicy questions or what's the point?"

"Fine," Kate replied. "Have a seat Sawyer. I've never gotten into a bar fight."

Sawyer chuckled and took a drink from the bottle. Sawyer joined the game and they spent the night drinking and laughing at some of the questions. Kate tried to get Sawyer and Jack to admit that they have done things together, but neither of them did. Once they were quite drunk and barely able to ask questions anymore Kate decided to go to bed. She stood up from her spot on the couch and both men watched her leave.

"I'm gonna go say goodnight," Jack whispered.

"Hmm," Sawyer began. "Say goodnight for the both of us."

Kate went into her bedroom and started getting undressed. She sat down on her bed in her underwear. She still had her bed in the same spot. She got used to Sawyer's snoring, and it was almost to the point where if Sawyer wasn't sleeping in the next room, snoring, she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. She laid back on the bed, without getting into her pajamas. She heard her bedroom door open and shot up. Jack was standing in front of her and quickly shut the door again.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"It's ok," she chuckled. "Come on in…I'm in underwear…not like it's nothing you haven't seen."

"I know," he nodded. "I just-I was just coming in to say goodnight."

"Goodnight Jack," she smiled. "I have one more left."

"One more what?" he asked. She pulled her shirt over her head and walked toward him. She put her hands on his chest and leaned toward him.

"I've never kissed a doctor," she whispered. He leaned toward her to kiss her, but she turned her cheek and he kissed her cheek instead. She smiled at him and crawled into bed. He shook his head and left her room.

**A/N: OK…I know that was really Skatey…sorry. I tried to make it equal, and I know it wasn't, so the next chapter will probably be more Jatey. I really really am trying. Please please review!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sophie- Yeah I see your point about when things are balanced, not liking Kate. I agree with that sometimes.  
Leif of Rohan- I'm glad that you're enjoying my story. I know that you want it to end in Skate, so I hope this isn't too Jatey.  
JateSkateFate815-Thanks for the review. I'm hoping that this chapter is good.**

Kate spent her days off alone mostly. She would go to the mall, or go for walks downtown. She always found something to do. This day she was walking down the sidewalk. She walked passed the window at a restaurant and noticed something that caught her eye.

Will, her ex-husband was sitting at a table with a young blonde woman. It wasn't Angelica, the other woman…it was someone much younger. She looked like she was still in high school. Kate hoped for a minute that maybe it was someone that he wasn't sleeping with, but then she leaned forward and captured his lips. She let out a soft, but audible gasp. Kate turned back around and ran all the way home. She went into the house and slammed the door behind her. She barely noticed Jack sitting on the couch, and whizzed past him. She flung herself on her bed and took a deep breath, trying hard not to cry. She thought that she was over him. She told Sawyer she was over it, but Sawyer didn't believe her…turns out he was right. Sawyer was right, she was still in love with Will. She wasn't over the fact that he had cheated on her, and now he was sleeping with someone much younger, and Kate thought more beautiful too. She had left her door wide open. Jack stepped in the doorway and knocked softly on the doorframe. She sniffled slightly, and then let out a soft chuckle.

"You ok Kate?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm just being stupid. I just-never mind. It's ok. I'm fine. What should we have for dinner?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I can call Sawyer and see if he wants to pick something up."

"Oh will he be home tonight?" she asked.

"He should be," he answered. "I'll go call him."

"Jack," she started. "Wait."

She stood up and took a deep breath. She stepped toward him. He slightly backed away from her, but she only wrapped her arms around him. She took a few deeper breaths, trying harder not to cry, but not succeeding in the least. She sobbed on to his shoulder and he held her cautiously. She didn't seem like she was going to stop crying any time soon. He ran his hand through her hair and lead them over to the bed to sit down. She finally stopped crying and then looked at him.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "Dammit! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I was supposed to get over him."

"Over who?" Jack asked.

"I was sure that Sawyer would have told you," she sniffled. "I-I was married. I caught him cheating on me…caught him red handed."

"Kate," he whispered. "That sucks. I'm so sorry."

"Anyway," she sighed. "It was a year ago…I thought I'd be over it by now. I thought that I'd be completely over him by now…but I'm not."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"It's ok," she shook her head. "I mean it's not really…but it is. I mean it's not like you're the one who cheated on me."

"I know," he nodded. "I just feel bad. Did you see him today or something-"

"Kate!" Sawyer's voice exclaimed and he ran into the bedroom. He knelt in front of her and noticed her puffy and wet eyes. "Are you ok?"

"What?" she asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"I just saw that asshole," he sighed.

"What are you talking about?" she questioned.

"I know Will," he responded. "I should have put two and two together a long time ago. I met this guy a year ago. He had just gotten divorced from his wife Katie. He told me that she was a bitch and a slut so he asked her for a divorce. I just saw him in Harry's Bar and Grill with some blonde bimbo. He's an ass Kate. Don't worry about him. Just stop thinking about him."

"Well that's easier said than done Sawyer," she sighed.

"Do you want me to make you a gin and tonic?" he asked. "Hold the tonic."

"Gin?" she asked. "Gross…but I'd be ok with a vodka martini."

"I don't think that drinking necessarily is the answer," Jack argued.

"Jack-o…my main man. My best buddy," Sawyer began. "Our friend Kate here is obviously in pain. It's our job as her surrogate brothers to make sure that she has fun, and stops feeling like crap. I say we start the night out with some liquor and…how about tacos? There's that place that delivers…"

"Ok," Kate smiled and took the hand that Sawyer was offering. "So if we're gonna do Mexican, I say how about some margaritas?"

"Sounds good," Sawyer nodded. "Although I don't think that we have any of the ingredients, other than the tequila."

"Well," she began. "We have salt and lime right? How about tequila shots then?"

Sawyer lead Kate back through the house and into the kitchen. He set a chair out for her to sit in and got the ingredients out to do tequila shots. Jack entered the room, and watched the two of them. He licked his hand and put the salt on it, and then handed Kate the shot. He handed her the lime wedge. She licked the salt off his hand, took the shot, and then bit into the lime. She shook her head and made a face.

"Whoo!" she exclaimed. "I can't do those anymore."

"Looks like you did a fine job to me Freckles," he smirked.

"Do you really know will?" she asked.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Scumbag. Y'know I never really liked him. He always rubbed me the wrong way, but I never really knew why."

"Give me that bottle," she sighed and took the bottle from Sawyer. She drank out of the bottle and took a deep breath when she brought the bottle back down.

"Kate," Jack began kneeling in front of her and putting his hand on the bottle. She stared at him, but refused to hand him the bottle. He finally wrestled it from her hand and put the bottle on the kitchen counter. Kate rolled her eyes, but looked at him.

"What?" she scoffed.

"You don't want to do this," Jack shook his head. "You don't want to just drown your sorrows in a bottle of liquor."

"Oh really?" she asked.

"This isn't you," he told her. "You're smarter than this."

"Just because I like to drink doesn't mean that I'm stupid," she answered. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions Jack. I can drink whatever the hell I want to drink. I'm not a little kid anymore."

"Kate I know that," Jack sighed. "Listen…I'm not trying to tell you what to do…I'm just trying to protect you."

"You don't want to protect me," she scoffed. "You just don't want me to be tainted. Well I'm sick of lying. I'm sick of pretending that I'm someone I'm not. Sawyer you should hear this too. When I was 19 my step dad raped me, so I killed him. I set his house on fire…but it took me 5 years to work up the courage to do that. It was only about a year and a half ago that it all went down. Since it happened, my mom won't talk to me. I know that it might surprise you…but there it is. I'm not perfect. So give me the bottle of tequila Jack."

She took the bottle quickly and left the room. Jack and Sawyer looked at each other almost in awe. Jack stepped toward Sawyer.

"Did you know about this?" he asked.

"No," Sawyer answered, defensively. "Of course I didn't know about it…jeez Jack, what do you take me for."

"Well you didn't tell me that she was married before," Jack replied.

"Because it's really none of your damn business," Sawyer said. "I mean I know that we're best friends, but when she told me that…Jack she was drunk. I'm pretty sure she didn't even really want me to know. I thought considering that it was only the second day that I met her, I should probably keep her private life private."

"Are you two having sex?" he asked.

"What?!" Sawyer practically yelled. "What the hell kind of question is that? Why would you ask me that?"

"It's just a question," Jack shrugged. "When you're not here it seems like she's jealous for whoever you might be with…so I was just wondering-I don't want to make a complete fool of myself-"

"Too late for that Jack," Sawyer scoffed. "No I'm not sleeping with her."

"No that's not what I mean," he answered. "I mean I don't want to make a fool of myself because I like her. And I'm going to go talk to her…I'm going to ask her out."

"Do you really think that's the greatest of ideas right now Jack?" Sawyer asked with a chuckle. "I mean you saw her. She's freaking out. Do you really want to ask her out when she's freaking out…and drinking."

"I really like her Sawyer," he mumbled. "I mean…I haven't ever felt this way about anyone. Not even Sarah. I think I'm in love with her."

"Jack, you've known her for 3 months," he argued. "How can you already be in love with her? Plus…have you even kissed her? How can you be in love with a woman that you haven't kissed."

"Have you?" Jack asked.

"No," he responded. "Y'know be my guest Jack…go talk to her…kiss her…ask her out…but don't come cryin' to me when she says she's not ready. I'm gonna order us some food."

Jack walked from the room and toward Kate's room. He knocked softly on the door and went in without waiting for an answer. She wasn't drinking the bottle, but just sitting on the floor staring at it. Jack went over to her and picked the bottle up. He put it up on her dresser and helped her to her feet. She gave him a small weak smile. It was evident that she wasn't drunk quite yet. She probably had only had the one shot and that was it. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned toward his lips.

"Are you here to make me feel better?" she asked.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "Kate, I really like you."

"I like you too," she answered. She leaned toward him and kissed his lips. She spun them around and pushed him down on the bed. He almost looked scared of her as she climbed on top of him.

"W-what are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm moving on," she replied. "It's what I do. I have meaningless sex to get over it."

"Meaningless?" he questioned. "Kate you just told me that you liked me…how is that meaningless?"

"I don't love you," she told him. "But I still want to have sex."

"Come on Kate, no you don't," he stated sitting up and pushing her with him. "You're just going to regret it…and I don't want-I came in here to ask you if you wanted to go somewhere. Go out to dinner or something."

"Like a date?" she asked with a smirk.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"I'm upset, and crying, and needing comfort, and all you want to do is ask me out on a date?" she asked. "No. Sawyer was supposed to order us food. I'm not gonna just ditch him because you have some weird fascination."

"Fascination?" he asked. "Kate you were just coming on to me remember? You kissed me…you're the one who wants comfort sex…not me. I was just coming in here to see if you were ok."

"Well I'm fine," she sighed. "And I don't want comfort sex. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that…I mean-no that's not what I meant. I was sort of testing you. To see how far you'd let me take it. I guess you passed for now. I wanted to see if you were serious when you said that you like me."

"I do," he answered. "I like you Kate. I want to go somewhere with you. I want to be with you alone…without Sawyer there to upstage me. So maybe tomorrow?"

"Jack," she shook her head. "I don't want to complicate things. I mean if we started dating I think that would be really awkward for Sawyer…and then what if we broke up? I mean what would happen? I'd have to move out and then we wouldn't even stay friends, and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Sex changes everything. I just don't want things to change."

"Ok," he mumbled. "I'm sorry Kate."

"Don't be," she answered. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have-I just…I've been hurt one too many times. I just don't want to get hurt."

"I wouldn't hurt you Kate," he shook his head.

"I know," she nodded. "But I might hurt you…and I wouldn't want that either."

"Guys," Sawyer said outside the door. "If you're done having sex, the food is going to be here in like 10 minutes."

Kate chuckled softly and went to the door to open it. Sawyer was standing in front of her. He put his hand against her face and sighed softly.

"Everything ok?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Good," he replied. "Then give me the tequila."

Kate let out another soft chuckle and went over to the dresser to get the bottle of tequila. She handed it to him and then pulled the bottle away from his grip and smirked widely. He shook his head and they left the bedroom. Jack followed at a distance. He felt the sharp stab of jealousy as Kate innocently flirted with Sawyer. He knew deep down that she probably liked Sawyer too. He wasn't sure who she liked more, but when he and Kate were alone, they seemed to have a connection that was stronger than Jack had ever felt before. He was worried that she might have a deep connection to Sawyer too. When they went into the kitchen Kate sat back down on her chair that Sawyer had set in the kitchen floor. She took the salt and started getting a shot ready.

"Have you taken one yet?" she asked Sawyer.

"No ma'am," he shook his head. "Remember…you took the bottle?"

"Oh, right…sorry. But we have to do it right."

"What's the right way?" he asked. Kate poured the salt on her hand and then put the lime wedge into her mouth. Sawyer smirked and took the shot. He took the lime out of her mouth, and then made a slight moaning noise. Jack was standing in the doorway, looking almost green with envy.

"We're doing tequila shots Jack-o," Sawyer stated. "You should join us."

"It's ok," Jack shrugged. "I think I'm just going to go to bed."

"Jack, come on," Kate answered. "We just ordered food. You have to at least eat with us…even if you don't drink."

"Ok," he smiled. "You're right…as usual."

They ate dinner, and Kate stopped talking about anything bad in her life. Kate was drunk again…she was even more drunk than the second night that Sawyer had met her. She was sort of falling over on the couch and chuckling.

"I'm gonna go to bed," Jack yawned.

"Party pooper," Kate mumbled.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "Party pooper…why are you going to bed?"

"Because I have a job and a life," he answered. Both Sawyer and Kate stared at him, and he shook his head. "Ok…I'm sorry that was harsh. It's Saturday tomorrow…I have a big day tomorrow. I'm just about done with all this crap, so…goodnight."

"Goodnight Jack," Kate smiled. Jack smiled back and left the room. Kate looked over at Sawyer who hadn't taken his eyes off of her.

"What?" she chuckled.

"You have a great smile," he whispered.

"You too cowboy," she responded.

"I'm serious," he shook his head. "Will is a jackass…if he doesn't want you…don't worry…in no time you'll have a nice normal relationship."

"Oh yeah?" she asked. "Then how come it's been over a year?"

"I dunno hon," he mumbled.

"I kissed Jack," she sighed. "I think I would have had sex with him if he would have let me. I'm such a mess Sawyer…it's starting again."

"What's starting?" he asked softly.

"Drinking and sex," she replied. "I mean-when I first found out about Will…I went out and found the first guy that would talk to me…we had sex in this club…in the bathroom. I don't know why I'm even telling you this."

He reached over and gently touched her cheek. She turned toward his hand and closed her eyes. He took his hand from her face and let out a short sharp breath.

"I'm so drunk," Kate slurred.

"That I can see my friend," he told her with a smirk.

"I'm so horny," she responded.

"Well I'm not sure that's the best thing for you to be telling me," he chuckled. Before he could say anything else Kate had crawled over to his lap and started kissing him. He kissed her back, but then immediately backed away.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"Come on," she argued, leaning forward to kiss him again.

"If you were sober," he mumbled and touched her face again. "I would give in to this in a second…but this isn't what you really want Kate. You're just hurting-"

"Bastard!" she sobbed. "How could he do that to me?!"

"I don't know," Sawyer shook his head.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I want to tell you something. It's just this weight that I feel…I feel heavy…I just need to tell you."

"Tell me anything," he answered.

"I killed my dad."

"You told me," he nodded. "Earlier…you told me and Jack."

"Well," she sighed. "I started drinking really heavily after that. Will kinda got me out of my hole that was my life. He helped me get it all back…until I caught him. I mean-he told me he loved me…he told me he'd keep me safe, that he'd protect me. Why didn't he protect me Sawyer?"

Sawyer sighed softly and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her gently on her head and continued to hold her.

"You and me Kate," he mumbled. "We're more a like then I thought…I'm ready to tell you…the first week you lived here…you asked me what happened that day I came home with blood on my shirt. The day you hit your head."

"Yeah," she nodded.

"When I was 8 years old…my dad…he killed my mother and himself. All because she was sleeping with someone else. That man slept with her, and then took all of our money. My dad had 50,000 dollars saved up, and my momma gave all of it to this new guy…so I promised my mom and my dad that I would find this man and kill him…he ruined my life…so I was going to end his. I got a tip about where he was, so I went to kill him…and it was the wrong guy."

"What?" she asked, lifting her head from his shoulder.

"I got it wrong," he shook his head. Kate saw tears glinting in Sawyer's eyes. "I killed the wrong man."

Kate sighed softly and put her hands on his cheeks. He shook his head gently, but didn't move away from her. She put her head against his shoulder again, but he stood up.

"I can't," he mumbled. "I just-I can't. See you in the morning…and don't tell Jack ok?"

"Ok," she nodded. She got up too and they each went into their own rooms. Kate was staring at the ceiling, and even though the seriousness of their talk began to sober her up, she was still drunk and horny. She heard Sawyer in the room next to her. He wasn't snoring, but instead he was moving around the room. She got up out of bed. She walked to Sawyer's room. She opened the door and saw him pacing in the room. He looked at her and sighed.

"What?" he snapped. She silently stepped toward him and put her hands on his cheeks. He was shaking and Kate could tell that he was trying not to cry.

"I'm an emotional drunk too," she whispered.

"I want you to leave," he mumbled. "I can't do this Kate. I want you to leave."

"Do you?" she asked quietly. She didn't move from her spot and neither did Sawyer. She leaned toward him and put her head against his shoulder. He lifted her head to look at her.

"Go away," he replied. She raised herself on her toes and kissed his lips softly. He turned his head away, but she pulled him back into another kiss and he gave in. He kissed her back and wrapped his arms around her. Kate walked blindly toward the bed, and Sawyer sat down. He shook his head when she kissed him again.

"Kate," he whispered, almost begging her. "It hurts so damn much."

"I know," she nodded and gave him another quick kiss. "I know it does."

"I have to turn myself in," he told her. "I just can't do it anymore. I can't pretend like that night didn't happen. I have to turn myself in."

"No you don't," she shook her head. "No you don't...just like I'm not going to turn myself in for killing my bastard of a father. I'm not going to let you do this to yourself."

"Who know Freckles," he mumbled. "Maybe they'll put us in to jail cells next to each other."

Kate walked slowly out of his room and into the hallway. Jack was standing in the hallway, apparently looking for someone...Kate could only guess that it was her that he was looking for.

"Is he alright?" Jack asked softly.

"I dunno," Kate shrugged.

"What happened?" he questioned.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "He's alright...just thinkin' about his parents I guess."

"It's the aniversary of their death," Jack sighed. "Tomorrow. They died 18 years ago. Before I even knew him."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't apologize to me," he said, almost smiling. "My parents are alive and well. I think tomorrow we really need to be extra sensitive to him."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Jack-I just wondered...why didn't you want to stay out with me and Sawyer."

"And watch while the two of you flirted all night?" he asked. "No thanks Kate."

"I wasn't flirting," she half scoffed. "I've been trying to get your attention."

"Me?" he asked. "Why?"

"Because I like you Jack," she told him. She smiled weakly at him and walked into her room. Jack could only stand slightly stunned as Kate shut her bedroom door. He wasn't sure if she was just drunk, and that was the only reason she was saying that to him, or if she really meant it...but either way, it was the first time in almost a year that he didn't miss Sarah.

**A/N: So? I hope this isn't annoyingly balanced...haha. I just couldn't help myself. I hope that everyone liked it...please please please review!!**


	6. Chapter 6

Kate woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. Usually she would love that smell, and she'd follow her nose into the kitchen. Kate may have been an expert at cooking delicious gourmet dinners, but Sawyer always made the best breakfasts. Kate wasn't used to it because before she lived with Jack and Sawyer, she always made a bowl of cereal or had a granola bar for breakfast. But this morning was different. After drinking last night the smell of the cooking food made her feel sick to her stomach. It also didn't help that she had left her blinds open the previous night and a stream of light was shining on her face. She pulled the covers over her head and moaned loudly.

She tried to fall back to sleep, but considering she felt like crap she knew that she wasn't going to be able to. She heard a soft knock at her bedroom door, and then heard it open. She didn't bother removing the blanket from over her head. She knew that it was Sawyer anyway. She smelled the bacon even stronger when her door opened. She was sort of annoyed by it, but at the same time she knew that he was only trying to be nice. He sat down on the bed next to her and put his hand on her back. She let out another moan and shook her head.

"Do you want some breakfast Freckles?" he asked quietly.

"No," she moaned again.

"Do you want a tall glass of water and a bottle of aspirin?" he asked.

"Yes please," she mumbled, her head still buried under the covers.

"Then you gotta sit up," he answered. She peeked her head out of the covers and smiled at him. He was sitting on the bed holding a glass of water, and with 3 pills sitting in his other hand. Kate grabbed the pills and put all three of them in her mouth. She swallowed the pills dry, and then took the glass of water.

"I remember," she whispered.

"You remember what?" he asked.

"I remember what you said last night," she responded quietly. "I remember our conversation. You told me about-"

"Shh," he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about that Kate. I don't-I can't-Kate I don't want to be a monster."

"Sawyer you're not a monster," she replied quickly. "You're not. I mean look at you…you just brought me aspirin to make me feel better. You made me breakfast, and even though I probably won't eat it…you did…you're not a monster Sawyer. You're a good man. And if you're a monster so am I. I mean I killed too-"

"You killed a man who deserved it," he interrupted. "I mean…you did say that he raped you Kate-I mean right? He deserved that Kate. I killed an innocent man. Someone who had no idea who my parents were. All because I was blinded by my stupid rage. I didn't want to-it was pure hate…and when I found out that it was the wrong guy-"

"You felt awful," she stated. "Sawyer I saw you that night…you regretted it. You know you did."

"I can't do this with you right now," he shook his head. "I'm going to go eat…join me or don't."

He walked from the room and Kate rubbed her forehead. She was still massively hung over but she still wanted to go talk to Sawyer…even if they didn't talk about anything important. She remembered that Jack had told her to be extra nice to him…it was the anniversary of his parents death and he was sure to need someone to talk to, even if he didn't want to admit it. She stood up from her spot on the bed and went to her dresser. She tossed on a pair of jeans and pulled a shirt over her head. When she walked into the kitchen the smell of bacon was even stronger and she felt a little woozy. She sat down across from him and waited for him to say something to her.

"I'm going out," he mumbled. "I'm going to go look at a few buildings…I'm opening my own repair shop…the sooner the better."

"Can I come?" she asked.

"Fine," he sighed. "But I'm going right now, so get your crap and let's go."

As they were driving it was completely silent, except for the fact that there was some upbeat pop song on the radio. Sawyer had enough of it and changed the channel. The next thing that was heard was a slow country song. Kate listened to the lyrics and chuckled softly to herself.

"What?" Sawyer asked, easing the awkward silence.

"Country music," she shook her head. "I used to blast it in my room. Wayne hated it but I always seemed to be able to drown out the yelling with a good country song. But now-listening to it…it kinda makes you want to kill yourself doesn't it. Someone in the song always dies."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "But it's real at least. Love isn't some perfect happily ever after fairytale. Love sucks…someone always gets hurt. And people die Kate."

Sawyer remembered the day 18 years ago when he was sitting in the back of the police car and there was a country song playing.

**Flashback**

He was hiding under the bed. He heard the first gunshot and knew that his mother was dead. He couldn't hear her voice anymore, but he knew that she would want him to stay under the bed. When his dad came into the room and sat down on the bed he knew that he was about to shoot himself too. He heard the second shot and didn't jump. Instead he crawled out from under the bed and looked at his dead father. He wasn't ready to see his mom's dead body, so he sat down on the floor and pulled his knees to his chest. It wasn't very long before he heard sirens and saw the flashing lights. He heard the police break into the house. They kept treating his mother like she wasn't even a person. "Hank move the body over there." "Hey, what should I tell the chief about the body." "The body is still warm, it must have just happened." After his bedroom door was opened James felt like tackling the police officer to the ground. "There's another body in here. Cover the other one so that the child doesn't see."

The police man carried him to the car and placed him in the back seat. It was almost as if he had done something wrong. He felt like a criminal, sitting in the back seat. He strained his ears to hear what the policemen were saying, but there was a song playing loudly on the car radio and he couldn't hear the conversation between the officers, and the coroner, and the paramedics. He decided to listen to the song instead. It was a happy country song, which didn't happen too often. But it wasn't long before a slower song started. A song about an orphan child…the police officer quickly flipped the radio off and looked back at the small blonde boy, who had tears forming in his eyes.

**Flashback Over**

"Sawyer!" Kate screamed.

He looked back at the road and realized that he hadn't really been paying attention to his driving. He quickly swerved back onto the road and slammed on the breaks to avoid hitting the car in front of them. Then he quickly turned the car into the driveway of what Kate thought looked like an abandoned building. Sawyer breathed in deeply and looked over at Kate.

"We're here," he smiled weakly.

Kate and Sawyer spent the rest of the day together. Sawyer had bought Kate lunch, and when she tried to order something less expensive he forced her to order exactly what she wanted. He decided that he was going to buy the property and start his life. He felt a little ridiculous since he was 26 and just starting his life.

Later that Jack tried to talk to Sawyer, but he didn't want to talk about any of it. Kate kept the subject on lighter topics, knowing that Sawyer wouldn't be able to handle. He gave her a weak smile and then left the room. Kate started picking up the empty beer bottles. Some were from that night, but most of them were from the previous night. Jack helped her and then walked down the hallway to try once more to talk to Sawyer.

"Jack!" Kate exclaimed. She followed him and took him gently by the arm. "Jack, look I know you mean well, but I really think that Sawyer just needs to be alone. If you go in there…don't bring up his parents."

"Kate," he began. "I know that you're only trying to be nice. I know that you think you know Sawyer, and I guess you know him, but I think I know him just a little better than you."

"Then you should know that he can't handle talking about his horrible past," she argued back. "Jack, I know that you think you know…but you really don't."

"And you do?" Jack whispered. "We've been friends for almost 15 years. You may have some weird connection and you may have shared secrets…but I think I know my best friend more than you do."

"Will you both just shut up?" Sawyer asked, appearing in the doorway. "I'm fine. I really just want to be alone. Yeah…my parents are dead sob sob cry cry. It was 18 years ago, I'm over it."

"But Sawyer-" Jack started.

"No!" he exclaimed. "Just leave me alone!"

He slammed the door, leaving Kate and Jack still in the hallway. Kate gave Jack an I-told-you-so look and he sighed softly and walked toward his room. Kate followed him into his bedroom. Jack turned back toward her and let out a soft chuckle. He sat down on his bed and offered Kate a place next to him. Kate sat down next to him and took a deep breath.

"What happened to him?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" she whispered.

"Last night," he began. "He told you something that happened to him…something I don't know…what happened to him."

"Nothing Jack," she shook her head.

"I know something happened," Jack argued. "Tell me what happened Kate. Tell me."

"Jack," she began. "He doesn't want you to know. I told him I wouldn't tell you."

"Why?" he asked. "I'm his best friend. We tell each other everything. If something was wrong he'd want me to know."

"Jack," she began. "I'm sorry. I can't tell you…I told him I wouldn't."

"Fine," he mumbled. "Are you two having sex or something?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked.

"Kate," he sighed. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

"W-what?" she stuttered.

"Sorry to just blurt it out like that," he mumbled. "I care about Sawyer, and about what happened to him. I care about the fact that his parents died, and I feel for him…I really do. But tonight all I could think of is you. Kissing you, loving you."

"Jack," she whispered. Before she could speak again he leaned toward her and kissed her lips. She kissed him back, but then stood up and shook her head. He put his hands on her face and looked into her eyes. She gave him a small smile and then backed away slightly. He pulled her back into his gaze and kissed her lips again. This time she gave in and kissed him back. He laid down and she followed him. He rolled over on top of her and deepened the kiss.

When she felt his hand on her bare skin she let out a soft breath. They both heard a loud thud in the hallway. Kate furrowed her eyebrows and stood up. She carefully went to the bedroom door and opened it slowly. Sawyer was laying in the hallway with blood dripping from his wrists. There was a knife in one hand and a bottle of gin in the other. Kate let out a loud scream and knelt beside him.

**A/N: Ok…I know that was really Jatey. I have been getting such mixed reviews…some people don't want me to keep going back and forth, but some people love the balance of things, and there are a couple people who want it to end in Skate, and a couple people who like the Jate. Gah I don't know what to do…I know that in the end someone is going to end up not being happy with it, but lemme know how this chapter was at least…thanks **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Tina-Thank you for the review. I will probably keep going for a while.  
****Dramafreakx2-Yes I know…very dramatic, but there is a method to my madness. I'm glad you are enjoying the fic so far.  
****LeifofRohan-Don't worry…Sawyer is my absolute favorite character and I can't handle killing him…sorry if it's spoilerish, but he won't die.  
****JateSkateFate815-Yay. I am trying to be balanced. Now I'm getting reviews where people want her to make a choice, so I'm not sure how much longer it will be balanced…she's going to stay friends with whoever she doesn't pick though  
****Sophie-I understand your concern with it ending up Jate…I'm hoping that you continue to read.  
****veronika-I know what you mean about Jate…the 4th season I was very disappointed in the Jatey-ness of it…I'm hoping for some great Skate scenes next season, not to mention an amazing reunion.  
****This chapter is slightly graphic and language stuff. I don't know if I should change the rating or not, but if you're offended then I'm sorry.**

"Sawyer, Sawyer!" she yelled and put her hand on his shoulder. "Oh my God, Sawyer what did you do? Open your eyes! Please you have to-"

Before she could continue Sawyer opened his eyes and started shaking. It looked to Kate like he might be having a seizure. Jack had bent down next to him too and they both looked at each other.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. Suddenly she realized that he wasn't shaking, but laughing. He sat up and looked at her with a large smile. Kate looked at him in awe and looked down at his wrist. He wiped the 'blood' away and licked his fingers.

"Ketchup," he smiled.

"You asshole!" she yelled at him. "God I can't believe you! Why would you do that?"

"It was a joke," he answered innocently.

She shoved him hard and stood up and slammed her door hard. There was a picture hanging on the wall that shattered to the floor. Jack stared down at Sawyer, who was wiping the ketchup away with a towel.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jack asked.

"I was just trying to be funny," Sawyer answered. "Everything with me thinking about my dead parents...all of it got way too serious way too quickly. I didn't mean to upset her-"

"We thought that you were dead Sawyer," Jack scoffed. "What the hell did you think would happen?"

"Well I didn't even know if you'd notice _Jackson_," Sawyer sneered. "You spent the entire night making eyes at Kate, and when you weren't making eyes at her you were trying to get me to talk about my damn parents! I told you that I didn't want to talk about it so why the hell didn't you just leave it alone?"

"I-I'm sorry," Jack shook his head. "I know that you have-I know you don't like talking about it…but I just thought-"

"Well you thought wrong," Sawyer answered.

"I'm gonna go see if Kate's ok," Jack sighed.

"You do that," he nodded. "Go dry her tears…go screw her for all I care."

Jack lunged toward Sawyer and punched him hard in the face. This time real blood poured from Sawyer's lip, which was split down the middle. Sawyer stood up and almost was about to fight back when Kate came out of her room, when she heard the scuffling in the hallway. Sawyer and Jack were both standing in a fight stance, staring at each other and breathing heavily.

"Great Sawyer," she nodded. "Real nice."

"Me?!" he exclaimed. "I didn't do nothin'! He punched me in the face…he split my lip open!"

"But it's your fault!" she yelled at him and shoved him again. "What were you trying to do?! See if I would give a damn?! Because I don't! I don't care!"

"Then why are you screaming at me?" he whispered. Kate stared at him and let out a soft breath. She looked back at Jack who was still looking like he might try to kick Sawyer's ass.

"Goodnight," she mumbled.

"No," Sawyer said grabbing her by the arm and shoving her almost forcefully against the wall. Jack tried to step in and pull Sawyer off of her, but he shoved Jack to the ground and looked back at Kate.

"You know what I'm feeling Kate," he whispered. "I told you about all crap that's going on in my head. So you tell me now whether or not I'm a good man Kate. I'm I a man who you would want? Who you could need? Because I don't think so. I heard you and Jack talking. I heard him tell you that he loved you. And how did it make you feel?"

"Just because Jack told me he loved me, doesn't mean that I feel the same way-"

"Gee Kate," Jack responded. "Thanks."

"Jack," she sighed.

"So that kiss," he began again. "It just meant nothing?"

"Jack stop it," she said softly.

"You were kissing me back," he continued. "If you don't want to kiss me Kate, then you shouldn't lead me on. You wanted that kiss Kate…and it probably would have gone farther if this jackass didn't interrupt us."

"Son of a bitch!" Sawyer exclaimed and lunged toward him. He punched Jack in the nose and Jack kicked Sawyer away and he let out a loud yell. Kate looked down and noticed that the knife, which had been left forgotten on the floor, sliced into Sawyer's arm. Kate sighed softly and picked up the knife. She helped Sawyer stand and accidentally touched the knife wound. He let out another painful groan and she walked with him into the kitchen. She forced him to sit in a chair at the kitchen table. He held his arm and she silently got a wet towel. She sighed again as she pressed it against the wound and he groaned again.

"Dumb-ass," she mumbled. "Both of you. I think you're going to need stitches."

"How am I a dumb-ass?" he asked. "Seems like Jackass is the one who split my lip opened and he's the reason I sliced my arm open too-"

"From here it looks like it hit an artery," Jack said quietly.

"Lemme take you to the hospital," Kate sighed.

They drove to the hospital. Against Sawyer's wishes Jack came too. He sat in the backseat completely silent. Everything was silent other than every time Kate went over a bump Sawyer would let out another moan or groan. When they got to the hospital Sawyer was taken almost directly into a room, thankfully. Kate and Jack waited outside.

"Isn't this nice?" Jack murmured. "Sawyer tricks us in to believing he's dead, and now he's being treated like some sort of prince."

"Jack just stop it," she sighed.

"Did you want to kiss me?" he asked softly.

"Jack," she began.

"No," he interrupted. "I think I deserve to know."

"When you kissed me I was kinda caught off guard…but honestly…it did feel good. I mean it was a nice kiss."

"Till Sawyer ruined it all," he stated. "Do you think that it would have gone farther if he hadn't-"

"No," she answered quickly. "I wouldn't have let it happen. Jack I do care about you. I mean-in fact I want you-but I'm not good enough for you Jack. I'm always going to feel inadequate."

"No," he whispered. "No Kate-"

"Is there a Kate Austen in here?" a doctor in a clean white lab coat walked into the waiting room, and interrupted Jack.

"Yeah," Kate answered. She stood up and walked toward the doctor.

"Sawyer wants to talk to you," he replied. Jack stood up too and the doctor put up his hand. "Not you Jack. He told me to keep you away from him. He doesn't want to see you Jack."

"Wes, he's my friend," Jack shook his head. "You can't-"

"I can," Wes nodded. "Jack I know that you're his friend, but he said he didn't want to see you. I don't want to have to call security so I suggest that you wait out here for your friend."

"Can he come home tonight?" Kate asked.

"We want to keep him here over night. He has a morphine drip for the pain…he got 42 stitches. I don't know what the hell you two were doing because he wouldn't tell me, but his arm was cut pretty deep. But he still wants to see Kate."

Kate slowly walked to the room where Wes was leading her. She sat down in a chair next to Sawyer's hospital bed and the doctor walked away, closing the door gently behind him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked.

"Yeah, my arm feels like hell, thanks for being concerned," he said sarcastically.

"I'm really not too worried about you right now," she scoffed. "You're-I'm still mad at you. I mean-come on! Why did you do that? Why did you pretend like you slit your wrists?"

"I thought maybe if I pretended I could see what it was really like," he mumbled. "Kate…there are some days that I can't even stand to look at my face in the mirror."

"Was today one of those days? Because no offense but you look like hell…did you even take a shower today?" she asked.

"For your information no," he shook his head and smiled weakly. "And thanks. I feel like hell too."

"Sawyer I think you should talk to Jack," she started. "I mean he did come here because he cares about you. I mean…I really don't think he wanted any of this to happen."

"Do you know what it's like to hate yourself Kate?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "Yeah…I do. I hated who I was before I killed my father. I hated that I was a part of someone so horrible. Someone who could do that to me."

"Y'know how you wanted to know about my parents…and the guy I killed?" he asked.

"Not really," she smiled. "You gave me that information willingly."

"OK," he nodded. "But you want to know more don't you?"

"Not if you're not ready to tell me," she whispered.

"Will you tell me what happened to you?" he asked. "If I tell you my sob story?"

"Sawyer I-" she started, and tears already started forming in her eyes.

"Please," he whispered and took her hand.

**Flashback**

Kate was 17. She was looking in the mirror and fixing her hair. It was her senior prom and Tom was going to be picking her up. She had never been one for dances or getting all dressed up. She always had her hair up in a messy bun, and wore jeans and a t-shirt every single day. She was a tomboy and never liked anything too girly. But it was something about the senior prom that was different. Tom asked her if she wanted to go, and when she said yes, it shocked him, but he was more than happy to buy the tickets and order a limo. Kate was sitting at her mom's vanity. She wasn't wearing her dress yet. Instead she was wearing her robe with nothing underneath. Her mom was working at the diner all night, and Wayne was supposed to be at the bar all night.

He was supposed to be, but instead he was standing behind her. She saw him in the mirror and gasped loudly. She spun to face him and wrapped the robe tighter around her body.

"Hey there Katie," he slurred. Kate wasn't sure if he said Katie or cutie, but either way it made her skin crawl.

"Wayne, what are you doing here?" she asked. "I'm getting ready for the prom…you weren't supposed to be here."

"Well," he started. "Were you and Tom planning on having sex tonight for the first time?"

"None of your business!" she scoffed. "Go away."

"Are you a virgin Katie?" he asked, stepping toward her and putting his hand on her leg.

"Don't," she said firmly and pushing his hand away.

"You are, aren't you," he smirked, which made her shiver and get goosebumps up and down her arms. "You're going to lose your virginity to that stupid kid…don't you want a man?"

"Wayne leave me alone," Kate said, trying her best not to let her fear show. He pulled her into a standing position and pushed her onto the bed. Before she could even begin to try and stand back up he climbed on top of her. The more she fought him the more he held her down and forced himself on her. She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see him. She closed her eyes till it was over…she didn't go to the prom that night.

* * *

Kate walked up the steps to her mom's house. She hadn't been back there since she was 17. The minute that she graduated high school she left town. But she came home for her dad's birthday. Her dad, Sam was going to be 50 so she wanted to do something special. She knew that her mom kept a bunch of old photographs and other memorabilia throughout Sam's life up in the attic. When she arrived at the house she was really thankful that Wayne's truck wasn't in the driveway. She went up into the attic by herself and started looking through some of the boxes. She saw a journal sitting on the top of one of the boxes. She smirked to herself and opened it. It was her dad's journal that he took with him when he'd go overseas. She started reading, and paid close attention to the dates. From May 1976 to March 1977 Sam Austen was in Vietnam. Kate was born in May 1977, so she knew there was no chance for her father to be her father.

She dropped the journal and ran down the ladder leading back into the main part of the house. She pushed the ladder back up into the attic and turned around to leave the house. She bumped into a figure as she spun around. She looked up at Wayne and saw his green eyes staring back at her. Her green eyes. Her mother had dark brown eyes, and Wayne had green. She closed her eyes, she didn't want it to be real.

**Flashback Over**

"It's a damn good thing you killed him Freckles," he sighed. "Because if you hadn't then he'd be just about dead right now."

"Ok," she whispered. "So then are you going to tell me your story?"

Sawyer started from the beginning. He told her about how the first 8 years of his life were pretty great. His parents loved each other, and they loved him. But occasionally Sawyer would catch his father staring at him like he was some kind of thing. As he explained hiding at his grandma's house, under the bed Kate began crying softly and he squeezed her hand.

"Sawyer-" she started.

"I didn't mean for my story to make you cry Freckles," he mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"I am too," she nodded. "You have to stay here over night I guess. The doctor said something about a morphine drip…for the pain."

"I'd just as soon go home," he answered. "I want to go home Kate. I want to sleep in my own bed…next to the wall…where you're sleeping just on the other side Freckles."

Kate gave him a smile and squeezed his hand gently. She pressed her lips together and genuinely felt bad that he was going to have to stay the night. She knew that when she was feeling sick or hurt, she always felt better if she was in her own bed. And the way that he was looking at her with that smile, and the way he said 'where you're sleeping just on the other side', it made her blush.

"James Ford," the nurse came in and interrupted the moment. He moved himself upward to sit up farther and grimaced slightly at the pain that shot up through his arm. He looked at the nurse and she smiled weakly at him. "You can go home James."

"What?" Kate and Sawyer both asked.

"Jack Shephard made arrangements for you to go home," she explained. Sawyer let out a soft mumble and Kate smiled at the nurse.

"Thank you," she replied.

They drove back home, and the silence was even more awkward than before. Kate was driving and when they got 3 blocks away from the hospital she slowly pulled off the side of the road. Jack was still sitting in the backseat with his arms crossed over his chest. Kate looked back at Jack, and then looked at Sawyer.

"Ok guys," she sighed. "I don't know what the deal is with you two, but you've been friends for, what, like 15 years? Why don't you just kiss and make up?"

"Very funny," Sawyer mumbled. "Kate just drive."

"No," she scoffed. "Not until you stop-what the hell is wrong with you two anyway? You're going to let a stupid prank end your friendship?"

"Are you daft?" Sawyer asked softly.

"What?" she questioned and turned toward Sawyer.

"You must be deaf, blind, and stupid Freckles," he continued.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Exactly," he answered. "You don't have any idea what I'm talking about."

"We're both in love with you Kate," Jack mumbled from the backseat. "This has nothing to do with Sawyer's stupid prank. We're both in love with you and we both want you. Sawyer's jealous that we were making out in my room."

"Shut up," Sawyer said. "Just shut up. I don't care about Kate kissing you…if that's what she wanst, then that's just fine. I don't care. Kate, will you please just drive. I want to go to bed."

Kate put the car into gear, and the rest of the car ride was silent.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I hope that you all like this chapter. Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! You guys are awesome.**

When they got back home Kate silently went into the house and slammed her bedroom door. She was pissed that Jack would point it out to her that both of them loved her, and she was almost hurt that Sawyer didn't admit to it. Sawyer and Jack both walked into the house behind her and when they heard the bedroom door slam they looked at each other. Jack quickly grabbed Sawyer by his bad arm and pushed him against the wall. Sawyer groaned loudly and kicked Jack off of him.

"Sawyer what the hell is wrong with you?" Jack asked.

"What are you talking about?" he scoffed.

"Why did you leave me just hangin' there like that?" Jack questioned. "I tell Kate that we both love her , the least you could do was agree with me."

"I don't give a crap that you kissed her," Sawyer answered. "If she wants to kiss you that's her own prerogative. I can't really do anything about it. You kissed…big deal."

"She kissed me back Sawyer," he replied. "It wasn't just one sided…doesn't that bother you in the least?"

"No," Sawyer shrugged. "Any two people can kiss…do you remember what Kate said? She said that just because you said you loved her…doesn't mean she feels the same way."

"She will," Jack stated.

"Like Sarah?" Sawyer asked quietly. "Because let me tell you something about Sarah…she may have loved you…but she would rather be with me any day."

"What?" he inquired.

"We screwed," he said. "All night. And she screamed my name."

"You're lying," Jack shook his head. "Sarah never would have touched you. You're just trying to piss me off."

"Hmm," Sawyer murmured. "Really wish I was bro, but we were drinking, and Sarah was feeling a little lonely since you were never home…we-"

Before Sawyer could finish his sentence Jack shoved him to the floor and started hitting Sawyer repeatedly. Sawyer finally shoved Jack off of him and the fight continued. Sawyer and Jack both swung at each other. Sawyer overpowered Jack and held him by the throat. Jack tried to fight back, but Sawyer was too strong and only held him tighter.

Kate was in her room, and when she heard the fighting stop, she decided to go out and give both of them a piece of her mind. When she went out into the living room and saw that Sawyer was holding Jack by the throat and she quickly ran toward them.

"Sawyer stop it!" she screamed and was trying to push him off of Jack. Finally Sawyer let go and Kate breathed in deep. She looked from one of them to the other while Jack coughed violently, trying to catch his breath too. He started getting up and going toward Sawyer again, and Kate quickly stood up and stepped between them.

"Stop!" she exclaimed, loudly. "Will the two of you just cool it. Stop fighting. Sawyer…yes…I kissed-"

"This ain't about you Freckles," he interrupted. "It's about the fact that Jack can't seem to keep a woman satisfied. Y'know, but it's ok Kate. Obviously you like him…why don't you be with him? Become the perfect couple. Have hot steamy sex anytime you want…scratch that though…and make it, anytime Jack's here and available…you'll be with him Kate, and maybe he'll give you great pleasure…but only when he's here…sooner or later, you're going to get lonely…and when you do my room is right over there…Sarah is the one who initiated all of it Jack. You just couldn't fulfill her needs."

"Asshole!" Jack yelled and lunged toward him, but Kate somehow was able to hold Jack back. Sawyer only chuckled and left the room. Jack pointed at him threateningly. "I'll kill you. You better sleep with one night opened James, because I'm going to kill you."

"Ok!" Kate exclaimed and looked at Jack with a small scoff. Sawyer only smiled cockily and shut his bedroom door softly. Kate turned toward Jack who almost looked upset that she hadn't stuck up for him.

"He had sex with Sarah," Jack said softly. "Why would he do that?"

"He was drunk," Kate shook her head. "He didn't know what he was doing. They were both drunk, and things just-"

"Wait," Jack began. "How do you know?"

"Oh," she sighed. "I don't know…just a guess. Sawyer would never do that on purpose. I mean I'm sure that he didn't do it to hurt you. Maybe he just told you to hurt you…but he wouldn't sleep with your girlfriend, unless he was too drunk to know what he was doing."

"I don't believe it," he stated. "He told you didn't he. You knew."

Jack didn't say anything else, but instead pushed past her and went into his own room. All because of Sawyer's stupid prank it felt like their comfortable home was falling apart. Kate had never had a stable home life, and her life with Jack and Sawyer was the happiest that she had been in her entire life. She sighed to herself and decided the first one she'd talk to was Sawyer. Maybe in the morning she'd go talk to Jack. Kate walked down the hall to Sawyer's door and didn't bother knocking before throwing the door open and then slamming it shut.

"Don't you know how to knock?" he scoffed, and turned around, not realizing that it would be Kate.

"Why would you tell him about Sarah?" Kate asked. "Why would you ruin your friendship-"

"He was already pissed at me Kate," he shook his head. "We were already fighting-"

"So you thought that you might as well just make it worse?" she interrupted. "Sawyer…listen. I know that-"

"You know nothing," he mumbled. "Kate the minute that I met you-that I saw your feistiness and I dunno, your beauty I guess…I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it. You were like this challenge-"

"So your goal has been to get me-" she began.

"No!" he exclaimed. "No…my goal Kate…my goal was to get you to notice me."

"What are you talking about?" she asked swallowing the small lump that had made its way into her throat. "I noticed you…how could I not notice you Sawyer, you live next door to me."

"Yeah," he chuckled softly and nodded. "I know that I live next to you Kate. I'm reminded every night when you're snoring-"

"I don't snore," she argued.

"Keep telling yourself that Freckles," he smiled. "But anyway…I know for some reason I like to talk to you…I like to tell you about my whole gross and horrible past. And I know about yours. I know what you became after your divorce, and I understand it, probably more than you even know…but somehow…Freckles I know that you'll always go back to him. For some reason you crave his acceptance, and I just can't compete with that. I can't compete with some future spinal surgeon."

"But as you pointed out…he's never here," Kate whispered.

"When he kissed you tonight," Sawyer started. "I know it's dumb to even ask…but-would you really have stopped it before it went-"

"Yes," she answered quickly, nodding her head. "I'm not ready for that Sawyer. I had sex with a lot of people this last year."

"You saying that you have some sort of disease Freckles?" he half smirked, but Kate knew that part of him was also concerned.

"Pervert," she shook her head. "No…but it's been 5 months…I promised myself that the next time I was with someone it would be for love."

"Well," he sighed. "As you know…you have love Kate. Now it's up to you."

"You saying you love me?" she asked quietly.

"Dammit," he sighed. "Kate you know I do. You know I'm-"

Before he could continue Kate leaned toward him and kissed his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and groaned loudly into her mouth as his arm bent oddly. She backed away and gave him a sad look. He shook his head and smiled at her before leaning back in. Part of him thought that she might back away from him, but she didn't and instead she kissed him harder. He lead them further into the room and onto the bed. She kissed him slow, but hard, and he moaned again. This time she knew it had nothing to do with his arm.

"W-wait," Sawyer breathed. Kate could hardly believe her ears when he said wait. She stopped kissing him and looked down at him. "Kate we can't."

"Why?" she asked, slightly hurt.

"Because," he shook his head. "My head is really messed up right now. I just can't-I have to wait until I talk to Jack. I mean things with me and Jack are really screwed up, and I can't do that to him. Kate I know that it seems like basically me and Jack's friendship is done, and maybe it is…but he was my friend when I had no one. I mean all the kids called me trailer trash, or some poor little orphan…and Jack didn't. Jack was just my friend…I gotta talk to him…I gotta try and make things right. And if he wants nothing to do with me, then maybe I'll move out…and then maybe we can do this."

"Do you realize how amazing you are?" she chuckled. "I don't think Jack would ever do that for you."

"Well I ain't him," he shrugged.

"No," she smiled. "You're not."

She leaned toward him again and gave him another small kiss. Then she stood up and went into the hall. Sawyer followed behind her and as she gave him a flirtatious smile and went into her own bedroom, Sawyer knocked softly on Jack's door. Sawyer heard movement in the bedroom and then the door opened. It was obvious that Jack thought it was going to be Kate instead of Sawyer because as soon as the door opened and Jack saw Sawyer, he started closing it again.

"Jack wait," Sawyer said, putting his foot in the door.

"Why the hell should I?" Jack asked. "You had sex with my girlfriend…I mean who knows how many diseases you gave her, and then she gave me…with the kind of skanks you hang out with. And now I'm gonna have to go get tested."

"You better watch your mouth Jackson," Sawyer scoffed. "And besides that no chance of you getting anything from her when you didn't have sex with her once the last month she lived here-"

"Shut up and move your foot," Jack replied.

"Jack come on," Sawyer sighed. "Look…I'm sorry. I didn't mean-I know that it sounds stupid, but neither of us meant for it to happen."

"You're right," Jack nodded. "It sounds stupid."

"Well you're right too," Sawyer began. "I'm in love with Kate. It made me insane to think that the two of you were kissing. But I just thought maybe you'd want to know that she just kissed me too…just a few seconds ago. I'm pretty sure she would have taken it much farther, but I stopped her because I want to talk to you. I don't want to fight with you anymore Jack…I mean Kate's right, we're best friends. Is our entire friendship going to end over this?"

"Yeah, we were best friends," he mumbled. "Until you slept with my girlfriend. And until you tried to kill me. Sawyer I don't want anything to do with you…so will you leave?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Goodnight Jack."

Sawyer went back into his room and shut the door gently. Jack went to shut his door and then instead went into the hall and knocked on Kate's door.

"Just a second!" she exclaimed on the other side. He felt like he was waiting forever, but then the door opened and Kate was standing in front of him, in her pajamas.

"Hey," she said.

"Did you just kiss Sawyer?" he asked. "Did you kiss him tonight? Did you want to have sex with him?"

"I like who I am around him," she shrugged. "I mean he knows everything about my life. He knows things about me that I never would have told anyone."

"Then why did you tell him?" he asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I trust him," she sniffled. "Jack he has never made me feel like I wasn't good enough."

"When have I ever made you feel like you weren't good enough Kate?" he scoffed.

"Never on purpose," she sobbed. "But I just have this underlying feeling every time we hang out that you'll always have to take care of me. That you'll always be better than me. Sawyer and I-we're the same. We've shared things that I don't think I could ever share with you."

"So you kissing me tonight," he sighed. "Before all the drama…did that mean a damn thing to you?"

"Jack it was a nice kiss, and I've wanted to kiss you before, but tonight I realized…I'll never be someone you can be with. You need a woman who's going to need you. Someone who's going to need to be taken care of. I don't need that. I need someone who understands me."

"And that's Sawyer?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," she nodded. "But yeah."

Jack turned back silently to his room and went inside. Kate took a deep breath and went into her room. She laid down on her bed and got under the covers. She honestly did feel bad about what she had said to Jack, but she honestly did feel that way. She had always been able to talk to Sawyer. She liked Jack and she liked being with him, but she always felt inadequate."

She was only laying in bed for 5 minutes when she heard her door open. She propped herself on her elbows and watched Sawyer walking toward her. She sat up completely and shook her head.

"I just-" he mumbled. "Jack doesn't want to have anything to do with me. He hates me, and I'm pretty sure that he's gonna kick me out."

"He's not going to kick you out," Kate said shaking her head.

"Well, since he pays more than I do," Sawyer shrugged.

"I'm sorry," Kate sighed. "God, everything is so screwed up!"

"Kate, you don't have to worry about anything," he said putting his hand against her cheek. "I know things are screwed, but you don't have to worry. Jack won't make you move out. Jack won't be mad at you. If we're together, he won't be a problem for you…he might make my life a living hell-"

"Sawyer," she sniffled. "I ca-"

"Yes you can," he nodded. "I mean we like each other right? We can be together because we like each other. I love the way I feel when I'm with you Kate…and I think the feelings mutual."

"Yeah," she answered. "I do-I feel good when we're together-"

He leaned forward and kissed her lips. She kissed him back and laid down. They both started running their hands against each other's bodies. Sawyer started lifting Kate's shirt up, and she let him, but didn't let him take it all the way off. She chuckled softly and he put his hand against the top of her pants.

"Wait," she whispered. "I want this-I do…but it's just-it's too fast."

He stopped and went back to just kissing her. They ended up falling asleep in bed together. In the morning they were sleeping in a tangle of arms and legs. She opened her eyes and smiled. She started kissing him slowly and he woke up and kissed her back.

"I'm ready," she whispered.

Before anything more could happen, Kate's door was flung opened, without a knock.

**A/N: Good? Bad? I hope that all the Jaters aren't too disappointed. I just liked the way it was going. Don't worry though after angst and stuff, Jack and Kate are going to still be friends, and there might be still some flirty stuff still with them. Anyway please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Well most of you are happy with the Skate. Sorry to those of you who wanted Jate. I tried to update as soon as I could. I have a bunch of family staying with me so during the day I'm with them and at night we stay up till all hours playing video games, haha. **

**So you know that you're obsessed with Lost when you eat strawberries and immediately think of fish biscuits. That's happened to be like 4 times in the past week. Haha. And omg…I was on IMDB, and I found a movie called Jack & Sarah. I kinda giggled slightly to myself.**

Kate gasped loudly, from being startled by the sound of the door hitting the wall. She knew if there hadn't been a door stop in the way that the doorknob might have gone through the dry wall. Sawyer sat up on the bed and put his arm over Kate, almost protecting her from Jack.

"I wanna know every detail," he said with his teeth and fists clenched.

"Jack-" Kate began.

"I'm not talking to you!" he exclaimed.

"Well I'm talking to you," she answered. "And I'm going to tell you that it's really none of your damn business what me and Sawyer did last night…you're not going to know every detail-"

"I'm talking about Sarah," he interrupted. "You at least owe me that Sawyer…so tell me right now what happened with Sarah…you know how I felt about her…why would you do that to me?"

"You really wanna know?" Sawyer whispered. "Because you might not like everything that you hear."

"Tell me."

**FLASHBACK**

Sawyer was sitting with his feet propped up on the table. He drank his bottle of beer like it was water. He had had a really tough day, and didn't really want to deal with anything. Jack was at school late, and he said something about stopping by the hospital to visit his dad and maybe do a little on hands training. That was the great thing about being a surgeon's son. Jack could always get into the hospital whenever he wanted for extra practice.

Sarah came home and looked at Sawyer who had dribbled what she could only guess was sweet and sour sauce from his Chinese food, down the front of his shirt. She chuckled as she walked through the door and sat down next to him.

"You're a mess and it's not even 8:00," she said through her chuckling.

"Fine," he said nonchalantly and took off his shirt. Sarah couldn't help but look at his chest muscles. She looked away only when Sawyer noticed her looking. Sarah took a bottle of beer without asking, and Sawyer let her.

"Y'know I haven't seen Jack in about 3 weeks," Sarah said softly.

"Huh?" Sawyer asked. "How is that possible. Doesn't he sleep in the same bed as you anymore?"

"Yes," she nodded. "But by the time he gets home, I'm usually sleeping. And then he leaves before I wake up."

"Damn woman," he shook his head. "I don't care how tired I am, if I came home to you in my bed I'd wake you up when I got home."

"I wish he would," she smirked. "Have you seen him lately?"

"I saw him yesterday when he got home," Sawyer answered.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I forgot that you stay up till all hours. I mean it's not like you have a job or anything...oh God, Sawyer I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. It was a bitchy thing to say…I just mean, I have to get up in the morning to get to work-"

"Sarah, it's cool," he answered. "I know what you mean…but it's like I said…Jack's a dumbass. He should want to spend any free moment he possibly can muster and be with you."

She leaned toward him and put her head on his shoulder. He looked down at her and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"It's almost over Sarah," he told her. "Before you know it Jack's going to be back…he'll be done with school…and he'll be back in bed with you."

"I miss him," she nodded. "But honestly I think I miss sex more. It's been 3 weeks since I've seen him…but it's been about 7 weeks since we've had sex."

"Well when he gets home tonight I'll tell him to go in and wake you up."

Sarah smiled and let out a soft chuckle. They both started drinking. Around 11:30, Jack called and said he was going to stay at the hospital till later doing some paper work for his dad. Then he said that he was planning on staying there the night and sleeping in his dad's office since he was going there early in the morning to help him with some other stuff anyway. Sarah slammed the phone down and went into her and Jack's room. Sawyer decided to wait just a few minutes before following her. He knocked on the bedroom door and she opened it, wearing only underwear and one of Jack's shirts.

"Oh sorry," Sawyer said slightly embarrassed and starting to turn around.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Please."

"Please what?" he asked quietly. She took him by the wrist and forced him to look at her. He looked at her and she leaned toward him.

"Sarah-" he started.

"Sawyer," she interrupted. "I'm so lonely. When I met Jack I was so happy…I mean I thought, 'wow, I finally have a nice stable man, someone who can take care of me'. But now he doesn't even talk to me. He's not my true love…I miss him, but I just-I want someone to care about me."

"I care about you Sarah," he assured her. Before Sawyer could say one more word Sarah leaned toward him and kissed his lips slowly.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "Sarah-we-"

"We can't," she nodded. "But at the same time…yes we can. Jack's not here. He's never here-when was the last time you brought a woman home Sawyer? Because I think you're just as lonely as me."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I guess I am…but Jack's my friend."

**FLASHBACK OVER **

"Sawyer get on with it," Jack scoffed. "What the hell happened?"

"It was a few days after that," he mumbled.

**FLASHBACK**

Jack was at the hospital again. Sawyer and Sarah had been hanging out for the last 3 days straight. This particular day they had been drinking heavily. They were both drunker than they had been in a while. Sarah was leaning on him slightly and running her hand over his arm.

"I want you," she said softly.

"You want me to what?" he asked with a slight chuckle.

"You know," she smirked. She leaned toward him and kissed him. He stood up and she followed him. He started shaking his head, but she jumped into his arms, her legs coming around his waist.

"My room," she breathed.

"Uh uh," he shook his head.

"Jack's bed is more comfortable than yours," she told him. He carried her into the bedroom and tossed her onto the bed. They continued to kiss and both of them tore at each others clothes.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"So you did it in my bed?" Jack scoffed.

"I told you that you might not like everything you hear Jackson," Sawyer sighed. "Listen-I-"

"Get out of my house," Jack scoffed. "Get the hell out of my house right the hell now! Get out!"

"Fine," Sawyer answered. He got off of the bed and left the room. Kate could hear Sawyer's bedroom door slam. She jumped slightly at the force that Sawyer used to slam his door. She looked up at Jack who was still standing in front of her.

"Do you want_ him_?" Jack asked. "Someone you know is going to just get pissed and slam doors-"

"Jack, shut up," Kate said forcefully, almost making Jack take a step backward. Kate stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "You know nothing about what is going on with him, Jack."

"Because he won't tell me," Jack answered. "It's not my fault that he won't talk to me. Kate…did you two have sex last night."

"And that's your business because?" she started, wrinkling her forehead. She knew that he just wanted to know if he ever had a chance in hell, but she was still pissed that he would even think of asking her that.

"Because I wanna know," he shrugged. "Seeing as you were about to have sex with me last night…I find it somewhat ironic that you'd have sex with-"

"Yes," she lied. "I had sex with him last night. And I would have stopped anything from happening between you and me."

"You honestly expect me to believe that?" Jack asked. Kate scoffed again and left the room. She knocked on Sawyer's door before opening it and closing it quickly behind her.

"I can't believe him," she shook her head. "I can't believe I would ever have even considered-"

"Kate," Sawyer interrupted. "What did he say to you?"

"He just asked me if we had sex last night," she responded.

"What'd you say?" he asked with a slight smirk, and beginning to step toward her, almost seductively. She stepped toward him too with a smile, and they stopped when they were arms length away and took each other by the hands.

"Hmm," she began, with an almost evil grin. "I told him 'yes'."

"Why?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows, confused but not mad.

"Because I wanted it to be true," she answered, leaning toward his lips. He lifted her slightly off the ground and they both smiled as they kissed. She walked with him over to the bed and laid down on top of him. Sawyer stopped her and looked up at her with a smile.

"I want this," Kate assured him. "I was scared last night, but right now…I'm ready Sawyer. I'm ready for this."

"I don't think you are," he whispered. "Kate it's ok. I mean-I don't have to have anything right now."

"I do," she told him with another smile. She bent down and kissed him again. She began grinding against him and he let out a soft breath. He stopped again, looked up at her and she scoffed loudly.

"Kate," he began. He put his hand on her cheek and kissed her before he sat up. "Kate last night you told me that you didn't want to have sex until you were in love. You're not in love with me Kate."

"How do you know how I feel?" she asked.

"Well I don't exactly," he sighed. "But I know that you don't love me. I like you Kate…I love you. I just think maybe it might be a little harder for you to fall in love, which is completely understandable."

"Ok," she said rolling her eyes. "I'm not in love with you. But I still want to be with you. Maybe we can just take this really slow?"

"Sure," he nodded and chuckled softly. "Let's start by you helping me pack."

"Lemme go talk to Jack," she stated.

Kate left the room quickly and bumped into Jack sitting in the hallway. He was sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him. Kate tucked her hair behind her ear and sat down next to him. He looked at her and sighed.

"What?" he asked.

"You're not really going to kick us out are you?" she asked.

"Never you," he shook his head. "But I want him gone."

"Jack, he's your best friend," Kate responded. "I mean-he's-"

"I don't care," he interrupted. "Best friends don't sleep with each other's girlfriends."

"Jack," she started. "Seems to me like your relationship with Sarah was already ended by the time Sawyer had sex with her. He made me promise not to tell you, because he was afraid to lose his best friend."

"Well" he mumbled. "I guess he was right."

"You're seriously just going to kick him out after everything the two of you have gone through?" she asked. "I mean doesn't he still pay rent? And just so you know...if he's being kicked out...I'm following him Jack. And you may not have anyone then."

"I don't need anyone," Jack answered firmly.

"Fine," she shook her head. "Be that way."

Kate got back up and left Jack sitting on the floor by himself.

**A/N: OK...so slightly shortish chapter. Like I said before I have a bunch of family here visiting from all over, and we like staying up late (which is normally when I write), but I did want to give you guys an update. Thank you so so much to all my awesome reviewers. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and give me lots and lots of great reviews!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I know that some of you are still disappointed. Don't worry. I always fix things when fights happen (Well not always), but this chapter is more fluffy and less angsty...till the end really. Anyway I hope you enjoy!**

Kate went back into Sawyer's room and sighed deeply. He walked toward her and put a hand on each of her hips. She smiled softly, and shook her head.

"He said he didn't need anyone," Kate told him. "I told him he'd be all alone, and he didn't seem to care."

"He will," Sawyer mumbled. "Once he realizes how much he does need people in his life it'll be too late."

"I don't want to leave," she whispered. "I like it here."

"Well I do too Kate," he answered. "But I don't have a choice in the matter. You can stay as long as you want. Jack wouldn't kick you out."

"I told him if you leave, then I'm going to follow you," she said with a smile.

"Well that's very sweet Freckles," he chuckled. "But I don't need you resenting me too. Kate you finally found a place that you feel safe and feel at home. I don't want to ruin that for you."

"Do you honestly think that it's the place that makes me feel that way?" she asked. "I can feel safe anywhere, as long as it's with you."

"A little heavy on the cheese there Kate," he shook his head. "I'm gonna try one more thing…because honestly I love it here too, and if I can…I want to stay too Kate. I'll go talk to him, and-I dunno…maybe he'll forgive me."

Sawyer stood up and went into the hallway. He saw that Jack's door was slightly ajar. He walked into Jack's room. Jack was sitting at his desk studying. He had his hand on his head and looked like he was having a hard time concentrating. Sawyer walked over to Jack and sat down in the chair near the desk.

"Lemme alone," Jack mumbled.

"I'm sorry," Sawyer whispered. "I'm sorry, alright. We were both-I never meant for anything to happen. It's not like we fell in love or anything. She was lonely…she missed you. I think at that point she would have been willing to have sex with anyone."

"Thanks," Jack half scoffed. "That makes me feel much better."

"No-that's not-," Sawyer sighed. "She was upset. She was drunk."

"What about you?" Jack asked. "You weren't upset and I'm kinda thinking that you weren't that drunk either. You're supposed to be my best friend-we're like brothers. And brothers don't sleep with each other's girlfriends-I was going to propose to her."

Jack opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out a ring box. He handed it to Sawyer. Sawyer sighed softly to himself and opened the ring box. There was a diamond ring shining back at him. Jack took the box back and pulled the ring out of it's crevice. He handed it back to Sawyer.

"Read it," Jack mumbled.

"J plus S equals love," Sawyer read out loud. "Could you get more lame Jack-o."

Jack didn't want to smile because he was still pissed off, but he couldn't help but to let out a soft chuckle. Kate was standing in the doorway, unbeknownst to the men. She smiled too and walked into the room.

"You're finally declaring your love for each other?" she asked, and pointed at the ring. Sawyer rolled his eyes and handed the ring back to Jack.

"I'm just gonna go pack," Sawyer mumbled.

"Wait," Jack sighed and closed his eyes. "Do you guys promise not to be all over each other?"

"You're going to let me stay?" Sawyer asked, almost shocked.

"You're right Sawyer," Jack shrugged. "We've never let a girl come between us…even in 9th grade when we both wanted Lisa Conrad. We're best friends. It would be so stupid to just end it all in one night."

"We're not best friends Jack," Sawyer shook his head. "We're brothers."

Jack held out his hand and Sawyer shook it but then pulled Jack into a one arm hug. Kate smiled slightly and let out another soft chuckle.

"You two should be alone," she teased. Both Sawyer and Jack turned toward Kate and both chased after her. She ran from the room and the ran into the kitchen, but the boys were hot on her trail. She turned back around and smiled widely.

"Ok," she chuckled and put her hands up in surrender. "OK…I give up. I'm sorry."

"You can't give up," Sawyer answered. "We haven't even caught you yet."

"Well I surrender anyway," she responded. "Jack, are you seriously going to forgive Sawyer just like that?"

"Don't you want me to?" he asked. So the two of you can keep living here?"

"Well yeah," she nodded. "But you're so damn stubborn I thought that it would at least be a week or more till you'd want to forgive him and talk to him again."

"Well," he sighed. "What can I say? I'm a good guy. I actually gotta go to class, so you two kids have fun. I'll see you later on tonight."

Jack left the house and Sawyer looked at Kate with a mischievous smile. She smiled back, but didn't walk toward him, like she was acting like she might. Instead she turned back toward the living room and sat down on the couch. Sawyer walked over to her and sat down next to her. She almost looked as if she might start to cry.

"Kate, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I feel guilty," she mumbled. "I mean Sarah was supposed to marry Jack…I mean…they were going to get married…or he would have proposed anyway. And now he's not with her, and he's not with me…I just feel bad."

"Do you love him?" Sawyer asked, almost too honestly.

"No," she shook her head. "I mean I love him…but I love him as a friend…it's no more than a friendship love."

"Ok," Sawyer shrugged. "Then that's all I need to know, to prove that you have nothing to feel guilty about. Kate he doesn't love you either. He just thinks he does because of the way that you make him feel when he's around you…it's the same damn way I feel."

"W-what?" she half stuttered.

"Like we're the only person who's ever mattered," he whispered. Kate leaned toward him and kissed his lips gently. He kissed her back and reached his arms around her. She fumbled with his shirt and lifted it over his head.

"Sawyer," she began. "I want this-"

"Don't you gotta go to work?" he asked. She looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost 9:00. She had to be at work at 9:30, and it sometimes took her at least an hour to get to work. She swore under her breath and kissed him once more before disappearing out the door.

That night when Kate got home from work Sawyer was sitting on the couch sleeping. She hated to wake him up, but she sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He mumbled something in his sleep and then his arm came around her. She wanted to kiss him, but instead she closed her eyes and she also fell asleep.

When Kate woke up she could hear and smell that Sawyer was in the kitchen cooking dinner. She stretched her hands over her head and Sawyer walked back into the living room carrying two plates of food.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Starved," she smirked.

They ate dinner in mostly silence. Kate still felt slightly guilty about Jack, but she was still having so much fun with Sawyer that she didn't want to think about how much Jack could be hurting. Sawyer kept playing footsie with Kate as they ate. She would answer him with a flirtatious smile. After they did the dishes they went back to the couch and Sawyer put in a movie. Kate had never seen Casablanca, and he thought everyone should see that movie. They started out cuddling on the couch and Kate paused and looked at him.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded, slightly nervous about what she might say.

"I think that Jack's right…we really should be cool around him," she continued. "I mean I feel bad enough as it is. We don't need to be all over each other when he's around."

"Well I'm sorry, but if he's sitting in here when you come home from work or whatever," he started. "I don't want to have to not kiss you just because he can't handle it."

"Well we can at least hold back when he's around," Kate answered.

"Ok," he nodded. "I guess Jack does deserve us to be discreet."

"Thank you," she smiled and kissed him quickly on the lips.

Throughout watching the movie they both kept finding ways to touch each other. Sawyer kept running his hand down her hip and thigh, till finally Kate flipped over toward him. He thought maybe she was going to try and kiss him, but instead she just looked at him.

"You going to watch the movie?" he asked softly. She shook her head and leaned toward his lips. They started making out on the couch, and forgot all about the movie. As her shirt came off, Kate thought maybe it would be a better idea to go to one of their bedrooms, but she didn't move. They both heard Jack's keys in the door and Kate quickly got up and grabbed her shirt. She pulled it over her head just before Jack walked in. Sawyer sighed soft enough for only Kate to hear him. He looked at her and frowned.

"I'm going to bed," he stated standing up and going to his bedroom. Kate looked at Jack with a smile.

"How was class?" she asked.

"Alright," he answered. "I got about 3 hours of homework to do before tomorrow though. I'm actually going to a study group. I just came home to grab a book I forgot."

Jack quickly went to his bedroom and left the house. Kate only had enough time to say 'bye' before he was gone. She went to Sawyer's room and went in without knocking. He was laying on the bed staring at the ceiling.

"What's wrong?" she asked, walking toward him and laying down on the bed next to him.

"I know that I should be ok with all of this…I mean I got the girl I guess…and believe it or not, I do get trying to respect Jack's feelings…but what about me?" he asked. "I'd like to make out with my girlfriend without getting in trouble. I don't want to have to worry about getting caught by Jack. He used to walk in on me making out with girls all the time."

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I'm not being fair to either of you. Maybe I should just leav-"

"Don't even think about it Freckles," he smirked. He pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her. She kissed him before he could start it. She rolled over on top of him and they started kissing harder and faster. Kate allowed him to take her shirt off again. They started taking off more clothing, until Kate was down to only a pair of underwear. Sawyer started trailing wet kisses down her stomach and back up to her mouth. She let out a deep breath as he kissed her all over her body. She started fumbling with his belt and he shoved his pants down. Sawyer's phone rang loudly. It wasn't really that loud, but it just seemed like it. Sawyer took the phone and almost threw it across the room when he noticed that the number on the caller id was for the local hospital.

"Hello?" he asked. Kate sat up and covered herself with the sheet. She watched as Sawyer went whiter than the sheet that she wrapped around herself. He nodded a few times and mumbled an 'ok, thanks' as he hung up the phone.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Christian Shephard just died," he said softly.

**A/N: Please pleaase review!**


	11. Chapter 11

Sawyer looked at Kate sadly and stood up from the spot on the bed. Kate wasn't entirely sure on what he was doing, but then he started getting dressed and she started getting and idea. He dressed in silence and then leaned forward and kissed her gently.

"Keep the bed warm Freckles," he whispered. "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Jack's dad died," he began. "I'm gonna go find him and let him know."

"Well do you even know where he is?" Kate asked. "I mean I do think that you should tell him, but do you know where to find him?"

"Yeah, he usually has his study groups at the library in one of the study rooms. But when I come back," he leaned toward her and kissed her lips softly. "We can finish right where we left off Freckles."

"Sawyer," she chuckled. "We don't have to tonight. Jack needs us. We should probably just sit up with him and talk."

Sawyer nodded and leaned toward her for one more kiss. He left the room and Kate took a deep breath. She got re-dressed and went back into the living room.

Sawyer climbed up the steps to the library and felt like he might puke. Christian Shephard was an alcoholic, and never home, but when he was around and sober he was a really good father. He did a lot for Sawyer since Sawyer had no one. He didn't want to be the one to tell Jack that his father was dead. He didn't want to be the one, but he knew that it would sound the best coming from him. He went to the normal room that Jack usually studies in and noticed that Jack was the only one in the room. He opened the door without knocking and Jack quickly looked up…obviously startled by the door opening.

"Hey," he said, slightly confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Where is everyone?" Sawyer asked, avoiding the inevitable, of telling Jack about his father.

"They're not here yet," he shrugged. "The study group doesn't start till 8:30, but I had extra work, so I came a little early. Now back to the original question James…what are you doing here?"

"Jack," Sawyer sighed and sat down across from him.

"Sawyer it's all good," he chuckled. "You didn't have to come and interrupt my studying just to apologize about Kate. I know that you love her. And she obviously loves you too-"

"Jack shut up for a second," Sawyer interrupted. "About 20 minutes after you left-oh God."

"Kate," he said. "Is Kate ok?"

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "Kate's fine. Jack, you really gotta stop interrupting me because I may never get this out. Ok…um-the hospital called. Your dad-"

"He drunk again?" Jack asked.

"Dammit Jack shut up!" Sawyer yelled. He paused for a moment, and right before he was about to begin again Sawyer and Jack heard a knocking on the door.

"Will you two please keep it down?"

It was one of the library workers and she looked very angry. Sawyer and Jack both nodded and apologized quietly. Sawyer stood up and walked to Jack's side of the table. He sat down next to him and took another deep breath.

"Jack," Sawyer started again. "Christian was hit by a car. His blood alcohol level was .10. They think that he was just so drunk that he walked in front of a car without realizing what he was doing."

"Dumb ass," Jack mumbled. "Is he in the hospital?"

"They did everything they could I guess," Sawyer shrugged. "Jack, he died."

"What?" he asked, in shock. "What do you mean? What did they try to save him? Did they-"

"Jack I dunno," Sawyer whispered. "I'm only the messenger here. They told me that your cell phone was turned off and they couldn't get a hold of you, so could I please tell you what's going on."

"I gotta go," Jack said quickly.

"Jack-" Sawyer started.

"No!" he exclaimed loudly. "My mom is all alone. I have to go. I'll be back in the morning."

Jack quickly left the room and moments later the door opened again, and it was the same librarian. She glared at Sawyer and he stood up.

"I'm gone…sorry."

Sawyer went back home and when he walked in the door Kate was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. She had obviously made an entire pot for the three of them to share. She figured that Sawyer and Jack would both be returning to the house.

"I made coffee," she said obviously. "Where's Jack?"

"He went home because his mom is alone, so he went to be with her I guess," Sawyer shrugged.

"Oh," she whispered. "Well, that makes sense."

Kate got up and wrapped her arms around Sawyer. He was slightly taken aback, not really knowing why she would be hugging him like this, but he hugged her back and ran his hand down her back.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"I know how much Christian meant to you too," she answered. "I know this must be just as upsetting for you as it is for Jack."

Sawyer and Kate went over to the table and sat down together. They started drinking the coffee and Sawyer started telling crazy stories about Christian. He was one time spanked by Christian and then his grandma yelled at him that it wasn't his kid to hit. Not all the memories of Christian were happy ones, but most of the time he was a stand up guy. He almost felt as if Christian was his dad too…his dad who was never home…but nonetheless, a father figure. His grandpa had died when his mom was a teenager, so he never knew him, and his grandma had to raise him all by herself. She was a wonderful woman. And she was still alive today. Sawyer would go visit her every so often, but it was to the point that it was upsetting now because she barely knew him. When he'd go visit her in the nursing home, he would be there for almost a half an hour before she'd go 'Jamie! You came and visited your old grandma'. She always took a long time to answer his questions, because she couldn't formulate answers. But the thing that he was grateful of is that she never forgot him. Even if she didn't realize that he was in the room, she always knew who he was.

Sawyer and Kate talked about their families for nearly 2 hours. They stayed sitting in the uncomfortable kitchen chairs, but neither of them wanted to get up anyway. Sawyer looked as if he might start crying. Kate had always had a soft spot for a man who wasn't afraid to show his emotions.

"Sawyer," Kate whispered and stood up. She sat down on the chair next to him and looked at him sadly. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Come here," he nodded. He took her by the hand and pulled her on to his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he began kissing her neck softly. She backed away, still keeping her hands on his neck and looked at him with a soft frown.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"I need this," he answered. "Before I just wanted it…but Kate-I need something to make this all go away. To make-"

"Ok," she nodded. He was almost confused that she would agree to it, but he stood up and started kissing her. She lifted herself up into his arms and wrapped her legs around her. They started kissing deeper and more sensually. The past day and a half when they would kiss this way they would both begin smiling, but this time they didn't. Sawyer carried her, this time into her room. He closed the door with his foot and laid down on top of her on the bed.

"Why did you close the door?" she whispered. "I thought Jack was staying at his moms."

"Habit," he answered softly. They went back to kissing and Kate unbuckled Sawyer's pants. They started shedding clothing quickly and continued to kiss. Kate flipped over on top of him and continued to kiss him slowly and thoroughly. He breathed in deep trying hard not to cry. She kissed his cheek and put her mouth to his ear.

"Hey," she whispered. "It's ok. It's ok James."

"Don't," he said angerly. He flipped back over on top of her and held her down by the shoulders. "Please don't."

He took another deep breath and started kissing her again. He ran his hand down her side and toward her leg. He pulled her closer, and the only thing between them was his boxers and her underwear. She let out a soft breath as he pushed against her. He put his hand on the top of her underwear and was about to pull them off when they heard a knocking at Kate's door.

"Dammit," Sawyer whispered.

"Kate, are you in there?" Jack asked. "I really need to talk to you."

"Yeah," she answered. "Hold on…I'll be out in a minute."

Kate started getting re-dressed and Sawyer looked at her, almost sadly. She leaned toward him and kissed his lips gently. He backed away and nodded silently. Sawyer got completely dressed too. She went to the door and opened it. Sawyer stepped behind Kate and Jack turned bright red.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Jack," Kate said reaching out and taking his hand. "Jack, I'm so sorry."

She wrapped her arms around him and he put his head on her shoulder. She sighed softly and Sawyer walked over to them too. He put his firmly on Jack's shoulder. Jack looked up and sighed.

"I'll leave you two alone," he mumbled.

"Jack," Kate began. "No. please. We'll all talk. I don't think you should be alone right now."

"What about Margo?" Sawyer asked. "Is she ok?"

"She won't talk to me," he shrugged. "The other day me and dad got into a fight. It was bad. We both said things that we didn't really mean, but I guess my dad has been freaking out over the last few days. Every night he goes to the bar and drinks himself under the table. It's my fault. I should have just apologized to him."

"Jack, it's not your job to make your father feel better," Kate told him softly. "You're the son…he should be the one who apologizes to you."

"No," he shook his head. "I'm not a little kid anymore. It's my fault Kate!"

He backed away from Kate's room and went into his own room. Kate looked at Sawyer who was frowning at Jack's door.

"Should we-" Kate began.

"Not this time," he answered. "He just wants to be alone…I think we should give him some space. I think we should pick up where we left off."

"Sawyer," Kate sighed, but she smiled. She stood where she was as Sawyer walked toward her and shut and locked the door. She wrapped her arms around him and he started kissing her neck and face. He lead her over to the bed and laid down with her. They started kissing slowly and passionately. Neither of them even heard the knocking on the door, until the knocking became almost pounding. Sawyer grumbled out loud and got off of Kate. He went to the door and opened it. Jack shook his head and sighed deeply.

"I kinda-" he sighed. "It's stupid, but I decided that I don't want to be alone. I just kinda wanna talk to you Sawyer…is that ok?"

"Sure," he murmured. Kate stayed on the bed and laid back down. Sawyer and Jack left the room and went into the living room.

"I'm sorry I ruined your night," Jack mumbled. "Were you guys sleeping?"

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded.

"You're an awful lair," Jack smirked. "Y'know what the last thing I said to my father was?"

"No," he answered obviously.

"I told him that I hated him, and I never wanted to see him again," he mumbled. "God! What kind of son tells his father that he hates him."

"Well Jack, I never got the chance to hate my father," Sawyer shook his head. "But I'm sure that everyone says things that they don't really mean in the heat of the moment. And another question for you Jack…were you drinking?"

"That's no excuse," he argued. "My dad always used to use that excuse for the crappy things he said. I hated it."

"Yeah well, just because you hated some of the things Christian said or did, it doesn't mean that you hated him. I know that you loved him Jack. And I'm sure he knew too."

"I really don't think he did," he sighed. "And my mom blames me too."

"If your mom blames you then she's a bitch," Sawyer said. Jack looked at him with a loud scoff. "I'm sorry Jack-o, but it's true. You and your mom are supposed to be comforting each other, not blaming each other."

Jack knew he had a point. They ended up staying up until 4:30 in the morning talking. Mostly about memories and the good points of Christian, but every so often a bad story would slip in, and they would laugh, but then they would realize what they were doing. Finally when 4:30 rolled around Jack realized that he should probably go to bed since he had to get up in a few hours for a shift at the hospital. Sawyer kept telling him that he shouldn't go, and that everyone would understand, but Jack insisted that he had to keep busy.

Sawyer went into Kate's room and laid down next to her. She mumbled softly but didn't wake up. Sawyer would have given anything for her to wake up right then, but considering she looked peaceful and beautiful when she slept he didn't want to wake her up. He only wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep.

**A/N: OK...so I know that this isn't as strong as some of my other chapters, but I hope you still like and review!!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed!  
JateSkateFate815-Thanks so much for the review. I wanted there to be remorse for both Jack and Sawyer…I wanted it to bring Sawyer and Jack close again.  
KatieBear-Don't even worry about short reviews or long reviews. I'm just happy that you liked it and reviewed me.  
Ravensfan52-I'm glad you like it. Thanks! : )  
LeifofRohan-Hehe…your review definitely makes me smile. Thank you.  
Veronika-yeah, don't worry, eventually Sawyer and Kate will not be interrupted. It's just way more suspenseful! Thanks so much for the review!**

When Kate woke up she could feel Sawyer's arms tightly around her waist. She smiled to herself and flipped over to face him. She kissed his lips softly and woke him up. He kissed her back and pushed over on top of her. Kate started kissing him harder and faster. She came up for air only enough to pull her shirt over her head. Sawyer was grateful that Kate had decided to sleep in just a t-shirt, and he had slept in only his boxers.

"Hurry," Kate whispered softly. "Before we're interrupted again."

Sawyer chuckled into her ear, and then slowed down, instead of listening to her and quickening his pace. She found it very sexy that he was going so slow, not to mention his soft chucking. He pulled off her underwear and slowed down even more. They moved so slowly that Kate thought that they were almost going backwards. The anticipation was almost unbearable, but she waited. She kissed him and he stopped moving.

"I love you," he said softly. Kate smiled up at him and nodded.

"I love you too James," she whispered.

This time there were no other interruptions. Kate was almost worried about Jack because they hadn't even heard him at all in the bathroom or anywhere else in the house. But she immediately stopped thinking about Jack as Sawyer ran his hand down her back. She breathed in deep and snuggled against his sweaty chest. They stayed in bed all morning until Kate looked over at the clock and noticed that it was 11:30. She started kissing his chest and then moved up to his lips.

"What are you doing?" he mumbled softly, as she woke him up from his dozing off to sleep again.

"I'm making out with you," she whispered. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Not at all," he said softly, and kissed her back. As they kissed the house phone started ringing. Sawyer ignored it completely and mumbled into her mouth. About 4 minutes later there was a soft knock at the door. Kate got up this time because she was more dressed than Sawyer. Jack was standing in front of her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I know you two probably want to be alone, but Sawyer the phone is for you."

"Take a message," Sawyer answered quickly.

"It's important," Jack argued. "It's about Grammy."

Just like Christian was almost a surrogate father for Sawyer…Sawyer's grandma, Jeanie, was also like a grandmother to Jack. When ever Jack would come over to Sawyer's house Grammy Jean would always make sure he had plenty to eat, mostly sugar. But Sawyer's relationship with her was almost closer than mother and son. She took care of him so much better than his own parents even had. Even though Sawyer knew that his mom loved him, he always felt better when he'd go stay with his grandma for the weekend. And it happened a lot when his parents first started fighting all the time.

Sawyer knew that his grandma's health had been going down hill, but to lose Christian and Gram within 24 hours would be way too much for him. Sawyer quickly got out of the bed, taking the sheet with him to cover himself. He ran into the other room to take the call. Kate turned bright red, knowing that Jack would know exactly what had been going on.

"Kate it's ok," Jack said, knowing that Kate was obviously embarrassed. "I knew that when Sawyer started sleeping in your room, that you wouldn't be only sleeping."

"It's just kinda awkward though isn't it?" she asked.

"Maybe a little bit," he nodded. "The only thing is that didn't you already-I mean I know it's none of my damn business, but didn't you already have sex this morning?"

"Why would you think that?" she asked.

"Sorry Kate," he shook his head and started walking away, obviously almost more embarrassed that Kate.

"No," she said chasing after him. "What did you mean by that?"

"I'm sorry," he murmured "I shouldn't have said anything. I should just-"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Maybe you shouldn't have said anything…but you did. What did you mean Jack?"

"I heard you," he sighed deeply. "I was in my room reading, and I could hear you."

He quickly left the area and shut himself in his bedroom. Kate put her hands to her face and let out a soft moan, feeling worse than ever. She walked down the hall to go talk to Sawyer. Sawyer was sitting at the kitchen table and looked up when Kate walked in the room.

"Is everything ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. "She fell. She's alright, but she fell. She broke her ankle. She wants me to come see her. She's been asking for me I guess. So I gotta go."

"Well of course," Kate nodded quickly. "I'll see you when you get home."

She quickly leaned toward him and kissed his lips softly but quickly.

"I want you to come with me," he said, taking a hold of her hand. He rubbed her hand with his thumb and looked at her almost pleadingly. " Will you come please? I want my grandma to meet you."

"Yeah," she answered. "Yeah. I'd love to."

Sawyer walked back down the hall to get dressed and tell Jack they were going to leave. Kate wanted to tell Sawyer about being embarrassed in front of Jack and about him telling her that he had heard them. She wondered which one of them that he had heard.

The car ride to the nursing home was almost dead silent. Kate opened her mouth several times to tell Sawyer about earlier, but every time she thought better of it and closed her mouth again. Sawyer knew that Kate had something on her mind, but at the moment he was way too worried about his grandma. When they got there Sawyer grabbed her gently by the arm and pulled her toward him. He kissed her lips and then backed away.

"I promise, we will talk as soon as I'm done with Grammy ok? We can talk on the car ride home."

"You're amazing," she smiled at him.

"Yeah I know," he smirked.

"No you don't," she shook her head. "And that's what makes you even more amazing."

Sawyer took her by the hand and they walked up to the building. They got checked in and Sawyer lead Kate to his grandma's room. When they walked in the room Sawyer's grandma was laying in a bed with her ankle raised up on a pillow.

"Jamie!" she exclaimed and almost started getting up when he rushed to her side and shook his head. It was the first time in a while that she actually saw him the moment he came in the room.

"Don't get up Gram," he said softly. "You ok?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Jamie you brought your mother…Mary how are you?"

Kate looked at Sawyer slightly confused and then looked back at the old woman. She knew that she had to have just been really confused. She walked over to the bed and smiled.

"Hi," she said gently holding out her hand. "I'm Kate."

"Grammy," Sawyer began softly. "This is the woman of my dreams. It ain't momma. You know that momma and daddy are dead. You know that."

"They left you all alone Jamie?" she said beginning to cry.

"Gram, come on," Sawyer whispered. "It's ok. Come on. I'm so happy Gram."

"You're not Mary?" Gram shook her head and looked at Kate again.

"No," Kate said, with a half smile and half frown. "But I love your grandson. I love James."

"I can tell," the older woman said, wiping her tears away and beginning to smile. She took Kate by the hand. "I can tell by your eyes young lady. What's your name again?"

"Kate," she answered. "I'm Kate."

"You're going to have to tell me every time you come here," Grammy said sweetly. "I hope you don't mind."

"No," she smirked. "I don't mind."

The rest of the visit was good. Grammy asked about Jack, but she couldn't remember what he was going into. She had to ask Sawyer several times what Kate's name was. Also the fact that Sawyer kept calling Kate, Freckles wasn't helping Grammy remember her real name, which was frustrating to the old woman. Finally after they were there for only an hour the nurse came in and told them that it was time for Grammy's physical therapy for her broken ankle.

Kate and Sawyer went back to the car, and Sawyer was in a much better mood. When they reached the car, Sawyer quickly grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her up against the car to kiss her. Kate chuckled softly and shook her head.

"You're so amazing," he whispered. "You are awesome to come with me, and to be so patient with my grandma. I'm surprised you didn't go running out of the room when she thought that you were my mother."

"It's not her fault that she's confused," Kate shrugged.

They got into the car and Sawyer took her by the hand. The car ride wasn't as quiet as it was before, but Kate still hadn't told him about Jack hearing them having sex. When they were almost home Sawyer must have remembered because he turned to her and pulled the car to a slow stop.

"Ok," he said. "Now I know something happened back at the house…so before we get back there, what happened babe?"

"Jack," she chuckled. "He heard us this morning. He heard us having sex."

"Musta been your loud ass moans Freckles," he told her. "You were way louder than me."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "That's what I was afraid of."

"Oh Freckles," he chuckled. "It's fine. Jack will just have to get used to it. I mean…what can I say…you can't help it that I'm the most amazing lover you've ever been with."

"You're such a cocky bastard," she smirked. "But unfortunately you may be right."

"You know I'm right Freckles," he answered and leaned toward her. She smiled at him and let him kiss her. They kissed in the car for a while and then decided to go back home. They went into the house and Jack was sitting on the couch waiting for them.

"Hey," he said softly. "Everything ok? Is Grammy alright?"

"Yeah, she's ok," Sawyer nodded. "So I hear that you heard us-"

"Sawyer shut up," Kate scoffed.

"I just wanted to apologize," Sawyer said, slightly defending himself, but also smirking. "I am sorry Jack. We're being asses. We shouldn't have-"

"Sawyer it's fine," Jack replied. "It's totally-I mean it's my fault."

"Jack, you said you were in your room reading," Kate answered.

"I lied ok?" he shrugged. "I could hear something faintly, but I came out of my room to see what it was."

"Jack," Kate whispered.

"I know it was wrong," he sighed. "I know that I'm a sick, disgusting idiot, but-"

"You wanted to see how loud we could get?" Sawyer interrupted. "Jeez Jack-maybe we will be moving out."

"I don't want you to," he answered. "I don't want to be alone. And I'm going to end up all alone."

Sawyer left the room and went to his own bedroom. Kate crossed her arms and looked at him sadly.

"Jack," she whispered. "I know that you're upset about your dad, and I know that you don't want to be alone, but you're going to be all alone if you don't stop this. You purposely push us away, and then say stuff like that-I'm sorry that this all happened. I'm so sorry about your dad, but maybe Sawyer's right. Maybe we should just leave. It's going to be too hard…for all of us."

"Kate," he whispered and stepped toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him back and could hear him sniffling in her ear. He ran his hands down her back and she took a deep breath and backed away from him. "Wait. Kate-I need-"

"Don't finish that sentence Jack," Kate shook her head. "You and Sawyer are finally cool again. Please just-don't-"

"It was his fault that we got into a fight in the first place Kate," he answered. "He slept with _my_ girlfriend. I call it pay back."

"Well it's called rape when she doesn't want you Jack," Sawyer said appearing in the doorway.

"Sawyer," Kate sighed and shook her head. "Leave him alone-"

"No!" he exclaimed. "I can't believe you're sticking up for him."

"Sawyer he was just talking," she argued back. "He's not really going to have sex with me."

"But he wants to," Sawyer answered.

"No he doesn't," Kate shook her head again. Jack frowned but kept his mouth shut. "Jack tell him that you don't want to have sex with me."

"Do you want me to tell the truth, or do you want me to lie."

"You son of a bitch," Sawyer mumbled.

"Shut up!" Kate screamed loudly.

"Calm down," Sawyer whispered and put an arm around her.

"Something tells me that everything would be completely fine if I had never moved in," she sighed.

"You don't really wish that though," Sawyer said turning toward her and putting his hand against her face. She turned her face toward his hand and sighed softly. Despite thinking that maybe Sawyer and Jack would still be best friends if it weren't for her moving in, she never regretted it for even a minute. It was a hard thing for her to fall in love. She wasn't even entirely sure that she had been in love with her first husband. The one reason why she married Will is because he asked her. She knew that she would never have Tom so it was easier to pretend to be happy with someone else, but now…now everything was different. She had actually fallen in love with Sawyer, and she could see her self getting completely over Tom and marrying Sawyer…and even having children with him. She never pictured herself with kids, when she was with Will.

"No," she answered. "I don't wish that. Of course I'm glad I moved in. I never had any family growing up. I had a weird childhood, and no brothers or sisters…it could get pretty lonely, so I'm so glad I met you…both of you."

Jack nodded and then went into his own room. Kate was actually beginning to get really pissed off at Jack because he acted like he was ok with what had happened. He was acting fine, and even though she did feel bad that he had heard them having sex earlier in the day, she thought he was kind of being a jerk about the whole thing. She knew it would take time, and really hoped that she and Jack could just become great friends again. He was after all like her brother that she never got to have as a kid.

Kate and Sawyer made their way toward Kate's room, but then she moved him into his own room. He looked at her slightly confused, but with a small smile.

"Well," she shrugged. "Maybe since your room isn't directly across from Jack's he won't hear us."

"Doubtful," he mumbled. "You're way too damn loud…our next door neighbors can probably hear you."

"Shut up!" she exclaimed and scoffed, but was still smiling at him. "I'm not that loud. It's not like I do it on purpose. And just for that you get nothing tonight."

"Yeah right," he said, stepping toward her carefully and slowly. "You know you can't resist me."

He opened his mouth again to continue, but she shut him up quickly with her own mouth. He moaned softly and lead them over to the bed. It didn't take long for them to be naked and trying their best to keep it down, only for Jack's sake of course. Sawyer was on top of her looking down at her, and his hair was slightly in his face. Kate reached up and brushed his hair back and then put her hands on his neck. He leaned down again to kiss her and his hair fell back in his face. She chuckled softly up at him knowing that he had done it partially on purpose. Sawyer rolled off of her and she rolled over so her head could rest softly on his shoulder.

"I love you Freckles," he whispered. "I don't think I can ever get tired of saying it."

"Good," she said turning her head to face him. "Because I don't think that I'll get tired of hearing it James. I love you too."

He leaned forward and kissed her again. It was supposed to be just a goodnight kiss, but into another slow and sensuous love making. This time neither of them paid much attention to their volume.

**A/N: So?? Is it still good? I have a few more good ideas, but then after that I might end it, just so that it's not too long, but I also might continue. It would be fun, and ridiculous at the same time if I ended up continuing until Lost came back in Jan. If I did that it would probably be like 150-200 chapters…but I dunno. We shall see.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I hope you like this chapter.**

Kate woke up and rubbed her eyes. Sawyer was still sleeping. She got out of bed and decided that she would go talk to Jack about the previous night. She just wanted everything to be right again. She knocked softly on Jack's door and didn't hear any movement or answer. She turned the door knob slowly and opened his door. She saw that his bed was already made and he must already have left for either work or school. Both Jack and Kate thought that he should take some time off of both to mourn his father, but he didn't seem to want to.

Kate walked back into Sawyer's room and he was just waking up. She walked toward the bed and climbed in next to him. He smiled at her before their lips touched. He ran his hand down her cheek and leaned toward her lips.

"I have to go to work," she told him.

"No you don't," he said softly. "We should stay in bed all morning."

"We did that yesterday," she chuckled. "If I'm going to skip work, I want it to be for a good reason, like we're going to go some where or something."

"Please stay," he pouted.

"No," she chuckled.

She ended up going to work and when she got home Sawyer was sitting at the kitchen table with Jack. It looked like a good sign because at least they were talking. Kate sat down next to Sawyer and almost immediately Jack got up and left the room. Sawyer looked at Kate and shook his head.

"So lemme guess," she sighed. "You guys were just having another stupid argument over me?"

"He asked if we could not be all over each other when he's around," Sawyer answered.

"So he's mad at me for sitting down next to you?" she asked. "I mean I didn't even kiss you or anything…I just sat down."

"I don't know Freckles…he's a weirdo," Sawyer shrugged. "Everything was fine until you walked through the door. We were talking about Christian and everything was just fine."

"Maybe I should just go talk to him then," she sighed.

"No, don't," he shook his head. "Stay here with me. I haven't been with you all day, and now is a time when we can be together."

"Sawyer," she chuckled. "It's not going to take me that long."

"Fine," he mumbled, and frowned like a child. Kate put her hand on his chin and pulled his lips toward hers. She kissed him softly and smiled again.

"I'll be right back," she assured him. She walked down the hall, slightly stomping and knocked on Jack's door.

"I really don't want to talk," he told her. She opened the door anyway and walked over to his desk, where he was sitting. She sat down on the chair by the desk and looked at him with a frown.

"What's the matter?" she asked. "I just got home…I couldn't possibly have done something already to piss you off."

"I'm sorry Kate," he sighed. "I've been such a jerk. I didn't. I'm sorry. You deserve way better from me. I don't know why I get so jealous. It's not like you even did anything just now. It's just going to take some time."

"Jack, I don't know if this is such a good idea," she shook her head. "I mean, me and Sawyer living here with you. It might be too hard for all of us."

"It's only been a couple days though," he answered. "Can we just give it a month?"

"Ok," she nodded.

**2 Months Later**

Throughout the 2 months things got better between all of them. Jack met someone at the hospital. She was becoming a doctor too. They would come home together sometimes and be laughing about something that one of the patients said. All the jealousy that any of them felt disappeared when Jack found someone else. Kate didn't always see eye to eye with Jack's knew girlfriend, but most of the time everything was fine.

Kate and Sawyer became closer than ever. Since Jack found Juliet he was home even less. Sometimes Jack and Juliet would both come back to Jack's house, but a lot of times he would go sleep at her apartment. It didn't really bother Kate or Sawyer too much because that just meant that they could have the house to themselves, but because of that, Jack started drifting apart from them.

Kate came home from work and as soon as she walked through the door Sawyer pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him back. He picked her up and carried her to the couch. Kate put her hand on his chest and pushed him away slightly.

"What if Jack comes home?" she whispered.

"He's not," Sawyer shook his head. "He already called. He's staying at Juliet's tonight."

"I still think it's sick to have sex on this couch," she told him.

"Fine," he mumbled. "Let's go to your room then."

She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him. He started getting up, but she pulled him back down on top of her.

"No," she whispered. "We can stay."

"You just said it was sick to have sex on the couch," he said, slightly confused.

"I changed my mind," she answered. "It's a woman's prerogative."

"Fine by me Freckles," he murmured and started kissing her again. Kate could hear laughing coming from right outside the front door. She pushed Sawyer off of her and he rolled his eyes. Juliet and Jack walked through the door. It was clear that both of them had been drinking. Juliet's face was pink from the alcohol. They all sat there in the dark just looking at each other.

"I thought you were going to Juliet's tonight Jack-o," Sawyer said, breaking the silence.

"We decided to come back here," Jack shrugged. "Gotta problem with that? Because as this is my house, I think you should just-"

"Jack it's fine," Sawyer interrupted before Jack said something he would regret. "I just wondered because you did say that you were going to go to Juliet's."

"Were you two planning on having sex on that couch?" Jack asked.

"No," Sawyer answered.

"Liar," Jack chuckled. "Well too late…me and Juliet already did it there. You two might want to find a different place in the house to have sex."

Kate and Sawyer both stood up and Kate crossed her arms over her chest. Juliet had her arms wrapped around Jack's neck and started kissing him. Jack turned toward her and guided her into his bedroom. Kate let out a soft scoff and then turned back toward Sawyer.

"Did that bother you?" he asked.

"No," she answered quickly. "Why would I care?"

"I dunno Kate," he shrugged. "But you look pretty upset at seeing them kissing."

"I'm upset that they had sex on the couch," she replied.

"Why? We were just going to," he stated. "Were you upset that they had sex on the couch, or are you upset that they had sex in general."

"Why would I care who Jack has sex with?" she asked.

"Dunno," he mumbled. "I'm tired…I'm going to bed."

"Sawyer wait," she said. "What the hell are you trying to get at? You think I'm jealous of Juliet? I could care less. I have you. I don't need Jack…at least not in that capacity."

"Don't lie to me Kate," he responded. "If there's one thing in this world that I hate the most, it's being lied to…so don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying," she sighed. "Sawyer, I don't know why you're getting so upset. I just-"

"Goodnight Kate," he shook his head. "I'm really not in the mood for this tonight. Goodnight. I'll talk to you in the morning."

"So you're not even going to let me sleep in your room?" she asked.

"We need to take a night off from each other," he replied. "Do you think you can handle that? Because if you can't I'm sure Jack would make room in the bed with him and Juliet."

Kate smacked Sawyer hard in the face and went into her own room. She slammed the door hard and climbed into the bed. Sawyer and Kate's beds were still right next to the wall. Kate was so mad that she started moving the bed by herself. It was making a horrible scraping sound on the wood floors, and Kate was sure that she was probably putting scratches in it, but she didn't care. She moved it to almost the middle of the room and laid down. She had a really hard time falling asleep without Sawyer laying next to her. She hadn't slept alone in over 2 months, and she was lonely. And her feet were cold. Sawyer always let her put her cold feet on his legs. It had been an hour and she still wasn't sleeping. She just stared at the ceiling. She heard something at the door, but didn't want to get up. It was a soft tapping. She rolled over in the bed and then she heard the door opening. She didn't bother to turn over because she knew that it would be Sawyer. Part of her wanted to wrap her arms around him and make up with him right then, but the other part was still so mad, so she stayed in the middle of the bed, with her back to the door.

"Ow!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Son of a bitch."

Kate felt him fall over the bed and land on it. She couldn't help but smile slightly to herself. She felt him crawl up the bed and wrap his arms around her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear. "I'm a dumb ass ok? I'm sorry. I just-sometimes I think all of this is too good to be true. Forgive me Freckles?"

"I don't want to have sex with Jack," she told him, without turning over to face him. "I'm not jealous of Juliet. Juliet can have him for all I care. I want you. You're the one I'm in love with James."

"I'm in love with you too Kate," he replied. "That's why it's so scary. I sometimes think that you're going to open those gorgeous green eyes one day and realize that you want to be with Jack."

She flipped toward him and shook her head. "No. I want you Sawyer. I don't want to fight about dumb stuff anymore."

"Do you want to make up?" he asked quietly. She smiled slowly and then nodded. He leaned toward her lips and kissed her. They started kissing, and neither one of them even attempted to move to take off any clothing. When they did Sawyer went first and quickly took off her shirt and then his own. They both started moving faster and made love quickly but lovingly. Both of them could feel the love and heart behind it.

**4 and a Half Weeks Later**

Kate and Sawyer never discussed the aspect of children in their lives. Neither of them thought that they had to since they used protection every time. Kate didn't know how Sawyer felt about it, which totally freaked her out because she was sitting on the floor of the bathroom waiting for the results of 2 different brands of pregnancy tests. She had made a doctor's appointment for the next day just to be sure. She knew that pregnancy tests weren't always accurate. Especially since Juliet was going to be a fertility specialist. Juliet was actually there with her, but sitting on the floor outside of the bathroom.

"Is it time yet?" Kate called.

"Almost," Juliet called back. The truth was that it had only been about 30 seconds, so Kate had another minute and a half, but Juliet knew it would be the longest minute and a half of her life. Kate decided to confide in Juliet about her fears of telling Sawyer because Juliet had gone through a similar experience. She hadn't told Jack or Sawyer yet that she thought she might be pregnant. Juliet knocked softly on the door when it was time.

"Go ahead and look Kate," Juliet answered. Kate stood up and looked at the two pregnancy tests. One was a positive and the other was a negative. Kate came out of the bathroom and shook her head.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered. "One says yes, and the other says no."

"Well Kate," Juliet began. "Coming from personal experience the sooner you tell him the better."

"I don't even know what the results are yet," Kate shook her head. "Shouldn't I wait to know for sure?"

"Well won't he be mad if he finds out that you are and you didn't tell him till now?" Juliet asked. "I mean you love each other…he'll understand."

"I hope he does," she whispered. "But I know nothing about what he feels about it."

"Shouldn't that be something you discuss before you have sex with a guy?" Juliet asked… "I'm sorry. It's really none of my damn business. Of course-I just-"

"You're right," Kate nodded. "I'll tell him tonight. In my own subtle way."

* * *

"Sawyer do you want kids?" Kate asked as they lay in bed together. As soon as Sawyer got home Kate tried to tell him, but Sawyer was more interested in sex. The fact of the matter was, Kate was too, and she thought it would be a good way to put off telling him.

"No," he replied. "Why?"

"I dunno," she whispered. She would have to wait now. She couldn't just tell him right then that she thought she might be pregnant. It would ruin everything. She would wait till the next night…till after she went to the doctor.

The next day at the doctor's office Kate was waiting in the room all alone while the doctor got the results of her blood test. She didn't really need the results. She already knew that the answer was yes. As she sat there by herself she thought of different ways that she could tell Sawyer. She wanted to do it quickly and painlessly, and hopefully he'd be happy. She was so happy. She had always wanted a big family, and the fact that she was pregnant with Sawyer's child made her so happy. She knew it was going to be hard and it would be almost impossible to tell him, but she thought maybe that it would make her a better person. If she could be someone's mother it could turn her into someone wonderful.

Sure enough she had been right. She was pregnant. On her way home from the doctor's office she thought about baby names and about how to tell Sawyer some more. She decided that she would start out by making him a big dinner and she'd tell him over desert. She made all of Sawyer's favorite foods, and started setting the table. Sawyer usually got home from work around 6:30, and right now it was 6:30.

7:00 rolled around and Sawyer still wasn't home. Kate decided to eat without him because she was starving and she was after all eating for two now. She was actually now pretty pissed because even if Sawyer was going to be 5 minutes late he would call. The phone rang and Kate picked up the phone quickly.

"Where are you?" she asked.

"Kate?" Jack's voice said.

"Oh Jack," she stated. "Sorry I thought you were Sawyer. He's not home yet. He was supposed to be here a half an hour ago."

"Kate, he's in the hospital," Jack told her.

"What?" she asked.

"He got into a car accident," Jack continued. "You better get down here…it doesn't look good."

**A/N: Ok so I updated quicker than normal. I hope you all enjoyed my chapter. Please please take a second to review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks to all my great reviewers.  
_JateSkateFate815_-Ch. 12-I do love torturing Jack...lol. But at the same time I really just want Kate and Jack to be great friends. I just saw a video recently that was set to the song "Cool" by Gwen Stefani and that's exactly what I want. I want them to each be with someone else and be cool with each other. As for chapter 13...yes I'm obviously a major skater as well, but I do think that she deserves most of the things he says to her. Like in season 4 when he said "In a week you'll get pissed at Jack and bounce right back to me." I cheered! Even though he totally deserved to be smacked, she totally deserved what he said too. Kate's a biatch sometimes.  
_KatieBear_-As much as I love lots of angst and sadness, I don't think I can kill Sawyer. I've killed him in previous fics, but not often. Actually I hardly ever kill any of the three triangle people, because I don't want any of them to die in the actual show.  
_LeifofRohan_-Hehe...yeah poor Sawyer. He's gotten hurt so much in the actual show...I just couldn't help but add a little more angst and drama.  
_Lizi-_I'm glad that you enjoyed the previous chapter. I hope you like this one too.  
****_Sophie-_Juliet is one of my favorite non-losties, so if I ever have a chance to add her to a fic, I usually do. I love her. I kinda have a horrible feeling that she might die in the next season of the show (I really hope not because she's freaking awesome), but she'll definitely stick around in the fic.  
_LucyGu-_I would have had Kate get more mad at the comment that Sawyer didn't want kids, but part of me thinks that Kate would hold in her feelings. And I also already had one fight in the chapter, so I didn't want to do a second one so soon. Don't worry more skate fighting will ensue...just not yet. :)**

Kate ran into the hospital and ran toward the ER. Jack was sitting in the chairs with his head down. He had blood all over the front of him. Kate could only guess that it was Sawyer's blood. She ran over to him and knelt in front of him. He looked dazed.

"Jack," she said. "Jack, Jack…he's ok right? He's alright Jack right? Please just tell me he's ok."

She put her head down in his lap and he stayed quiet. She was sobbing before he could even formulate an answer. She lifted her head and looked at him.

"Please," she whispered.

"He's not-" Jack mumbled. "He has internal bleeding. It's really bad Kate. And I'm only telling you this to prepare you. Do you want to see him?"

"Of course I do," she sniffed. "Jack-I want to tell him something but I don't want to make things worse on him."

"What are you gonna tell him?" Jack asked.

"God," she whispered and put both hands to the top of her head. She raked her hands through her hair and rubbed her head through her hair. "I was going to tell him tonight. I made him dinner and I was going to tell him that…I'm having a baby. Jack, I'm pregnant. And I want to tell him before he-he's going to die, and I have to tell him before he dies."

"Then go tell him," Jack said softly.

"You don't think it'll be too much?" she asked.

"Who knows," Jack shrugged. "Maybe it'll be the thing to save his life. Maybe he'll find something worth fighting for if you tell him that."

Kate nodded and Jack pointed toward one of the rooms. She slowly walked toward Sawyer's private hospital room. She opened the door slowly and saw that Sawyer looked pretty banged up. He had scrapes all over his face. She gasped softly, and then composed herself

"Kate," he moaned.

"Shh," she said quietly.

She sat down next to his bed and took his hand in hers. He smiled at her weakly and shifted slightly in his place. He moaned again and Kate let out a soft stifled sob.

"Sawyer," she sobbed.

"Hey," he whispered. "It's alright. It doesn't really hurt anymore."

"No," she shook her head. "It's not that. I was mad-I'm so sorry Sawyer. I was mad at you when you didn't come home-I was going to tell you something."

"Well what?" he asked. "I want to know."

"I was going to tell you," she breathed and rubbed her eyes hard. "I'm pregnant. I wanted to tell you last night, but I was scared…but today-I went to the doctor to confirm it. I'm pregnant. You're going to be a daddy."

"No I'm not," he shook his head. "You can't be pregnant…we've been using protection."

"I know," she nodded. "But I am pregnant Sawyer. I'm going to be a mommy, and I can't do it without you so you have to fight Sawyer, you hear me. You have to fight this and come back to me."

She was sobbing again, and Sawyer moved over in his bed for Kate to take a spot next to him. She climbed into the bed next to him and carefully wrapped her arms around him. She cried softly. Sawyer's machines started beeping and one of the nurses came into the room. She almost acted as if Kate wasn't even there and started checking his vitals.

"What's happening?" Kate asked.

"Ma'am you're going to have to leave," the nurse answered. "Malcolm can you take her out to the chairs?"

4 more doctors and nurses walked into the room and a bigger man walked in and took Kate gently by the wrist. She started fighting and trying to go back into the room, but the man was too strong and kept her right where she was. She continued to fight and kick and scream as he practically carried her back to the chairs. When he got there he set her down and sighed softly.

"Ma'am you need to stay here," he sighed. "We're going to help him."

"He's going to die isn't he?" Kate asked.

"I don't know," he whispered. "But you need to let us do our job."

Kate started sobbing again and she fell to her knees. Jack had only been watching up till this point. He ran to her side and put his hand on her shoulder.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"The machines," Kate breathed in deep, but didn't seem to be catching her breath. "They started beeping…the doctors kicked me out. Jack-he's going-"

"Shh," he said softly. "Kate it's not good for the baby. Calm down."

"No!" she screamed. "I can't do this without him! I don't want to do this without him! I don't care if he doesn't want a baby…I don't want to do this alone."

"Kate, you'll never have to do anything alone," he told her and brushed his hand over her cheek. "I will help you. If Sawyer-but he's not going to…Kate they're going to save him."

"You're just telling me that to make me calm down," she said starting to panic all over again.

"Kate," he whispered. "Shh."

He tried to wrap his arms around her, but she pushed him away. She quickly stood up and ran back to the room. The machines were beeping normally and there was only one nurse left in the room. Kate walked over to the bed and Sawyer was sleeping. She knew he was actually probably unconscious but it made her feel better if she just told herself that he was sleeping.

"Is he ok?" Kate said quietly. The nurse spun quickly toward Kate, obviously startled by Kate's voice.

"You shouldn't be here ma'am," the nurse told her.

"Stop calling me ma'am," Kate scoffed. "It's really condescending. I need to get him out of here. When can I take him home."

"I'm not sure," she sighed, starting to be come more compassionate and patient toward Kate. "I'm prepping him for surgery right now."

"Surgery?" Kate asked.

"He has a perforated lung, and a lot of internal injuries," she stated. "We're taking him in for emergency surgery."

"But he's going to be alright, right?" she questioned. "He'll be ok?"

"It's a risky surgery," the nurse answered. "We were actually going to wait till tomorrow, to wait till he's more stable, but we have to do it tonight or he will die."

"OK," she breathed. "Where can I wait for him?"

"You're going to stay here all night?" the nurse asked. "It's going to be a long surgery. Probably around 10 hours."

"I don't care!" Kate yelled. "I'm staying here. I can't sleep without him laying next to me."

"Ok," the nurse nodded. "Follow me."

The nurse started pushing the bed and a second nurse came in and took the other end of the bed. Kate followed them down the hall and toward the elevators. Jack noticed her just in time to see the doors to the elevator close. He quickly stood up and began walking up the steps.

By the time he got up the stairs he found Kate sitting in a corner. Jack walked toward her and sat down in the chair next to her. She turned her head toward his shoulder and let out a soft sob. Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He ran his hand down her shoulder. Every so often someone would rush past them and Kate would quickly raise her head to see what was going on. One of the doctors came out from behind the swinging double doors. His hospital scrubs were covered in blood. Kate quickly stood up.

"Is he ok?" Kate asked.

"Who?" the doctor asked.

"James Ford!" she screamed.

"He's still on the operating table. Ma'am we will keep you updated," he told her.

"I want to know what's going on," she said calmly. "Please…just tell me what I should prepare for. I want to know if the father of my child will ever see him be born. I want to know if I'm going to have to raise my baby by myself."

"He's in very bad shape," the doctor said quietly. "His lung is perforated, and some cracked ribs. He will need extensive surgery, and probably more than one."

"I feel sick," she stated softly. Before the doctor could recommend for Kate to sit down she collapsed against him. The doctor caught her and helped her to the floor. Kate groaned softly and closed her eyes. Jack rushed to where the doctor started laying her down. He felt her pulse and then looked up at Jack. Jack could see Kate's chest rising and falling and he knew that she was ok. He picked her up and went to carry her to a bed. When he picked her up he noticed a small pool of blood where Kate was laying. He looked at Kate in his arms and saw blood on her pants. He gasped softly and carried her into an empty room. The doctor who witnessed Kate collapsing started working.

"She's pregnant," Jack said softly.

"OK," the doctor whispered. "Step outside and I'm going to do everything I can to save the baby."

* * *

Kate opened her eyes and was in a hospital bed. She was in a hospital gown and had an IV in her hand. She looked around the room and then remembered fainting. She wasn't sure why she would be in a hospital gown for just fainting. She sat up in her bed and tried to get up, but as soon as she did Jack walked through the door and rushed to her side.

"Don't get up," he whispered.

"Jack," she shook her head. "I have to get to Sawyer. Sawyer!"

"He's still in surgery Kate," Jack said softly and ran his hand across her cheek. "He's gonna be ok."

"Why am I in a hospital gown?" she asked. "Where are my clothes?"

"Kate I have to tell you something," he whispered.

"Jack," she frowned. "What happened?"

"When you collapsed," he started. "Kate you lost the baby. I'm so sorry."

"Why?" she sobbed. "Why did I lose the baby Jack? It's all my fault. I should have stayed calm. I should have listening to you. It's all my fault."

"No," he sighed and shook his head. "No. It's not your fault Kate. These things-"

"No!" she yelled. "These things don't just happen Jack! I want to see Sawyer!"

"Ms. Austen," a doctor came into the room and looked at her with a slight smile. "James is out of surgery. He's in recovery."

"Can I see him?" she asked.

"Maybe in a couple hours."

"Do you need anything?" Jack asked.

"I am sorta hungry," she answered.

"OK," he nodded. "I'll go get you some food. I'll be right back."

Kate rolled over in her bed. And although she heard him, she wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone. She sobbed softly and wrapped her arms around her body. She put her hands to her uterus and let out a loud wail. AShe was being really loud but she didn't care. She knew that she had wanted the baby, but she didn't know how badly until she realized it was gone. She felt a hand on her back and quickly stopped sobbing and flipped toward the person.

"Hey Freckles," he whispered softly. She gasped softly and wiped her face off.

"Sawyer," she said sitting up. He was sitting in a wheelchair and grabbed hold of her hand. She took another deep breath and wiped her cheeks off again. She couldn't stop crying.

"W-what are you-how did you?" she asked.

"I told them that they better let me come see you, and I refused to rest till I got to see your face," he told her. "Now whatchu doing in this here bed?"

"Sawyer," she sobbed.

"What happened?" he asked. "Are you ok?"

"I am," she answered. "But the baby-"

"I kinda remember that," he sighed. "I thought it was a dream. You're pregnant. And you're scared that I won't want the baby? Freckles, we'll deal with it. We'll become parents and we'll go buy a bunch of crap for a nursery. Maybe your room can-"

Before Sawyer could continue any further Kate started crying harder. He looked at her slightly confused and rubbed his hand against her cheek. She continued to cry and then sat up.

"There is no baby Sawyer," she sniffled, forcing herself to stop crying. "I'm-Sawyer, I lost the baby."

"Kate," he whispered, he touched her face softly and ran his hand over her eyes . "Kate, I'm sorry. II'm so sorry. I should have been here for you. I'm-are you alright darlin'?"

"No," she sobbed. He stood up painfully and climbed into bed next to her. She put her head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. He groaned softly as he moved his arms around her and he felt his stitches stretching.

"What is going on in here?" a nurse exclaimed. "James, I said 5 minutes and no funny business."

The nurse then noticed that Kate was crying quite hard and she nodded. She walked toward Sawyer and helped him into his wheelchair.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Ford."

"Ms. Austen," Kate mumbled. "We're not married. He's not my husband."

"You told me that she was your wife," the nurse said, scolding Sawyer slightly.

"I never said wife," he answered. "I said she was my everything."

Kate's frown quickly turned into a smile and she sat up quickly. She got out of the bed and wrapped her arms around Sawyer's neck. He let out another pained moan and she backed away and looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"I love you Kate," he told her, and stroked her cheek softly.

"I love you too Sawyer," she stated and kissed his lips gently.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Wow...thanks so much to all my loyal reviewers. I updated as soon as I could. I hope you enjoy.**

It had been 2 weeks. Sawyer was finally coming home. The doctor was wrong and Sawyer didn't have to have any more operations. Kate spent most of her time, during the 2 weeks, up at the hospital. She was still devastated that she lost the baby, but she loved Sawyer so much and she knew that they would help each other. They were sitting at home as a family. Sawyer sat down next to Kate and intertwined his fingers in hers Kate thought that maybe it would be uncomfortable for Jack, but he didn't seem to mind. There was a knock at the door and Jack immediately offered to answer it. Juliet was standing in front of him. She wrapped her arms around him and took a deep breath.

"Hey," he half chuckled. "What's going on? Why are you so-"

"I need to talk to you," she whispered. "Hey! Sawyer! You're home…how are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," he nodded and smiled. "I'm much better now that I'm home. I missed my big comfy bed…and the woman in it."

"Well I know that she missed you too," Juliet smiled. "She's been wanting you back here just as badly as you've been wanting to come back"

Juliet and Jack walked back to Jack's room. Jack pulled up a chair for Juliet to sit and she looked at her feet. Jack looked at her almost concerned. She stood up from her chair and started walking around the room, which was only making him even more nervous. He stood up and stopped her from walking around the room.

"Jules," he whispered. "What's wrong?"

"We have to break up," she told him. "Goodbye."

"What?" he asked. "No. You don't mean that. What the hell are you saying that for?"

"I don't love you anymore," she answered, she started crying softly.

"I don't believe you," he shook his head. "If you don't love me, then why are you shaking? Why are you crying? This should be easy for you."

"Because it's hard for me to say this to you," she sighed. "I don't ever want to see you again."

"NO!" he yelled and grabbed her by the arm. "Look at yourself. What the hell is going on?"

"Jack, he'll kill you," she sobbed. "He found me, and he'll kill you."

"Who?" he asked.

"Ben,"

* * *

"Well now that they're gone," Sawyer said. "I say…it's been 2 agonizingly slow weeks Freckles."

Sawyer turned toward Kate and ran his hand over her face. She smiled softly and put her forehead against his. He wrapped his arms around her and then stood up. She followed him and they walked together toward their bedroom. She took him by the hand and guided him to the bed. He sat down and then she stopped.

"What are you stoppin' for?" he asked. He pulled her toward him again and kissed her lips. She kissed him back and put her hands on the sides of his face. He pulled her down on top of him and put his hands up the back of her shirt. She sat up and stopped again.

"Freckles," he whispered. "What's the matter? Don't you want to? I mean it's been over 2 weeks."

"Sawyer," she began. "Of course I want to. But the doctor said-"

"I don't care what the doctor said," he shook his head.

"I love you," she said softly and put her hands on his cheeks again.

"I love you too," he mumbled. "Kate-"

He sighed deeply and then sat up too. He shook his head and put his hand on the back of her neck. She leaned toward him slightly, but much to her surprise he backed away. He ran his hand down her neck and down her arm. She smiled at him and chuckled softly.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"About what?" she said softly.

"I-it's all my fault," he shook his head.

"What's all your fault James?" she asked looking at him sadly. "What are you talking about?"

"I should have told you-that night when you asked if I wanted kids…I should have told you that I would have as many kids as you wanted," he sighed. "I shouldn't have made you scared to tell me you were pregnant."

"But it's not your fault that I lost the baby Sawyer," she responded.

"Kate, I know that we both had crappy childhoods. We both went through hell and back, and neither of us really had a real family…I mean sure I had the Shephard's, but I always kinda felt like an outsider with them…mainly because I was, but I was just-I've always wanted a family. A real family. Someone I could take care of. My daddy didn't take care of me and my momma…and I don't want to be like that."

"Then you won't," she whispered. "And I seem to recall, right before you found out that I lost the baby…you told me that you were going to help me and we'd go shopping together for baby stuff. Even though I know you weren't exactly excited about it…you pretended to be. So it makes me feel so good to be with you Sawyer. It makes me feel better than good Sawyer. I love you so much, and I feel so safe and beautiful."

"Freckles, you are beautiful," he replied quietly.

"Well anyway," she sighed. "I know that you weren't happy when I told you I was pregnant. I saw the look on your face. And it wasn't fair that I told you when you were laying in a hospital bed practically dying, but I know that you don't want kids, so maybe it's a good thing I lost the baby."

"Hush," he shook his head. "Freckles, don't even think that. Ok…so maybe I wasn't exactly happy when you told me-but I did need a little time to process it…and like you said I was in some pain…I kinda thought I dreamt it, until I saw you in the hospital bed. Anyway…don't you ever think it was better that you lost the baby. That baby was both of us, so…we know that it would have probably been pretty screwed up, but that being said…it also would have been a helluva great looking baby."

"Well," she smiled. "I guess I won't argue with you there. D-do you think-never mind it's stupid."

"What?" he asked. "I hate when a person starts to ask a question or say something and then they stop. So what were you gonna say Freckles."

"Nothing," she shook her head. "It's not important. I just want to spend the rest of the night looking at you. I don't even need sex when I'm with you Sawyer. I want to prove it to you and to myself that this relationship is based on more than just great sex."

"Kate," he started, and he put his hand against her cheek. "Y'know how I went to see my Grammy today? And how you weren't allowed to come?"

"Yeah," she nodded. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. She knew before he opened it what was inside, but she still couldn't believe it. She felt a large lump in her throat as he opened the box and pulled out a diamond ring.

"Grammy always told me that when I found the right woman I should come see her," he mumbled…he always mumbled when he was nervous. "She always wanted to give me her engagement ring to give to my wife."

"James," she half gasped.

"I love you Kate," he said pushing her hair out of her face and wiping the tears that had made their way to the surface. "So? Will you?"

"Yes," she nodded, smiling wider and letting more tears fall. He slipped the ring on her finger and she wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her into a kiss and they both laid back down. He kissed her softly and slowly lifted her shirt.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I don't think this is such a good idea. You had major surgery."

"I don't care," he shook his head and pushed her over. He hovered over her and kissed her lips quickly. "I am not going to let you stop us tonight. We just got engaged."

"I know but-"

"Shh," he whispered. "No 'buts'. I love you…and I'm pretty sure that you love me too so I know that you won't let anything bad happen…you'll be careful? And the doctor said to take it easy…he didn't tell me no sex. He just said take it easy…we can be slow and cautious right?"

* * *

"Who the hell is Ben?" Jack asked. "What are you talking about? Were you married or something? Is he-"

"He's just a guy," she sniffled. "He's a guy who thinks that he can tell me what to do. He's the reason why I became a doctor Jack. He reminds me of it al the time that I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for him. He basically paid for me to go to med school."

"Just because the guy has money doesn't mean that he can just tell you who to love," Jack argued.

"Jack, please," she half sobbed. "I don't want you to get hurt. He's not going to leave you alone until he's torn us apart. And I don't want anything to happen to you. Jack I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered. "So don't worry. Nothing will happen to you or me…not while I'm here. I'm not going anywhere Jules."

He leaned toward her and kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back and then shook her head.

"Jack I can't risk you," she whispered.

"It's not risking anything," he shook his head. "Juliet, there's no point to any of it if we can't be together. We can fight this guy-"

"No," she sighed. "Jack you don't understand. You don't know him. He's crazy. And he's powerful. He will do everything he can to keep us apart. My last boyfriend mysteriously ended up dead. You-please don't make me go through that again."

"So instead your solution is to never see me again?" he asked. "That's crap and you know it. So either I die and you never see me again or we break up and you never see me again? I really hate this Juliet. I really hate it. Please-just stay…we'll figure it all out. He doesn't know where I live just yet…so you are just gonna have to stay right here with me. This Ben guy won't do anything to you or to me. You can't spend the rest of your life hiding from this guy. So how about you just stay here?"

"I can see that you're not going to take no for an answer," she smirked slightly. "Do you really love me that much? I mean we've only known each other for 2 months."

"And I'm not ready to have it be over yet," he answered. "We'll figure it out."

"If something happens to you," she sighed. "I'll never forgive myself."

"It won't," he shook his head.

* * *

"I don't know if I can be careful," she whispered. "I love you. I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not gonna-" he started.

"Not tonight," she argued. "We can wait one more week so that you can heal more."

She kissed him and then wrapped her arms around him. She cuddled against his chest and he took a deep breath. He kissed her cheek, but didn't press the issue any further. The truth was that he wasn't sure how gentle he could be either. She saw his scar from the operation and ran her fingers over it gently. He shifted and let out a sharp but soft breath.

"Sorry," she gasped and got off his chest.

"It's ok," he murmured. "It's just still a little sensitive. But get yourself over here."

She cuddled back against him and looked at her ring. Sawyer took her hand in his and looked at the ring too. Earlier in the day Sawyer's grandma was so happy to give him the ring, and she cried. Sawyer wanted to get married as soon as possible so his grandma could be there. But he wasn't going to bring that up to Kate just yet. He pulled her toward him and kissed her lips.

"Do you like your ring?" he asked softly.

"Nope," she shook her head. "I hate it."

"Ok," he replied and took her finger. He started pulling her ring off and she quickly pulled her hand away. He sat up and followed her trying to get at her hand again.

"I'm kidding!" she exclaimed. "I love it."

"Too late," he answered. "Give it back to me, and I'll tell my 93 year old grandmother that you hate her ring."

"NO!" she yelled and smiled widely. "I love it Sawyer. I don't ever want to be without you. And I think the sooner we get married…the better."

"Really?" he asked, slightly confused. "Why?"

"Because," she shrugged. "Why wait? We can plan a fast wedding. I don't need a big wedding. It's not really my thing. I don't really wear dresses, and-I just never really pictured myself having a huge wedding."

"If you're sure," he responded. "I don't want to-I mean, it was just an idea, we don't even have to get married-"

"Stop," she shook her head. "Sawyer…I know that this is fast, we've only known each other for like 6 months, and I know that you were nervous as hell when you asked me…but I said yes for a reason. Sawyer I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone. I mean I've been in love before, but never like this. This is just head over heels, crazy ass, love. I mean I haven't slept in 2 weeks. I mean I've fallen asleep I guess, but I haven't had a good nights sleep the entire time you were in the hospital."

"Me neither," he answered. "I missed everything about sleeping in this house. The bed, you, and even your snoring."

"Shut up," she scoffed softly. "It's not snoring. It's heavy breathing. And you're acting like you're the most quiet sleeper…you snore too, and you grind your teeth."

"Kate," he started, obviously trying to change the subject. "If we're going to get married we should probably talk about what our life is going to be like. I mean are we just gonna stay here the rest of our life, or will we move out?"

"I dunno," she whispered. "But I have a question."

"Ask away," he answered.

"Will you ever want to have kids with me?" she asked quietly.

"If you want to," he replied. "And if you want to wait then we can have a great time practicing."

"I always wanted a big family," she said. "Growing up with no siblings, and barely any parents really screwed me up big time. I always wanted to have at least 2 kids…but more would be better. But I don't know if I can even have kids. I've had 3 miscarriages in my life."

"3?" he asked.

"What if I can't have kids?" she asked.

"Baby," he started. "We'll deal with that when we get there. I mean we'll go to the doctor and see and if you can't…we'll adopt."

"Ok," she sobbed.

"We don't even know anything yet," he said with a small smile. "It's going to be ok. We'll figure it out. I won't let anything happen to you."

* * *

"I won't let anything happen to you Jules," Jack whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and they laid down on the bed.

"Ok," she whispered and kissed his lips. "I know that I said we should wait…but I'm ready now. I want to make love to you."

Jack kissed her softly and rolled over on top of her. They made love slowly and carefully.

* * *

"I love you Freckles," Sawyer said softly. "I'm sorry that you've had to go through so much these past 2 weeks, but it'll get better, I promise. And we'll have babies…I promise we'll try again."

"Screw it," she answered. "I know we probably should wait, but I don't even care anymore. You're right. We can be gentle and we've waited long enough."

She flipped over on top of him and carefully removed her nightgown. She slowly kissed him and Sawyer felt no pain, only pleasure.

**A/N: Ok...so I hope that the flipping back and forth between Skate and Jacket wasn't too confusing. I hope that everyone liked it...please pretty please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

Sawyer woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking, or rather burning. He chuckled softly to himself, and then noticed that his chest was sore from the previous night. A tiny part of him thought that maybe it wasn't a great idea for them to have sex the previous night, but then he quickly pushed that thought from his mind. He got out of the bed and walked into the kitchen. Kate was standing at the stove trying to salvage what was left of the breakfast. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her.

"Mornin'," he whispered in her ear. "Whachu doing?"

"Trying to make you breakfast," she answered and turned toward him. "Why is it that I can make anything, except pancakes. I always burn them."

"I like burned pancakes," he smiled at her. He lifted her up on the counter and kissed her. She kissed him back and ran her hands through his hair. He deepened the kiss further and he pushed her night gown up over her legs. She let out a soft giggle, and slid off the counter.

"I think you should go back to bed," she whispered. "I'll finish making breakfast."

"If you don't burn the kitchen down first," he answered, kissing her again. She put her hands on the back of his neck and kissed him back. They both heard throats clearing from behind them. Kate backed away and smiled at Sawyer before turning around. Jack and Juliet were standing in front of them. Kate let out a soft chuckle and rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand.

"Hi," she said.

"We smelled breakfast burnin-," Jack said softly, and then stopped mid sentence. "What's that?"

He stepped toward her and took her hand gently and looked at her ring. She smiled again and showed her ring to Jack more carefully.

"We got engaged," she stated. "He asked me last night."

"Congratulations Kate," Jack said and he pulled her into a hug. Kate looked at Juliet and Juliet was beaming. Juliet hugged her next and congratulated her softly. Kate almost thought that Juliet seemed happier than she did. She knew that it was partially because Juliet was always sort of jealous of the attention that Jack gave to Kate.

"Your ring is gorgeous," Juliet said, taking Kate's hand and examining the ring.

"I know," Kate smiled. "Isn't it? It's Sawyer's grandma's."

Sawyer put his arm around Kate's shoulder and pulled her closer. Jack looked at Juliet and took her by the hand.

"Why don't we leave them alone?" he smirked. "I think they probably would much prefer us to leave."

"No," Kate shook her head. "I just made breakfast…you guys should stay."

"Aw, what'd you do that for Freckles?" Sawyer asked.

"Because," she answered. "They deserve some of my burned pancakes too."

"Why don't we just go out?" Jack asked sniffing the air. "My treat? Like a celebratory breakfast?"

"I've already told Freckles here, that I love burned pancakes."

"Thanks Sawyer," Kate chuckled. "But I say we take Jack up on his offer to buy us breakfast."

"No," he pouted. "I like the first idea…Jack-o and Juliet leavin'. I like that better."

"Oh you big baby," Kate shook her head. "We have the rest our lives to be alone. Let's all go out for breakfast. Please?"

They were sitting at the restaurant and waiting for their food. It seemed to be taking forever. Sawyer hand his fingers intertwined with Kate's. Jack was staring at the ring on Kate's finger. Kate saw him looking at it a couple times, but each time she noticed it Jack would start talking about a different topic.

"What did you mean alone?" Jack asked.

"Huh?" Kate asked. Sawyer and Juliet both looked confused too. "Jack, what are you talking-"

"You said-" he started. "Back at the house, you said that you have the rest of your lives to be alone. What did you mean? You're not moving out are you? I mean-you're going to stay at the house once you get married."

"Jack," Kate began. "We can't stay here and mooch the rest of our lives."

"It's not mooching when you pay rent," Jack argued. "No…you guys can't leave. We're all friends and we're-I don't want you guys to leave."

"It's all good Doc," Sawyer shook his head. "We ain't leaving yet."

"I just don't want you guys to move out," he shrugged. "I don't want to be alone."

"Jack you won't be alone," Juliet said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Jack…I thought-God, I thought last night meant something!"

"It did," he answered quickly and stepping toward her. "Of course it did Jules. It meant everything. I love you-"

"But you're in love with Kate," she scoffed.

"No," he shook his head. "No I'm not. I just-"

"You're a horrible liar," Juliet replied. "I have to get out of here."

"Juliet!" Jack exclaimed. She got up from the table and started walking out of the restaurant. Jack quickly went after her and they made their way outside to continue the argument. Jack took her firmly by the arm and pulled her toward himself.

"Wait!" he exclaimed.

"Why should I?" she half sobbed. "I gave-Jack I told you that I couldn't get hurt again…and you told me you'd protect me…but if you're in love with Kate, then I can't-"

"Jules, I'm not-"

"Yes you are," she interrupted. "Today when I saw her ring…I don't think I could have felt more relief in that moment ever. I knew that she was going to marry Sawyer and I knew that-I knew you wouldn't ever be with her…but you are aren't you? You're going to be with her the rest of your life."

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "No I'm not-"

"Not physically," she scoffed. "But every time we're together…you'll be thinking of her. You're going to be wanting her until the day you die."

"No!" he yelled. "Juliet-I'm not in love with her. Juliet I don't love her. I promise…I love you. You're who I love. I just-"

"You don't want to be left alone?" she asked. "Well-then maybe I'll move in when they move out."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Look-it's just weird…I mean-when Kate first moved in here, I liked her. I mean we got to know each other…but she just got to know Sawyer quicker. It's just how it happened. I can't do anything to stop how they feel about each other. But when they first-I felt almost like I was losing my best friend. Now Sawyer and Kate are always attached at the hip. I haven't had a guys night with Sawyer in a long time. Kate always tags along. And it's not her fault or his fault…that's just how it all happened. I'm just not ready for my best friend to move out."

"I just don't get it Jack," Juliet shrugged. "Aren't I enough for you?"

"Yes," he answered. "Yes…of course you are. I'm sorry. I just-it's weird. I knew that they loved each other…I guess I just wasn't aware of how serious it was till right now."

"Jules," a voice said from behind them. "Good to see that you didn't go into hiding. Let's go."

"No," she said turning toward the man. "You can't control me anymore Ben. I'm done. I'm moving in with my new boyfriend. I'm in love with him. So back off!"

"You must not remember my power Juliet," he scoffed. "Do you know what I can do to you?"

He turned toward Jack and Jack shook his head and let out a soft scoff.

"You can't touch me," Jack answered. "Juliet go back in side."

"You gonna let him talk to you that way Jules?" Ben asked. "Because I seem to remember that you don't like being told what to do."

"Leave her alone," Jack said stepping threateningly toward Ben.

"Do you even know who I am?" Ben asked. "Because I can kill without even flinching."

"You're not going to kill me," Jack shook his head. "Because if you kill me…then Juliet will hate you forever. You need to get over it and stop stalking her."

"She's my wife Jack," Ben responded. "I think I have every right to tell my wife to come home."

Ben reached back and punched Jack hard in the nose. Jack bent over and grabbed his nose with his hands. Ben grabbed Juliet's arm and dragged her away while Jack was holding his face in his hands. He stood back up and started chasing them, but it was too late. Ben pushed Juliet into a near by car and drove off. Jack ran back into the restaurant and tossed some money down on the table.

"We gotta go," he answered quickly as Sawyer and Kate looked at him questioningly.

"What?" Kate asked. "We haven't even gotten our food yet."

"He took her!" Jack exclaimed. "Ben took Juliet."

"Who's Ben?" Sawyer asked.

"There's no time. If you two wanna stay and eat some breakfast while my girlfriend is being kidnapped, be my guest, otherwise lets go."

Sawyer and Kate both stood up and followed Jack out to the car. They were barely in the car when Jack tore out of the parking lot. He started driving fast. At first he followed Ben's tire marks, but that only lasted a couple yards, and then there was nothing. Jack was mad at himself for not going after them immediately instead of going back inside for Kate and Sawyer.

Kate was almost scared at Jack's actions. Sawyer could feel her getting tense sitting next to him and he took her by the hand to give her some semblance of comfort. It must have worked at least somewhat because she looked over at him and smiled. Although it was more of a nervous smile than a comforted smile, but it still made them both feel a little better.

"Jack, you mind explainin' what the hell is going on?" Sawyer asked.

"He took her!" Jack yelled.

"Yeah," Sawyer scoffed. "Got that part Jack. You wanna tell us who Ben is?"

"I don't even really know," Jack sighed. He slammed his hands against the steering wheel, in a frustrated gesture and let out a grunt. "Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit!"

"Jack," Kate whispered. "Calm-"

"No!" he yelled. "I don't even know where to start Kate! And it's all my fault!"

"Doc," Sawyer began.

"Shut up Sawyer," Jack scoffed. "What would you do if it were Kate?"

"I'd be doing the same damn thing," he sighed. "But Jack, we have no idea even where to begin. Or what happened. Let's start with some questions, how is it your fault?"

Jack pulled to the side of the road and sighed deeply. He looked back to the back seat where Kate and Sawyer were sitting. Jack tossed his head back and almost looked as if he was rolling his eyes.

"I'm-if I hadn't reacted like that then Juliet never would have left the restaurant. That Ben guy wouldn't have taken her out of the restaurant because it would have caused a scene."

"Why did you get so upset over the prospect of us leaving?" Kate asked. "I mean even if I hadn't fallen in love with Sawyer, I don't think I would have lived at your house the rest of my life."

"Why not?" Jack almost frowned.

"Don't you want your own life too?" she asked. "I mean I would think once you met the woman you were going to marry and once you started having kids…you'd want to be alone too. Why would you want us hanging around?"

"Sawyer and I have lived together now for 5 years," he mumbled. "Before that we practically lived at each other's houses anyway. It's just going to be weird not living with him anymore."

"Jack, just because we're not going to be living with you, it doesn't mean that we'll never see each other," Kate said softly. "I mean we'll still hang out all the time."

"We barely hang out now Kate," he scoffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"It means, that we haven't had a guys night…just me and Sawyer, in a long ass time," he answered.

"Jack back off," Sawyer said, this time getting angry. "You're never home anyway. You're always at the hospital, and I know it's been your dream since you were a kid to follow in daddy Shephard's footsteps, but as I recall you used to get pissed because your dad was never around. You're never home Jack. I don't see how we can have a guy's night when you're never home."

"I understand that you too fell in love," he sighed. "I don't want to come in between you…it's the last thing I want…but-I just miss my best friend."

"Are you a girl?" Kate asked. "Come on Jack! All you have to do is say 'Hey, Sawyer, why don't we go out to the bar tonight…no girls allowed type deal. I'll understand."

"Yeah," Jack mumbled. "Maybe, but-the times that Sawyer and I have had a couple minutes alone to talk…all he can talk about is you. I have to go find Juliet."

Jack put the car back into drive and Kate and Sawyer both let out heavy sighs. Neither of them could understand why he was acting this way, and it was starting to bother them both.

"But Jack," Sawyer started. "You don't even know where to look."

"You don't want to come?" Jack asked. "Then get out."

He unlocked the doors and waited. Neither Sawyer or Kate moved, and Jack still waited.

"Both of you," he sighed. "Get out. I just want to be alone."

"Make up your mind," Sawyer answered. "You want to be alone, or you want us to stay living with you because you don't want to be alone."

"Fine," Jack sighed again. "We'll go home…maybe there's a way that she could have gotten away. I guess I'll go home and wait."

The rest of the car ride was an awkward silence. When they got back home Sawyer went into the bedroom, complaining that he didn't feel good. Kate decided that she was going to talk to Jack first, and then she would go into the bedroom and see how Sawyer was doing.

"Jack," she whispered.

"Don't Kate," he mumbled.

"Jack what's going on?" she asked. "I know something is wrong."

"Juliet is gon-" he started.

"No," she interrupted. "It's something else. Jack, I don't get it. Why are you so freaked out over me and Sawyer leaving? And I don't buy it that you're going to miss Sawyer too much. Come on…what's really going on? I think you owe me at least that much…tell the truth. You really are in love with me aren't you? That's what all of this is about. You thought maybe you still had a chance, and then you saw my ring and you saw how happy I am. You're-"

"I'm in love with him ok?" he sighed.

**A/N: Hehe. OK so I was planning to do this for some time now…I got a couple of reviews a while ago that some people wanted some Jawyer, but I wanted to wait. So what do you think? Please please review!!**


	17. Chapter 17

_"I'm in love with him ok," he sighed. "Not everything is about you Kate."_

Kate stared at Jack with her mouth wide opened. His words reverberated in her head. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was sure that he was only saying that to shock her, and boy did it work. She shook her head and let out a soft chuckle.

"Good one," she chuckle. "Nice cover."

"I'm not-" he sighed and shook his head. "I-I never-I didn't know the way I felt that till he fell in love with you. Sawyer…he's been my best friend since we were-I mean you know that part, but I-when he started talking about you constantly all I could feel was jealousy. It sounds dumb, but-I started feeling jealous of you. You got to spend all the time I couldn't. We used to have all the inside jokes, and now you do."

"Jack," she started.

"I'm not-I didn't think at least," he mumbled. "I love Juliet…I do…but with Sawyer it's just-it's different. He's my best friend."

"You're not in love with him," she whispered. "You just said it…he's your best friend. You're not in love with him. You just miss the closeness you used to have. You can't be in love with him."

"I can't do this with you right now," he replied. "Go on and see how he's doing. I can't-I just need to clear my head. I'm really confused."

Kate let out a soft sigh and watched as Jack walked down the hall. Kate walked down the hall too and went into Sawyer's room. She knew that it would be the biggest mistake to tell Sawyer what she just heard from Jack. Sawyer would freak out if he ever found out. She didn't want to ruin their friendship. She went into the room and Sawyer propped himself up on his elbows.

"There's my girl," he whispered.

"Hey," she smiled. She was definitely feeling a little awkward about seeing Sawyer and being called 'his girl'. Normally she would just blush and kiss him. Sawyer could tell something was wrong.

"Alright," he sighed. "Spill…what did Jack say?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "It was nothing."

"Come on," he said waving her toward him. She walked toward the bed and sat down. "We're engaged now…no secrets. Besides…he's my best friend. I think that I can already guess what it was. So go ahead Freckles…tell me. I won't be mad, I promise."

"Sawyer," she replied. "It wasn't anything. He's just upset about Juliet. Nothing more."

"Pants on fire Freckles," he whispered and put his hand on the back of her neck. She leaned toward him and kissed his lips. He kissed her back and then forgot about what Jack said. He laid down and brought her with him. She smiled up at him and ran her hands down his neck.

"I still haven't forgotten," he told her. "I know that Jack must have said something to upset you…I won't push it right now, but eventually you're gonna have to tell me. And then I'll have to kick his ass for upsetting you. Might as well tell me sooner rather than later Freckles? Come on babe…what the hell did Jack say to you?"

"Ok," she sighed. "I'll tell you, but you're going to have to give me a minute to tell you everything. Don't interrupt. I'll start out by saying that he does love Juliet. He does. But he's-"

"In love with you," Sawyer finished her thought. "We all know there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I mean you love Jack right? You're just not in love with him. And you probably told him that so now he's pissed that we got engaged, because now he knows that he doesn't have a chance in hell. He's pissed off at me right?"

"I don't think I'd necessarily use the word pissed," she responded. "I think more like surprised, and slightly upset. And I also think that I told you not to interrupt."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "My mistake. Anyway, why can't Jack just-I mean I get that he loves you Kate…but he's got Juliet now. You said it yourself that he loves her. Can't he just take second best?"

"Real nice Sawyer," she chuckled. "I wouldn't want to be someone's second choice…would you?"

"No," he mumbled. "I just don't get it. He's been completely fine with us for the past 2 months. I mean why all the sudden would he be all upset that we were getting married? We tell each other we love each other in front of him all the time, I just don't get why he's so-"

"He just is," Kate interrupted. "I don't think there's any way we can change his mind about how he feels. But you have to promise me something ok? What ever happens…don't take it out on Jack. It's just-he's got a lot on his mind, and honestly I don't think he's over his father yet. I just-give him a break ok. Whatever you do…just give him-"

"Kate I gotcha," he chuckled. "I'll give him a break. I mean how can he not love you."

Sawyer brushed his hand across her face and she let out a soft laugh. She smiled at him and he leaned toward her lips. She kissed him back and then backed away.

"I thought you didn't feel good," she argued.

"Suddenly I'm feeling much better Freckles," he answered in a whisper.

"Sawyer, I really don't think-"

"Shh," he shook his head. "Don't think. Don't think about what could happen, but think about what I could be doing to you."

"Sawyer," she sighed, but she gave in and began kissing him again. "What about Juliet?"

"What?" he asked slightly shocked. "What about her Freckles? She's got nothing to do with us…unless you're going to tell me that Juliet is in love with me."

"No," she answered. "She's gone. Shouldn't we go with Jack and try to find her?"

"I dunno Freckles," he responded. "I mean-we really have no clue where that Ben guy could have taken her. She could be anywhere."

There was a harsh knock on the front door and Kate quickly got up and went to answer it. When she got there Jack wasn't far behind. She opened the door and a man that she didn't recognize was standing in front of her.

"If you ever want to see Juliet alive again you'll come with me," the man stated.

"What?" Kate asked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Sawyer had made his way out into the hall too. He saw Kate talking to the man and came up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders protectively and stared at the man.

"All of you," the man replied. "All of you need to come with me right now."

"I don't understand," Kate shook her head.

"We can do it the hard way or the easy way. Follow me."

"We're not goin' nowhere with you," Sawyer answered.

"Fine," the man continued. "Hard way it is."

He pulled out a gun and hit Sawyer over the head with it. Kate screamed and the man grabbed Kate roughly by the arm and jabbed a needle into it. She leaned against the stranger for support, and he helped her lay down, and everything went dark.

When Kate woke up she was in a bright room. She didn't see Sawyer, who was laying, seemingly passed out near her. Jack was on the other side of the room staring at them both. Kate was still pretty groggy but she managed to sit up. After she rubbed her eyes she looked down and saw Sawyer.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. "Sawyer! Open your eyes. Are you ok? Sawyer!"

"Kate," Jack said stopping her. "He's fine. I mean not fine fine, but he's ok. I already checked his pulse. He's alive. They musta given all of us some sort of drug-I don't know-I'm so-I-"

"Jack," she whispered and made her way toward him. "Why are they doing this?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I wish I could tell you."

"Have you seen Juliet yet?" she asked.

"Nah," he mumbled. "I just woke up myself. Y'know Kate, you don't have to worry. I wasn't really serious about what I said earlier. I'm just being stupid."

"Jack," she began. "I kinda think you were…being serious. I mean-"

"I'm not gay," he argued.

"Jack, why would you say something like that then?" she asked. "It's ok to be confused. I'm still gonna love you. And I'm sure Sawyer will too."

"No he won't," he scoffed.

"Not in that way," she replied.

"No Kate," he shook his head. "Not in any way. If he ever finds out that I'm having these crazy ass feelings for him…he'll never want to come near me again."

"Jack he'll understand-" she started.

"No he won't!" Jack exclaimed. "Kate you don't know him. I mean you might think you do, and you might know things about his past…but those are just facts. You don't know how he feels about that kind of thing. It'll freak him out. I mean wouldn't it freak you out? Your best friend for 20 years tells you that she's starting to have feelings for you…what the hell would you say?"

"I would tell whoever it was that I am flattered, but that I just don't feel the same," she answered.

"But then your friendship would never be the same," he whispered. "I mean it would ruin any kind of…anything you could ever have."

"I don't think that's true," she shook her head. "I think that I could still be friends with someone who was in love with me."

"You can't know that Kate," he scoffed. "I mean you'd probably like to think that's what you would say, but you don't actually know, because it hasn't happened. Kate…have you ever felt something that you shouldn't? You just don't get what it's like. He'll never want to see me again."

"Well I don't want you and Sawyer to lose your friendship over all this," she shook her head.

"I just hope Sawyer feels the same way," he mumbled. "I mean about not wanting to lose the friendship. I know he would never-he's too in love with you to ever-"

"Jack," she whispered. "Do you think this is for real, or do you think it's just a little jealousy that we're getting married. I know that it's probably a jerky thing to ask, but-I mean maybe what you're feeling is just jealousy that we're going to be getting married and leave the house. Maybe if you thought we were going to live with you for the rest of our lives…those feelings would dissipate. So what do you think? Could it be just jealousy over the engagement?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "That's what makes this so screwed up Kate. I mean before you moved in I was having these-I dunno…I guess just singular moments when I thought maybe-but then I pushed the thoughts from my head. I just thought it was normal to have feelings deepen. Every so often he'd…I dunno talk about his conquests or whatever and I'd get a little jealous…but I thought it was just that I was jealous that he had a life. Because my entire life was med school classes…I didn't even sleep with Sarah, my own girlfriend, for the last month of our relationship. Then you moved in and everything changed."

"Great," she sighed. "Don't try and blame this on me-"

"No," he said quickly. "I'm not trying to blame you Kate. I'm just-when you moved in here…I saw the way he looked at you and how well the two of you got along. I saw your connection. I mean me and Sawyer used to have a ton in common when we were in high school. I mean not in our lives, but we liked the same things, the same movies, the same sports teams. I mean we did everything together. And it was like as soon as you moved in I lost my best friend, and he got a new one."

"Jack," she whispered. "I never mean to make you feel like that. I never meant to replace your friendship. I never meant to over take-"

"I know," he interrupted.

"I just-I would come home from work and he'd be bored so we'd hang out. I mean it wasn't anyone's fault. But you were never home Jack. I think he felt the same way. He felt like the two of you were drifting apart. And I was just there to kinda-well not replace you, but just to be someone who he could talk to."

"Well I'm not blaming you for the demise of our friendship-"

"Your friendship isn't over Jack," she told him confidently. "Sawyer really cares about your friendship. I know that that probably sounds really insincere, especially now…but he does. I'm sure it's good for him to just talk to a guy. I mean you can understand things about him that I never could."

"Stop trying to make me feel better," he sighed. "I just wanna go home."

"Me too," she nodded.

"Can I see your ring?" he asked. Kate held out her hand and Jack looked at the ring again. He sighed to himself and then rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. "It really is gorgeous. And you're definitely really happy, right?"

"It's ok Jack," Kate said warmly. "It's gonna be ok."

"How?" he asked. "My two best friends are getting married and I think I'm in love with one of them."

"I'm your best friend?" she asked with a smile.

"You and Sawyer are pretty much all I got," he shrugged.

"Told ya Kate," Sawyer said quietly, beginning to wake up and then make his way toward them.

"When did you wake up? I mean, how long have you been awake?" Jack asked, beginning to panic slightly. "I mean how much of that did you hear?"

"Just that your two best friends are getting married, and you're in love with one of them," Sawyer answered. "But don't worry…it's ok. Kate already told me how you feel."

"She did what?" Jack asked, shooting a sharp stare at Kate. "Kate-"

"It's ok," Sawyer interrupted. "I kinda forced it out of her. Jack, it's alright. I have been suspecting it for a while now. I mean the longing stares and especially the way you looked at me earlier today when you saw Kate's ring. It's ok. I'm not mad. I basically forced it out of her. She wasn't going to tell me anything…but it doesn't take a genius to guess."

"Really?" he asked. "I'm that obvious?"

"Jack," he laughed. "She's gorgeous. And she's amazing, who wouldn't fall in love with such a Goddess."

"A Goddess?" Kate asked with a giggle. "I'm a Goddess now? Sawyer I think you're taking that a tad bit too far. I mean a princess maybe, but not a Goddess."

She smiled widely at both men and then glanced over at Jack, who was relieved that Sawyer didn't know his secret, but obviously slightly disappointed at the same time. Kate still thought that it would probably be a mistake to tell Sawyer. Even though she hoped that he would understand, she knew deep down that he probably wouldn't. She only told those things to Jack, to make him feel better.

"Kate," Sawyer started. "You ok? You look kinda-"

"Well I was drugged James," she smirked. "I'm not going to be completely myself. I'm fine. Just thinking is all."

"About our wedding?" he whispered quietly. He was trying not to let Jack hear, but since the room was so small, Jack couldn't help but hear it. He looked at his feet and took a deep breath.

"Sawyer," Kate began.

"What?" he asked. "I'm sorry Jack…I'm sorry that you are in love with my fiancé, but I'm not going to stop talking about the wedding until it happens. We love each other Jack. We love each other, so either you give us your blessing or-"

"Or what?" Jack asked. "You'll dis-invite me to the wedding? Good. I don't know if I can handle watching the two of you vow for the rest of your lives to love each other."

"Jack get over it!" Sawyer exclaimed. "She doesn't love you!"

"We gotta find a way outta here," Jack said quickly. "I can't stay in here any more. It's too enclosed."

"Good luck Jack-o," Sawyer chuckled. "I don't even see a door."

"There's gotta be a way in here," he sighed. "So that means there's a way out too."

"Jack, there ain't no point," Sawyer told him. "We're gonna be stuck in here till someone lets us out."

"I gotta get out of here," he shook his head. "I can't-"

"Jack," Kate whispered. "It's ok. It'll be ok. And me and Sawyer will stop talking about the wedding ok? Jack I'm sorry."

"Kate you don't gotta apologize to him for anything," Sawyer shook his head. "It's generally customary for a woman to be excited about getting engaged. She probably talks about the wedding from the moment the ring is on her finger, until the actual wedding. You don't gotta feel bad."

"Sawyer's right," Jack sighed. "I'm being stupid. I'm sorry. I don't-I don't want to feel this way anymore…so I won't."

"What are you talkin' about Jack?" Kate asked quickly, this time showing some concern. "You're not going to-"

"I'm just going to stop thinking about it," he answered. "If I don't think about my feelings then they don't exist right?"

"I don't think it works that way Jack," she responded.

"It's gonna have to," he said. "Because I can't live my life this way. Always thinking that I might change peoples minds. I can't just-I love-you know it. I'm just going to have to turn off my feelings. And I'm obviously never going to be able to act on them."

"You're damn right," Sawyer said. "She is mine. Stay away from her-"

"Sawyer shut up!" Kate exclaimed. "Things are bad enough as it is. And I won't let you two fight anymore. Jack is your best friend. And it's going to stay that way. And Jack, you better come to the wedding because if you don't, I'll never forgive you. Because remember how you said that me and Sawyer are your best friends? Well you're mine too. And my best friend has to be the best man in my wedding."

"She's right dude," Sawyer sighed. "Look I'm sorry I got so bent out of shape. You just have no idea-she means everything to me…and I can't let you take her from me."

"I never would do that," Jack said softly. "I would never even think to do that. She doesn't love me anyway. She loves you Sawyer…so much."

Sawyer turned toward Kate and smiled at her. She smiled back and then looked at her feet. She knew that this could all turn very ugly, very quickly. She was wanting nothing more but to get the hell out of this room before something happened. She was fairly confident that whoever was holding them hostage knew that keeping them in this room was going to tear them apart.

**A/N: So? How is it? Please review and let me know!!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. I have some people who really want the Jawyer to happen, and then I have some who just want him to stay with Kate. I don't really know exactly what I'm going to do yet, but I have the ending all planned out. Don't worry it won't actually end for at least another few chapters, probably even more, but I do know how I want it to end. I updated as quickly as I could. I've been pretty busy lately, so I haven't been able to write.**

Kate was sitting in the corner with Sawyer. He insisted on sitting with his arms around her. She wanted to protest, but he was making her feel better and he smelled so good. She rested her head on his shoulder and her eyes flickered closed. After she started breathing rhythmically and he knew that she was sleeping, he helped her lay down. Then he moved across the room and sat down next to Jack.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"What?" Jack asked.

"What's going on?" he questioned.

"We're stuck in a room the size of our bathroom, and-nothing," Jack sighed.

"You really do got it bad don't you?" Sawyer shook his head. "Look, Jack…I understand falling for Kate. She's-she's amazing. She understands me without even having to try. But Jack…I need her. I don't think you need her like I do."

"Sawyer, I-" Jack started. "You're right. I don't need her like you do. And I can see how much you love her. I'm not going to stand in your way."

"Thank you," Sawyer said softly. "I'm sorry-I didn't mean to get so, well crazy. Just the prospect of you loving Kate, and then possibly her loving you back."

"She doesn't," Jack shook his head. "Don't worry. Kate doesn't love me Sawyer. She loves you…so so much. I just really want to get the hell out of this room."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "You and me both."

They stayed in the room for what seemed like days, but really it was only a few hours. All of them were bored and they stopped talking about the bad things that would cause fights. Eventually there was a soft knock at the door, that seemed to not exist, and a door behind Sawyer's back opened. The man named Ben was standing in front of them with a tray of food.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked. "Why are you keeping us here? I don't understand."

"Because," he answered. "I'm doing it for Juliet."

"Juliet is going to hate you," Sawyer scoffed. "If you don't let us go-I'm gonna."

"You're gonna what?" Ben asked. "I really don't think you're in any position to tell me what to do, or how Juliet is going to-I have to keep you all because I can't just keep Jack."

"Why?" Jack asked. "Why would you need me?"

"Juliet is sick," Ben mumbled. "She doesn't know how bad it is…but she's-she has a tumor on her spine."

"I'm not-" Jack shook his head. "I mean I'm a spinal surgeon, but I'm only in my first year of residency. I don't-I'm not that good-"

"But you love her," Ben responded. "Well, we all know there's someone in this room that you love even more, but you love Juliet, and you don't want anything to happen to her right? You want her to live?"

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Of course I want her to live. What do you want me to do?"

"Come with me," Ben said, a little creepily. Jack got up and followed Ben out of the room. Sawyer looked at Kate, and then at the tray of food. Kate smirked slightly and sat down with Sawyer on the floor. They started eating the food and by the end of the meal they were both messing around with each other and laughing. It felt good to be smiling and laughing again. Everything had been so tense over the last few hours. Kate knew that it was probably around dinner time. Sawyer looked over at her and leaned toward her lips. She backed away slightly, and then he leaned toward her again quickly and their lips touched this time.

"What are we doing?" Kate whispered through the kiss.

"We're kissing," he answered. "And we'll probably do more…or at least I'm hoping we will."

"Sawyer," she said softly and smiled, but was slightly taken aback. Oddly enough even though she wanted to push him away, there was another part of her that wanted him so badly at that moment. She went back to kissing him and then laid down on top of him. The more they kissed, the more Kate wanted to do more. Sawyer flipped them over and stopped kissing her and looked down at her.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

"No," he smiled and shook his head. "I just want to look at ya. I want to marry you Kate."

"Well then it's a good thing I still got this ring," she answered, holding her hand up and showing him her ring. She leaned up and kissed him again. And he ran his hands down her body. Neither of them heard the door opening and the two bodies being shoved into the room. Kate sat up just long enough to tear her own shirt off and Sawyer's too. He moaned softly into her mouth. Both Jack and Juliet cleared their throats and they still didn't stop.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Jack said loudly and letting out an aggravated scoff. Jack looked away and looked over at Juliet.

"They were drugged," she sighed, looking at the empty plates. "They want to make sure that you get as jealous as possible."

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"They know that you're going to freak out, and tell Sawyer your secret," she frowned and looked at him.

"How do you-" he started. "There's cameras in here isn't there. You heard me and Kate talking. Juliet-"

"It's ok," she sighed. "I know that I'm going to die, and I know you're in love with Sawyer."

"I'm not-" he shook his head. "I don't know how I feel Juliet. I'm just-I don't know what to do. I have these stupid feelings and I don't know how to tell them to shut up, but I love you too Juliet. I don't want to break up with you."

"Well if you think we're going to still be together," she said. "While you're in love with a man-besides that. I'm going to die anyway. There's no way to save me."

"Juliet," he sighed. "You're not going to die. I promise."

"You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep," Juliet frowned. "I love you…but I can't be with you. I confronted Ben about me dying…he admitted it, and told me I had less than a year. He said I had 8 months, maybe 9."

"I'm going to save you," he said softly, and touched her face with the back of his hand. She turned toward his comfort and let out a stifled sob. He put his arms around her and she started sobbing almost uncontrollably.

Sawyer and Kate both could hear Juliet crying and they stopped kissing. Kate sat up and came out of her daze, although Sawyer continued to run his hands over her arms and back. She pushed him away several times, but stayed quiet because she knew something was really wrong with Juliet.

"What happened?" Kate asked quietly to Jack. Jack shook his head and made a shushing gesture. Kate leaned against Sawyer who started kissing her neck again. She took her shirt and pulled it back over her head.

"What are you doing Freckles?" he asked into her ear.

"Getting dressed," she responded. "Sawyer, we can't…not while Jack and Juliet are right here."

"Well then when they leave," he whispered. She turned toward him and smiled weakly. He wrapped his arms around her and she couldn't help but lean against him.

Juliet stopped crying and backed away from Jack. She looked at Kate and Sawyer who were now snuggling on the floor. She switched her glance to Jack, who was also looking at Sawyer and Kate. He rolled his eyes, but neither of them saw. Juliet stood up and went to where the door was. She started pounding on the door and waited for someone to come.

"Let me out Ben!" she exclaimed. "I gotta get out of here."

"Jules," Jack whispered, standing up and putting his hands on her face.

"No," she half sobbed. "You don't want me. If you want-"

"Don't," he frowned. "Juliet please…just don't tell-"

"I know," she nodded. "Fine. Have a nice life."

Ben came to the door and Juliet stood in front of him with her arms crossed. He smirked evilly at her and then took her by the hand.

"Ben you can let them all go," she sighed. "I don't want to be saved."

"Too damn bad."

Sawyer, Jack and Kate sat in the room for almost 3 more weeks before they heard anything from anyone else. They got fed breakfast, lunch and dinner, and usually Kate and Sawyer would be all over each other after every meal. They stopped in time before anything ever happened, but it was beginning to freak Kate out. She stopped eating so much, and went to eating only once a day. Sawyer got worried about her because he thought she should eat more, but she was too scared to.

Things were starting to become almost comfortable. They even gave them a deck of cards so they didn't get bored. Jack and Sawyer were back to being friends. Things were still somewhat tense, but for the most part everything was fine. Kate was sleeping a lot more. Jack thought that maybe she was pregnant again since she always seemed to be sleeping.

"I think we should ask for a blood test," Jack said quietly as Kate slept in the corner.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "In a couple weeks, we're going to know anyway. She's-I don't want to get her hopes all up just to have them crash to the ground. So don't you dare tell her that you think she's pregnant."

"I don't have to," Jack answered looking behind Sawyer and seeing as Kate sat up and smiled widely.

"I'm pregnant?" she asked and put her hands against her stomach.

"Kate," Sawyer said softly and moved over toward her. "We don't know for sure. I just didn't really want to tell you-I mean if you are pregnant…then great. I just didn't want to see you get hurt if you weren't pregnant."

"So you weren't going to tell me?" she half scoffed.

"Honey," he began. "In a couple weeks you're going to know for sure anyway."

"Fine," she said softly. "I'm starving. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"Well then eat something," he said, putting his hand against her cheek. "Don't worry. I'm right here…and I won't let anything happen to you."

"Well yeah," she chuckled. "But it's been 3 weeks and we haven't-well you know."

"God," Jack whispered softly.

"Sorry Doc," Sawyer smirked.

Kate started eating her plate of food and then started looking at Sawyer. He looked back at her and smirked widely.

"Maybe they'll let Jack leave," she said out loud, even though she was trying to be as quiet as possible.

"Thanks Kate," Jack shook his head, but was still smiling.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "It's just been so long since me and Sawyer-I know you don't want to hear about it. I'm just-I love Sawyer so much Jack. And I want to be able to-well I want to show him how much I love him. I know what you told me before and I just can't get it out of my head-I can't imagine what this is like for you. Me and Sawyer have been getting so much closer over the past 3 weeks, and now we might be having a baby. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this and watch as we fall further and further in love while all you can do is sit on the sidelines and be in love with him."

Kate was talking so quickly and barely even able to be understood, but it was almost like she couldn't stop talking. When she said the last part she covered her mouth quickly and looked from Jack to Sawyer. Sawyer looked completely stunned as Kate said that Jack was in love with him. She put her head down in her hands.

"I didn't mean that," she mumbled. "It's not true Sawyer."

"Enough is enough," Jack shook his head. "Sawyer-she was telling the truth. We've been keeping it from you for 3 weeks."

**A/N: I also know that this was semi-short, but hopefully it's still good. It's actually really funny because I was watching an episode of Buffy, and for those of you who know the show, it was the one where Willow went to see Rack, and he said "You taste like strawberries." and out loud I said "You taste like fish biscuits" It really made me laugh that he said that. Anyway Please review!!**


	19. Chapter 19

Sawyer stared at Jack dumbly and then looked over at Kate. She still had her lips pressed firmly together, knowing that it was a huge mistake to tell Sawyer about Jack's secret. It wasn't fair. She couldn't stop herself. It wasn't her fault, something took over her and she some how just couldn't stop talking. Sawyer's fists tightened and Kate moved away from him slightly.

"You knew!" he exclaimed and grabbed her by the shoulders. "You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"Get off of her!" Jack yelled. He went toward Sawyer, and Sawyer shoved him away. He looked back at Kate, and still held on to her, but not quite as tight.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "What was I supposed to say? 'I just wanted to ruin your friendship and let you know that Jack might be in love with you'? I mean come on. I couldn't do that. I wasn't going to wreck the friendship that you and Jack have."

"I want to get out of here right now," Sawyer mumbled. "I can't be here. Not when-are you-you're kidding right? I mean Jack…you're-you were going to ask Sarah to marry you-"

"But I didn't," he shook his head. "I didn't-"

"You bought a ring!" Sawyer yelled. Kate jumped slightly and moved back again. "Jack…we've been best friends for like 20 years. Why would you say that you were falling-you're not gay. I know that. You've always had girlfriends-"

"Till now," Jack mumbled.

"Oh God," Sawyer whispered. "I don't want to hear anymore. I don't-just shut up."

Sawyer quickly moved toward Kate, which slightly scared her, but then he grabbed her face and kissed her deeply. Kate kissed him back, and tried to move away, but the way he kissed her, was just enough for her to lose her mind. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. Jack took a deep breath and shook his head. He turned toward the wall and then laid down to stare at the ceiling. He could hear the smacking of lips and tongues and tried his best to block it all out. It was working up till Kate's shirt landed on his face. He tossed it off of him and then sat up and moved as far away from them as he possibly could. Kate was moaning softly. She started removing more clothes, and this time Jack knew that neither of them were going to have the will to stop. He closed his eyes tightly and pretended not to hear anything, even though he could hear everything. Jack almost felt like they were being extra loud on purpose, but then he thought or at least he hoped that Kate wouldn't do that. And then he remembered that she was probably still being affected by whatever Ben was putting in their food.

Sawyer and Kate were laying with only a thin sheet covering them. Jack averted his eyes as much as he could, but being in such a small room, it was almost impossible. Jack was beginning to get really mad at Sawyer. He was a little upset with Kate for telling his secret, but he knew for the most part that it wasn't really her fault. He knew that Sawyer would freak out, but Sawyer barely acknowledged him which made him more angry. He would have preferred Sawyer to get mad and yell at him, rather than ignore him and instead have sex with Kate right in front of him.

Jack heard a soft knock at the door, before it opened. He rubbed his forehead and Juliet sat down next to him. She frowned, and then looked at Kate and Sawyer laying together. Kate started getting up and started to get dressed. Sawyer helped her but continued to kiss her the whole time.

"Sorry I missed the show," Juliet chuckled, but then looked over at Jack who wasn't smiling. "I saw what happened. I mean-I saw that Sawyer now knows. Doesn't it feel better now? You don't have to hide it anymore."

"Yeah," Jack mumbled. "I feel great. Instead of just being mad at me my best friend in the whole world, doesn't even want to look at me. I just feel so relieved Juliet…you can't even imagine. I hope that he stays mad at me for the rest of the time we're in here. That would just make me feel fantastic."

Jack had a very sarcastic tone to his voice, and Juliet looked at him with remorse. She had no idea what to even say to him. Especially since he also claimed to be in love with her. She felt bad for him because he pretty much lost his best friend, but at the same time, she was still sort of mad at him for having sex with her when he was obviously feeling confused about what he really felt.

"Why did you have sex with me?" Juliet asked. At this Sawyer perked up and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Y'know Juliet…that's a really good question," Sawyer answered. "I'd kinda like to know the answer myself Jack. I mean it wasn't just Juliet…you had sex with Sarah too, didn't you?"

"Yes," he sighed. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Jack, it was the whole houses business when you two had sex," Sawyer scoffed.

"Oh, kinda like what you and Kate just did to me?" Jack spat. "That was revolting. Why the hell would you do that to me…I don't care if I wasn't-why would you want to have sex in front of me, and in front of the cameras. Sawyer I know…I know that you could never-I know you're in love with Kate. I just-this really sucks you know that? Because it was supposed to just stay between me and Kate…and I guess Juliet since she found out too. It's just-you were never supposed to know.

"Well I wish I didn't," Sawyer murmured. "It just-you know that I don't have a problem with gay people. You know that I could care less, as long as they stay away from me and don't try anything. But now…all those times we screwed around and played football…how the hell do I know that you weren't really just trying to-"

"Because you know me better than that Sawyer," Jack interrupted.

"Obviously I didn't," Sawyer shook his head. "I didn't have one clue that you had feelings for me. And now I don't know how long it went on for…I mean have you felt this way for 20 years?"

"No," Jack answered quickly. "No…just the past few months."

"Since Kate," Sawyer scoffed. "This is all just a stupid ploy so that you can break up me and Kate and then have _her_ all to yourself. You're really pathetic you know that Jackson. Juliet, if we have to all still stay here, then you better the hell switch us rooms, because I can't even look at him."

"James," Kate whispered.

"How can you stick up for him!" Sawyer yelled. "All he wants to do is come between us and it's working. You're going to let him break us up and then be with him."

"No!" she exclaimed. "God, of course not. But Sawyer, Jack already explained to me that this has nothing to do with me…and I believe him. I know that it's hard to hear, and it's weird because you've been friends for so long, but I really think that he might be telling the truth. He has these confused feelings for you."

"There!" Sawyer said loudly, but not really yelling. "You just said it…confused. He's confused…he doesn't really love me. He's just jealous because I got engaged before him. I fell in love with the most amazing woman that he'll never be able to get, and he's jealous of that. He misses his relationship with Sarah, and he doesn't have the same connection with Juliet as you and me have. He just wants it for himself, and he thinks that to get attention he can tell me he loves me and get away with it. Well it ain't gonna work. Jack, I'm sorry that you and Sarah broke up, and I'm also sorry that you and Juliet can't seem to be as in love as me and Kate…but-"

"Shut up!!" Jack screamed. "I don't care about anything anymore. I don't care about your stupid relationship with Kate, and I don't care about losing whatever I could have had with Sarah. I do love Juliet, and I can't stop loving her…but I also love yo-"

"No!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Don't you dare say it. I can't-"

"Some how between being jealous of Kate and falling for Juliet…I also fell for you Sawyer. I know it sounds so stupid, and I know that it means we'll probably never be friends again, but I just needed you to know. I just can't lie anymore. And you and Kate are right…it might just be that I want what you two have…but I really don't think so. I just-I really miss what we used to have and I wish that we could just have our friendship."

"We were like brothers," Sawyer mumbled. "Do you know how sick that is? I mean you call my Grammy…Grammy. You don't call her Mrs. Williams. Or even Jean. You call her Grammy."

"I know," Jack nodded. "I wish I could just turn off everything I'm feeling. I don't want to have any of these stupid feelings. They're wrong and terrible…and I just wish it didn't have to be this way. I thought maybe the feelings would stop, but being stuck in this damn room with you for almost a month…well it only made them stronger."

"Stop," Sawyer whispered and closed his eyes. "I don't want to hear any more Jack. I know that you just want to tell me everything, but I can't listen to it anymore. I don't even know if I will be able to still be your friend. I think that when and if we ever get out of this godforsaken place, me and Kate…we need to move out."

"Jack," Ben said from behind them with a sigh. "She refuses to have the operation until I let you all go. So I guess that's what I'm going to have to do. You are all free to go."

Kate, Jack, and Sawyer went into the house silently. Kate walked over to the couch and flopped down. She put her head against the wall behind her and took a deep breath.

"I'm gonna go pack some things," Sawyer whispered, walking over to her. "I'll be out in a minute ok?"

Sawyer gave her a peck on the lips and left the room. Kate looked up at Jack and frowned. He sat down next to her and shook his head.

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "I know this whole thing is all my fault."

"Kate," Jack shook his head. "It's not your fault. I know that you might feel like it is, considering you're the one who blabbed my secret, but it isn't all your fault."

"You're not really instilling a lot of confidence," Kate chuckled. "I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't said anything you two would at least still be on speaking terms."

"It would have eventually come out," Jack whispered. "Kate I'm so scared."

"Of what?" she asked. "I mean your secret is out. What more is there to be scared of?"

"I'm scared of ending up all alone," he mumbled. "I mean, Juliet's mad at me for-well I don't know what for…I mean I do, but I still love her too…I do. Kate you gotta believe me."

"Ok," she nodded. "I believe you Jack. I believe you."

"And now Sawyer's back in your bedroom packing up his stuff and you two are going to leave and you're never going to come back, and I probably won't even be invited to the wedding. I never wanted any of this to happen," he continued. "I just thought that everything would end up differently."

"I know."

Sawyer went back into the bedroom and started packing a suitcase. As he packed he started getting more and more angry. He wasn't so much mad at Jack, but mad at the situation. He didn't understand any thing of what Jack was feeling. Nothing was going as planned. He and Jack were supposed to start going shopping for tuxedos. Jack was going to be the best man in his and Kate's wedding, and now he wasn't even sure if Jack would feel comfortable enough to come to the wedding. He didn't want to lose the friendship with Jack, anymore than Jack did…but he didn't know how they could keep being friends when Jack had these feelings for him. He knew damn well he could never be just friends with Kate. Part of him knew that he had to leave the house for any kind of friendship to continue with Jack, but then the other part didn't really want to leave. He had lived at this house for 5 years. It was the longest he had ever had a home. He wanted to stay, but at the same time he didn't want to. He started taking things out of the dresser and came across a picture of Jack and himself on their graduation day. He sighed deeply and shook his head.

He walked out into the living room without the luggage and looked down at Kate and Jack.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Sawyer mumbled and sat down on the coffee table in front of them. "I mean-I can tell that Kate doesn't want to leave…and to be honest neither do I. But I don't see how the hell we can keep being friends when-"

"Sawyer I'm sorry," Jack sighed. "This is all screwed up…but I don't want you to leave either. I want us to keep being friends. We're best friends Sawyer. I'm going to leave you alone. I promise that nothing is going to happen."

"Alright," he chuckled. "And I promise to try and not be gross with Kate. But how-I mean you're still having all these weird feelings right?"

"Well maybe I won't," Jack mumbled. "Maybe I can marry Juliet, and we can all live here as one big family…we'll raise our kids here, and-I mean I still do love Juliet…so much. I don't want to lose her…maybe I can convince her."

So Kate and Sawyer stayed at the house. Not that there weren't problems. Jack and Sawyer fought more than usual, and their friendship would definitely never be the same. Kate tried to mediate any of the fights because she wanted them to stay friends. She hated when they would fight about stupid stuff. She wished everyone could be happy again. It had been 2 months and Kate was frantically trying to plan a small wedding. They still wanted to do it elegantly, but still quickly. Grammy was still doing ok, the doctors said that she had a few more months before she wouldn't remember anything anymore, but Sawyer was bound and determined to have her at the wedding.

Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed together. Kate had her head resting on Sawyer's chest and was waiting for him to say something before she spoke. He was playing with her hair and then pushed her over and kissed her.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I got a call today from the nursing home. Grammy took a turn for the worse. Instead of having a few months before she's going to forget everything…she only has a few months to live…maybe less."

"James," she said softly. "I'm so sorry."

"It ain't your fault," he shrugged. "But you know what the worst part is Freckles? The first thing I wanted to do was come home and tell Jack. I wanted to let him know what was going on. He was always the first to know any time Grammy was sick or whatever. I wanted to tell him but I couldn't. I mean he's still so-it's just still really awkward. I don't know if we'll ever have a normal moment again."

"Maybe if you just acted normal, and he acted normal," Kate began. "I know nothing will ever be the same…but maybe…just maybe, if he got back together with Juliet…maybe things wouldn't have to be so weird."

"Jack hasn't even seen Juliet in over 2 months. Since that day we were let go."

"Sawyer," Kate said sitting up. "Go talk to him. Tell him about your grandma. He'd want to know."

"He's not even home," Sawyer shrugged. "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

Jack was walking up the steps to the house, and noticed a figure standing at the top of by the door. When he got there, he saw that it was Juliet. She was about to knock on the door and Jack put his hand on her shoulder. She whipped around and looked at him, somewhat guiltily.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked. "I mean we haven't even heard so much as a peep for over 2 months."

"I know," she nodded. "I'm sorry. I just-I've been busy. I've had a lot on my mind."

"Really?" he asked. "You mean like dying? Have you come here to ask me for help…because you know that I'll help you Juliet. You don't even have to ask. When should we get started. I mean you probably should have had the operation months ago. So are you here to ask about the operation?"

"Not exactly," she began. "Jack I need to tell you-"

"What's wrong with you?!" he exclaimed. "I mean do you want to die? I know that you said you didn't want it, but it's been 2 months…if Ben was telling the truth and it's as bad as he says it is…we should do it like yesterday."

"I'm going to have the operation," she nodded. "But not for a while. It's too risky…I'm going to wait 6 months."

"What happens in 6 months," he mumbled. "I mean Juliet, that's half a year away. What could be so important for you to wait 6 months?"

"Jack, I'm pregnant," she answered softly.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my previous chapter. I hope you enjoyed this. Please please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

Jack opened the door and lead Juliet inside silently. He walked with her over to the couch and sat down. She sat down and waited for him to say something. She hoped more than anything that he would speak. He just stared at her, and at her stomach.

"You gonna say anything?" she whispered.

"A baby?" he asked shaking his head. "You're pregnant."

"It's yours," she mumbled.

"How do I know it's not Ben's?" he asked.

"It's not," she scoffed. "I would never let him touch me. He wouldn't come anywhere near me, even if he wanted to."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I said that. I just-I'm so confused and I feel so stupid. And now-I mean this. Of all things. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"Are you really really in love with Sawyer?" she asked softly. "Because it's ok if you are-"

"No," he sighed. "It's really not. And I don't-I don't know. I mean-now things are getting better. Sawyer and Kate are starting to plan the wedding. They're going to move out. I just-I wish that I could change things."

"You mean you wish that Sawyer loved-"

"No," he interrupted. "Not like that. I just wish that I could stop feeling this stupid way. It's not me. Sawyer is right…I mean I've always had girlfriends. I didn't start having feelings for him until he had someone. I mean he has always had a lot of girls, but most of them are one night stands. He's never been in love till Kate, and it's like now that he is…I've realized that I don't want him to be."

"Ok," she nodded. "But maybe that's because you're just jealous. You never thought that Sawyer would love anyone, so now that he does…he doesn't have the time for you."

"I missed you Jules," he whispered. "It's been 2 months, and I miss you. I wish that we could go back-I never would have-"

"Had sex with me?" she asked. "Because I'm not sorry. I have a living person growing inside of me…don't you understand how amazing that is. The human body is so awesome."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "It is. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"Good," she responded. "Because just so you know…I am going to have this baby. And I'm going to keep it and love it. We're going to have a baby Jack. I don't want anything from you…I don't even need you to be in the baby's life if you don't want to be. I just thought you should know."

"Of course I'll be in the baby's life," he said softly. "I want to be there for both of you. Is there anything I can do for you right now? I mean you name it Juliet. I'll do anything."

"Well," she sniffled. "I have nowhere to go. Ben-he's-he didn't exactly kick me out, but I don't want the baby to be around him. I'm so scared. I left Ben's house today and I'm just waiting for him to find me. I told him that I hated you and I never wanted to see you again, and I'm pretty sure he believed me, so hopefully he won't come here looking for me."

"Even if he does," Jack shook his head. "I won't let him come anywhere near you. And neither will Sawyer. We'll make sure of it. I promise. You can stay here. We'll be a family.

"Ok," she nodded.

* * *

Sawyer heard the front door click shut and heard voices. He knew that it was Jack and Juliet. He continued to hold Kate in his arms. She moved up to face him and smiled weakly.

"Go talk to Jack," she said. "Tell him about Grammy. He'll want to know. I think he'd probably be more upset if you waited to tell him."

"You're right," he nodded. "As usual."

He kissed her gently and got out of the bed and started getting dressed. He left the room and closed the door behind him. He walked down the hall and could hear Juliet and Jack talking. When he rounded the corner he saw that Juliet was crying. She quickly wiped her cheeks off and looked at Sawyer. Jack turned around knowing that Juliet had seen someone.

"Hey," Sawyer said softly. "You ok Julie?"

"Yeah," she sniffled. "I'll be fine. I hope you don't mind an extra body living here."

"Nope," he shook his head. "I don't mind. It ain't my house anyway. Is everything ok though? I mean that Ben guy…he ain't gonna come here and kidnap us all again is he?"

"I don't think so," she breathed.

"What do you need Sawyer?" Jack asked, almost sounding a little annoyed.

"Sorry," he shrugged. "I don't need anything. It's not important. Sorry I bothered you."

"No," Jack sighed. "Dammit…what's up? I didn't mean-I just have a lot to think about…I have a lot on my mind."

"Well then I'm not going to burden you," Sawyer stated, beginning to walk away from him. "It's not important. I'll tell you tomorrow."

Kate then also appeared in the doorway behind Sawyer and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She walked with him over to the couch, and practically forced him to sit down. They sat down next to Jack and Jack moved over slightly toward Juliet. She wiped her cheeks again and sighed softly.

"Do you guys mind leaving us alone?" Jack asked. "We were kind of in the middle of a conversation."

"No we weren't," Juliet shook her head. "We were done. It's ok Jack. You can be freaked out…but I think we better tell them before they find out on their own. Guys, I'm going to be moving in here."

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "Kinda already figured that one out when you asked if I minded an extra person living here. So you're going to give Jack another chance? I mean what's to say that he won't be thinking of me, when the two of you are together. How can you even trust him enough that he really does love you? It's going to be difficult, all 4 of us living together. I mean what if something happens? Not that it ever would between me and Jack, but-"

"Sawyer, shut up," Kate said. "Stop being such an asshole."

"Sorry," he shrugged, not acting very sorry at all. "But I'm only telling the truth. It ain't my fault that Jack can't handle it."

"I'm pregnant ok," Juliet stated. Kate shifted uncomfortably in her seat and looked down at her ring. She looked over at Jack who was looking at his feet. "I'm pregnant, and that's why I'm moving in here. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if Jack and me are even going to be together, but I want my baby to grow up in a loving home. I know that Jack and me can be parents together, even if we aren't going to get married. And I'm probably going to die anyway."

"No you're not," Jack shook his head. "Juliet, I promise you. I'm going to save you if it's the last thing I do."

"I just want to take care of my baby," she sniffled. "Promise me that you'll keep her safe. You won't let Ben get to her. Because if I die then I won't be able to be there to protect her. You have to keep her away from Ben."

"Juliet," Jack whispered. "I will. I will. I will, I promise. You don't have to worry about anything. We're going to be one happy family…you, me, Kate, and Sawyer. They're not going to leave now…are you?"

"This really has nothing to do with us Doc," Sawyer shook his head.

"Are you kidding me?!" he exclaimed. "Juliet is pregnant…she needs our help. If you ever cared about one ounce of our friendship then you would stay-"

"Shut up," Sawyer scoffed. "Just because I'm not in love with you Jack, doesn't mean that I stopped caring about you. Of course I care you idiot. And also just because I want to move out and be alone with my future wife…I mean come on…how many married people do you know that live together…or live with other people. Me and Kate…we have to get on our own two feet."

"And you want to get away from me," Jack mumbled.

"Get over it!" Sawyer yelled loudly. "Jesus. This has nothing to do with _you _Jack. I want to be alone with my wife. I want to be able to have sex wherever we want. We'll still see each other all the time-"

"We barely see each other now!" Jack yelled back. "I mean…you're always too busy for me…and especially after what happened…you don't even talk to me-it just pisses me off-"

"_I'm_ too busy?" he scoffed. "Who is at school or work 90 percent of the time? You're the one who's never here. I can't help that. And besides that it's not my fault that we both have lives. We're different people now Jack. Especially you."

"I hate this," Jack sighed. "I just hate it. I wish that all of this would just end. I can't do it anymore."

"Then it's a good thing that me and Kate are gonna leave. Anyway, I came out here to tell you about Grammy. She's dying. The doctors gave her 4 months to live, maybe a little longer. I don't know if you would have wanted to know or not…but now you do. Goodnight."

Sawyer stood up and went down the hall. Jack looked at Kate slightly shocked at what he just heard and then looked at Juliet who looked as if she might start crying. Before Jack could say another word, Juliet did start to cry. Kate looked at both Jack and Juliet and then stood up. She wrapped her arms around Jack's neck. Jack felt a couple tears from Kate's eyes fall onto his shoulder.

"Is he telling me the truth?" Jack asked.

"Why would Sawyer lie about something like that Jack?" Kate asked. "God! This really really sucks. Juliet, if you want you can take my room. I'll help you find some sheets to put on the bed."

"No," she murmured. "I don't really want to be alone. Jack, I know-"

"Of course," he nodded. "Of course you can sleep in my bed. Come on."

He helped Juliet stand and they walked down the hall towards his bedroom. Kate looked on and shook her head. She knew that she and Sawyer had to leave the house as soon as possible. She knew that if things kept going the way they did Sawyer and Jack wouldn't have a friendship left. Even though they usually got along for the most part, Sawyer wasn't ever going to let Jack live it down, that he said he loved him.

Kate walked back toward the bedroom too and opened the door. Sawyer was sitting on the bed with his head down in his hands.

"You ok?" she asked.

Juliet sat down next to Jack on the bed. She had a small bag full of clothes. She opened the bag and pulled out a t-shirt. Jack looked at her with a soft smile and then leaned toward her. She backed away at first and then let him kiss her. She sobbed softly and laid down, bringing him with her. He was slow and meticulous. She started crying harder, but neither of them stopped.

They were laying out of breath, but content in each other's arms. Jack ran his hand down her back and noticed that she had finally stopped crying. Part of him wondered why she was crying that way, but the other part knew. He kissed her on the top of the head and moved underneath her to look at her in the eyes.

"Jules," he whispered. "Are you ok? I mean-I know you're upset. I know that you're scared about Ben taking the baby…but he's not going to. I promise."

"No," she shook her head. "I just realized…maybe you haven't realized it yet Jack, but I realized it tonight…right now. You don't love me. You never did. I don't know why you think you do…but you don't. You're going to love Sawyer from afar the rest of your life."

"No," he smiled. "It's the exact opposite Juliet. What we just did-how much we just comforted each other. Juliet I'm not confused anymore. I love you."

"Liar," she half chuckled. "But thanks."

* * *

Kate rested her hand on his back and he looked up at her. He shook his head and frowned.

"I'm not," he whispered. "I'm not ok Freckles. My grandmother is dying, and I'm so happy at the same time. I never thought that I would ever want to plan a wedding, but it's been kinda cool. Planning out everything we're going to do. I can't wait to be married to you Kate."

"Me too," she answered. "I love you so much Sawyer. And it has been so awesome planning this wedding. I completely agree with you…I never really wanted a big wedding, and I thought that planning it might be kinda boring, but it's not. Sawyer, everything will work out. I'm almost positive. Jack will some how overcome the feelings he's having, and we'll be able to be truly happy."

"No," he shook his head. "That's not why I'm not ok…I'm not ok because I should be sad, and I'm not. I can't be sad. The woman who's taken care of me my entire life is going to die and all I can do is smile and be happy about spending the rest of my life with you. It's just so screwed up."

"No it's not," she replied. "It's good. I'm sure that your grandma would be happy that you were happy. I'm sure that's all she's ever wanted for you."

"She wanted me to get married and be a dad. She told me that all she wanted for me is a family," he said. "The last time I saw her when I was talking about you…she asked me how many kids we were going to have."

"Well," she began and then leaned in to kiss him. He kissed her back and then flipped over on top of her. They started removing pieces of clothing, until they were both completely exposed. Sawyer stopped moving and looked down at her body.

"You're gorgeous," he said softly. She moved underneath him and wrapped her legs around him. They were quick but loving. Sawyer wrapped his arms around her so tightly, she almost felt like she couldn't breathe, but she didn't mind. She kissed his chest and tried to move to his lips, but the way he was holding her made it almost impossible to move.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I love you."

He let go of her and looked at her in the face. He kissed her lips and then wrapped his arms around her again, this time not so tightly. She snuggled against him and took a deep breath of contentment.

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't want to wait 6 more months to get married," she whispered.

"Well then why did you say that you wanted a June wedding?" he asked.

"Because," she shrugged. "I thought it's what I wanted, but now I want to get married within the next couple weeks."

"Couple of weeks?" he asked. "That's a little fast…especially for everything you want in the wedding."

"I don't need any of it," she shook her head. "All I need is you…and I want to get married before too long. I don't want to get married with a big pregnant belly."

"Huh?" he asked. She was smiling widely and he leaned in and kissed her gently.

**A/N: Please review!!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: This chapter is a little longer than some of the others...please enjoy.  
****_shortywman_- Thanks for the review. I hope that you enjoy this chapter. I have loads planned for the baby…some of it you may not like, but I promise it's going to be all fixed.  
****_Katie_-Thanks for the 5 reviews! I don't mind at all. I know that people are busy. I'm glad you enjoy my story. Have you seen any of season 4 yet? You need to! It comes out on DVD on Dec. 9th…I don't know if I would be able to wait that long. Hehe. Anyway enjoy the chapter  
****_LeifofRohan-_Don't even worry about reviewing every single chapter. Thanks so much for the compliment. I've really enjoyed writing this one.  
****_SkateNowandForever_-hehe. I really want a for real Skate baby! That would be so damn cute. Dimples and Freckles. I can't freaking wait for season 5. Apparently Sawyer and Kate will be reunited. I just don't know when. Hopefully the first scene of the first episode! Hah.  
****_Ravensfan52_-Things are more resolved in this chapter between the triangle with Sawyer/Kate/Jack. Hopefully it's less confusing. Thanks for the review and enjoy my chapter. **

Kate smiled wider and looked at Sawyer. He let out a sharp breath and leaned in to kiss her again. She kissed him back, but then stopped and waited for him to give her some kind of an answer. He went back to kissing her and flipped them over. Sawyer touched her face gently and then her stomach.

"Are you serious?" he asked. "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah," she sniffled and smiled. "I'm like a month along."

"What did the doctor say?" he questioned. "Is everything ok?"

"For now," she nodded and frowned. "Are you really going to be that calm about it? Why are you asking me if everything is ok anyway?"

"Freckles," he began. "I don't want to see you go through that again. Losing the baby I mean. I-I just want to-I mean I'm not going to lie…it scares the crap outta me, but I would rather be scared, than have you be heartbroken…again."

"Everything is ok," she whispered. "The doctor said that as long as I take care of myself, everything should be fine. But I'm scared…what if-what if I do lose the baby again Sawyer? What if I can't ever have kids?"

"We'll figure it out," he said touching the side of her face gently.

2 weeks later both the women had started becoming good friends. Sawyer and Jack both were out of the house most of the day, so Juliet and Kate just hung out and started making room for two new babies. Juliet and Kate both shared their fears. Kate was scared of losing the baby, and Juliet was scared of losing her baby and also dying. Neither of them talked to the men about it because neither of them wanted to ruin what little time they had by talking about such horrible things.

Juliet was almost 4 months along, while Kate was only a little over a month along. Kate did everything she knew how to take care of herself. She slept way more than was necessary, but she was afraid of getting sick and she was afraid that it was her own fault if she lost the baby.

Sawyer was at work. He was working on a car and humming to the radio. He didn't notice that Jack was standing nearby until the radio turned off. Sawyer bumped his head on the opened hood of the car and swore under his breath.

"Son of a bitch Doc," he said. "What are you thinkin' sneaking up on me like that?"

"Sorry," Jack mumbled. "You're busy…I'll leave."

"Jack," Sawyer sighed. "You don't gotta leave. Just next time give a guy a warning."

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Whatchu doin' here anyway?" he asked. "I mean-not that I'm not happy to see you…I just you're usually at the hospital till 7:00 at least."

"I'm taking Kate's advice," Jack answered. "From a few months ago. She said that if I wanted to hang out with you, all I should do is ask, right?"

"Yeah," Sawyer responded cautiously. "You wanna hang out? Go on a date?"

"Not a date," Jack replied quickly. "Jeez, this was a huge mistake."

"Relax, I was kidding," Sawyer chuckled. "Lemme just finish up with this car, and we'll go out for drinks. Y'know wind down after a long hard day. Of course we should probably call the ladies and let them know that we're gonna be gone, but other than that. Let's just go-we can get all caught up. I'll tell you the latest about Grammy."

"Ok," Jack nodded and gave a soft smile.

It was only another 20 minutes before Jack and Sawyer were in Jack's car on the way to the bar. When they pulled into the driveway of the bar the gravel crunched under the tires. Jack had always loved that sound, maybe because it reminded him of when his dad would finally come home at night. But that wasn't always a comforting thing, so it still made no sense that the sound of crunching gravel was a good sound.

"Reminds me of sleepovers at your house," Sawyer chuckled, as if reading Jack's mind. "We'd stay up till your dad would get home…just talking about stupid crap."

"Yeah," Jack nodded and let out a breath.

"You ok Jack?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm fine," he mumbled. "Just…Christian y'know. Even though he was a crappy dad…it's just still weird. He's dead."

"So are my parents," Sawyer answered. "I mean-we all have our crap Jack. Kate's got baggage, and so does Juliet. It's what makes us who we are Jack. All the things that happen to us…good and bad-I mean sure we'd all like to erase the bad, but the bad is what makes us know we're alive."

"Jeez James," Jack chuckled. "Where'd you hear that from?"

"Grammy," he whispered. "I told her the other day that I don't want her to die before she can watch me get married. And she said that it was part of life…and then a few other things. She always used to say that. When I would tell her I wish my parents weren't dead…she'd comfort me and then tell me that it would only make me stronger. I hated it when she said that…but I guess now I know what she means."

"Ok," Jack shook his head. "Too serious. Let's get in there and start knocking a few back before we turn in to some more mushy gushy crap."

"Ok," Sawyer laughed.

They had been in the bar for around 30 minutes, and Sawyer realized that he hadn't called Kate yet to let her know that he was going to be later than usual. He looked down at his phone and noticed that he had 3 missed calls. He sighed softly to himself and looked at Jack.

"I'll be right back," he replied. "I need to go call Kate."

"Ok," Jack nodded.

Sawyer walked outside where it was quieter and he could hear better. He dialed home and waited for someone to answer. Kate heard the phone ringing and went over to answer it. She hoped that it was Sawyer. The nursing home had called and said that Grammy had taken a turn for the worse. She wanted to let him know what was going on.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hey," he replied. "I saw that you called a few times. Sorry. I went out with Jack. He came by the shop and wanted to go out for drinks. I was going to call earlier."

"Oh," Kate whispered. She didn't want to ruin the guys night out by telling Sawyer about Grammy, but at the same time she wanted to let him know. "Sawyer, I have to tell you something."

"Oh my God," he said. "The baby. I'm coming home right now."

"No," she replied, smiling widely to herself at Sawyer's concern. "No, it's ok. Me and the baby are fine. And Juliet and her baby are fine too."

"Then what?" he asked.

"Grammy," she answered softly. "The doctor's say that she's not doing well. I-Sawyer I have a crazy idea. And if you don't want to then it's ok. Let's get married this weekend at city hall. Then Grammy can be there…and then after the baby is born, we'll have a bigger wedding. Something awesome."

"Do you know how much I love you?" he questioned. "I'm going to come home soon."

"Sorry for ruining your night with the talk about Grammy," she stated.

"No," he sighed. "I'm glad you did. But I'm still going to stay here for a little while. I mean…as much as I hate to admit it, I really miss Jack's friendship. Even though our friendship will never be what it was, maybe I can salvage some of it."

"James Ford," Kate chuckled. "Is that really you that I'm talking to? You sound-I dunno-"

"I'll see you when I get home Freckles," he said. They hung up and Sawyer made his way back to the bar where Jack was sitting. He sat down next to him and ordered another beer.

"Everything go well?" Jack asked. "Are you in trouble for not calling Kate earlier?"

"No," he laughed. "She called me 3 times because of Grammy."

"Sh-" Jack began. "Sorry. I'm a jerk. I just-"

"Jack," he shook his head. "It's cool. Whatever. You didn't know. Anyway…Grammy. I guess she's not doing well. So Kate wants to get married this weekend, so Grammy can be there."

"Sawyer. Why don't we go home?" Jack asked. "I mean…you should go be with Kate. Grammy-we shouldn't be here getting drunk-"

"It's exactly where I want to be," Sawyer answered. "I mean drinking…forgetting about it."

"To Grammy," Jack said raising his shot glass. Sawyer raised his glass silently and they both took a drink. They drank for nearly 3 hours. It was 11:00 when they finally decided to go home. The bartender took Sawyer's keys from him. Sawyer almost started a bar fight, when the bartender told him to come back the next day for his car keys, but Jack pulled him away. They started walking home. Both of them felt almost as if their friendship was back to normal. Jack was stumbling badly which made Sawyer laugh. They were half a block away from home, when Jack fell on his face. Sawyer laughed loudly and Jack stuck his foot out and Sawyer tripped and fell too. Jack laughed drunkly and watched as Sawyer did a face plant on to the cement next to him.

"Son-" Sawyer began.

"Of a bitch," Jack finished his thought. "Yeah yeah…I know. That's what you get for laughing at me."

"Whatever," Sawyer said standing up, and holding his hands out for Jack to take and stand up too. Jack flinched at the help Sawyer was offering. "Come on Jack-o…it ain't nothing personal. Just a hand up."

Jack took his hands and let Sawyer help him up. When Sawyer pulled him into a standing position Jack fell toward him, and they nearly fell over again. Sawyer chuckled softly and shook his head.

"You need to sober up somewhat before we-" he stopped mid-sentence and Jack kissed him quickly. Sawyer looked at him slightly in awe and then reached back and punched him hard in the nose. Jack punched back and hit him in the face. They went to the ground again and both were throwing hard punches at each other. Sawyer over took Jack, and held him down.

"What is wrong with you?!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"I-I-I'm sorry," Jack slurred and stuttered. Sawyer spotted tears making their way into Jack's eyes. "I didn't-I wasn't-I didn't think."

Sawyer looked down at Jack, and settled down. He stood up off of Jack and Jack stood up. They continued to look at each other, neither of them knowing exactly what to say. Sawyer started walking away toward the house. Jack quickly went after him and grabbed him by the arm. Sawyer had a black eye and Jack's nose was bleeding. He didn't think it was broken.

"Wait," he said.

"For what?" Sawyer scoffed. "For you to try and kiss me again."

"I just needed to see," Jack responded. "And besides that I'm really drunk Sawyer. I never would have-"

"I hate when people blame their actions on being drunk," Sawyer shook his head. "My daddy was trashed the night that he killed himself and my momma…does that make what he did ok? Maybe you think so…but I don't."

"Of course not," Jack sighed. "I just-I don't think I ever would have done that sober. And y'know what…I know I said I was sorry just a few seconds ago…but I'm not. I'm glad I did. Because now I know. I know that it's not love."

"Excuse me?" Sawyer asked.

"That kiss right now," Jack started. "I thought maybe it would tell me what I've been feeling these past 3 months. And it did…I'm not in love with you Sawyer. I just missed you. I missed hanging out…and yeah. I was jealous of the time that Kate got to spend with you. I'm not sorry I kissed you because I'm over it."

"Really?" Sawyer scoffed. "Well I'm glad you feel better Jackson. Because now…I don't know if we can ever hang out like this again."

"Wait," Jack said. "I know you're probably still pissed at me, but I can't-I didn't want our friendship to be ruined. It was never my intention. I just-I dunno. I saw an opportunity and I took it."

"So you really really don't love me?" Sawyer asked. "You're absolutely sure. This isn't just a ploy to get me to not be pissed at you?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm not in love with you. I'm totally completely in love with Juliet. I just want to go home and tell her that."

"Ok," Sawyer mumbled. "One more shot Jack…but it's one, two, three strikes you're out. I just can't go through that…and I can't put Kate through it either."

"It's done," Jack repeated.

"Fine," he replied. "Let's just get home to the girls."

The rest of the walk was uneventful and quiet. Sawyer and Jack were both almost completely sober by the time they got home. They both felt fuzziness in their heads, but their minds were for the most part cleared up by the event. Sawyer's eye was swollen, and Jack's nose had stopped bleeding. It was somewhat swollen, but you couldn't tell unless you got close. When they got into the house each of them went their separate ways and went into their bedrooms.

Juliet was snoring loudly and laying on her back. She looked very uncomfortable. Jack walked over to her and helped her move to her side. He was hoping that he wouldn't wake her up, and was very surprised when he didn't. She sighed contentedly and cuddled against him. He ran his hand down her back and kissed her on the temple.

"I love you Juliet," he whispered into her ear. "I love you more than anything."

When Sawyer walked into his bedroom, Kate wasn't sleeping. She was curled up in a ball on the bed and looked like she had just gotten out of the shower. He walked over to her and noticed that she was shaking with sobs. He quickly knelt to her and put his hand on her back.

"Kate," he whispered.

"Hey," she half sobbed. "You're home. I'm so glad you're home. Kiss me."

"Kate, what happened?" he asked, as Kate kissed him. She pulled him into the bed with her and started kissing him more roughly. He knew that something had to have happened for Kate to be acting this way. "Sweetness, tell me what happened? Is there something wrong with the baby?"

"There isn't one," she whispered. "I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding."

"Did you tell Juliet?" he asked. "I mean that's what she does. She's a baby doctor. Did you tell her?"

"No," she frowned. "I was too scared about what she might say."

"Ok," he nodded. "We're going to the hospital right now. And Juliet is going to drive us."

"Why?" she asked. "I know what they're going to tell me. Sawyer I've done this 3 times now…I know they're going to tell me my baby is gone."

She started crying hard and Sawyer let out a soft breath. He picked her up and carried her into the hall. He knocked on Jack and Juliet's door softly and someone came to the door quickly when they heard Kate's sobs. It sounded to Juliet like she was actually giving birth because the sobs were so intense and agonized.

"Is she ok?" Juliet asked.

"We gotta go to the hospital Juliet. She said she was bleeding. She thinks she lost the baby," Sawyer whispered.

"Don't act like I'm not here," Kate cried, lifting her head off of Sawyer's shoulder. Sawyer couldn't help but let out a soft laugh and brushed his hand through her hair. He carried her out to Juliet's car and all 4 of them climbed in and made their way to the hospital. Sawyer sat in the back holding Kate, who couldn't seem to stop crying. Her tears subsided a few times, only to have Sawyer's comfort make her fall apart again.

"Freckles," Sawyer whispered in her ear. "You gotta calm down honey. It's gonna be ok."

"Can we get married tomorrow?" she asked.

"Well," he began. "We can go get the marriage license and we can do whatever else we gotta do. Can you do me a favor though and take a nice big breath?"

She did and she suddenly stopped crying. She rested her head on Sawyer's shoulder the rest of the car ride. When they got to the hospital Kate was able to walk inside, but she leaned on Sawyer for support. He walked with her into the emergency room, with Jack and Juliet following quickly behind them.

Kate was in with the doctor, and Sawyer and Jack were waiting in the waiting room alone. Juliet had gone to get coffee for everyone. Sawyer was tapping his foot rapidly and seemed to not know what was going on around him. Jack reached over and stopped his leg from moving.

"I can't lose them Doc," Sawyer mumbled. "If anything happens to either of them…I mean me and Kate…we haven't really had too much time to get used to the idea of being parents, but she's just so happy. I don't want that to be taken from her."

"She's gonna be ok," Jack assured him. "I don't know how…but I think she's gonna be just fine. And it's not even for sure that she lost the baby. She may be experiencing some bleeding, but that's normal."

"I dunno Doc," Sawyer shook his head. "If something happens to her…I should have been home with her instead of out getting drunk with you."

"I'm sorry," Jack mumbled. "But I promise you…I don't love you. So you can relax. I won't ever try to kiss you again."

They both heard a soft gasp coming from behind them. Juliet was standing holding three cups of coffee. She dropped all three of them making a black puddle on the floor. She went in the other direction and Jack quickly went after her. Sawyer went back to tapping his foot and waiting for the doctor to come get him.

Juliet was outside standing with her arms crossed over her chest and Jack caught up to her and held her by the shoulders. She sobbed softly but no tears were falling yet. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She wasn't crying just yet, but he could hear her trying to stifle sobs that were escaping her mouth.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "But I promise you…it's all done. I'm-everything I was feeling…it was jealousy that Kate became his new best friend. I felt like I was replaced and I just-listen to me Juliet."

She looked up at him sadly, but attentively. He ran his hand over her face and leaned toward her to kiss her. She turned her cheek and let out a soft scoff.

"Juliet," he began. "I don't love Sawyer. I was-we hung out tonight. We went to the bar and drank. We were on the way home and I stumbled and fell…Sawyer laughed at me so I tripped him and he fell too. It was like we were best friends again. We were sitting on the pavement laughing and-I dunno. I leaned in and kissed him. We got into a fight."

"That why he has a black eye?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Anyway…when I kissed him…I realized that I didn't want to. I was just-I dunno. I needed to know how I really felt. And now I know. I know that you're the only one for me Juliet. I love you. I don't love Sawyer. I mean-I care about him…he's still like a brother to me…but that's it. That's all it is."

Juliet leaned against his shoulder and took a deep sigh of relief. Jack wrapped his arms around her once more and held her tightly. They went back into the waiting room and Sawyer was gone. They could only guess that he was in with Kate.

Sawyer watched some of the people and wished that the doctor would hurry up. He always enjoyed people watching, especially seeing people in the ER was interesting, but all he wanted to do was go see Kate. The doctor came out and looked down at Sawyer. Sawyer bolted up and stared at the doctor.

"James Ford?" he asked. "Your girlfriend was asking for you."

"Fiancé," Sawyer argued.

"Whatever," the doctor chuckled. "She's ok…she wanted you to come in and see her."

"Ok," Sawyer nodded, following the doctor down the hall and into a room. She was laying in the bed getting an ultrasound. She was looking at the screen and crying softly. He could only guess the worst. When he got to the bed he took her by the hand and she turned toward him. She was still crying, but he couldn't tell if she was upset or happy. The nurse technician giving Kate the ultrasound smiled at the couple and then flicked a button. The room filled with the sound of the baby's heartbeat.

"See that flickering on the screen?" the nurse asked.

"That's the baby's heartbeat," Kate finished her sentence and looked at Sawyer.

"Can you tell what it is?" Sawyer asked softly.

"That's just about the cutest thing I've ever heard!" the nurse exclaimed. "When I had my baby my husband could care less if it was a boy or a girl. And sorry…it's still a little early to tell. What are you hoping for?"

"A girl," Kate replied.

"A boy," Sawyer answered simultaneously.

"Well at least one of you will be satisfied," the nurse chuckled. "I guarantee you that it will be a boy or a girl."

"You want a boy?" Kate asked.

"Oh I dunno," he sighed. "I just want you both to be healthy and live through this."

"Me too," she nodded.

"Can I take her home?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," the nurse answered. "You can go ahead."

"We don't have to fill out any paper work or anything?" he asked.

"Well most of it is already done," she responded. "And since Katherine wasn't actually admitted to the hospital she's free to go. You're going to be very happy Mrs. Austen."

"Ford," Kate corrected her. "It's going to be Mrs. Ford…in about 30 hours."

"Congratulations," the nurse smiled. "On the wedding and the baby."

The nurse left the room and Sawyer helped Kate into her clothes. Although she insisted that she didn't need any help, Sawyer insisted right back that he was going to help her anyway. They walked out into the hallway and saw Jack and Juliet waiting for them.

"You ok?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I'm fine…and so is the baby."

"Thank God," Jack whispered. "I would have felt really guilty."

"Why?" Kate asked.

"Because of what happened tonight," he shrugged. "I mean while I was kissing your husband-"

"Wait what?" Kate interrupted.

**A/N: Ok…so pretty much Jawyer is done. I mean they're still going to be friends, but I had to pick a side. Sorry. Anyway please review.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews as usual. And you guys always rock my world…or at least my day hehe. Hopefully you enjoy my chapter.**

Sawyer stared at the ceiling and then closed his eyes tightly. It was really the last thing they needed tonight was to start another horrible fight.

"Jack, what did you just say?" she asked. "Did you say that you kissed him?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. Sawyer quickly looked over at Kate, and was almost about to explain exactly everything that had happened, and then she did something unexpected. She burst into laughter, and had to hold on to Sawyer's shoulder for support. Sawyer helped her stand back up, but she put her forehead against his chest and continued to laugh. Sawyer smiled weakly at Jack and Juliet.

"Freckles?" he asked. "You alright?"

"Yeah," she said wiping the tears that had formed in her eyes, from laughing so hard and as she continued to try and speak she laughed through her words. "I'm fine. It's just-he kissed you-and you didn't-you didn't kick his ass-it kinda makes me wonder-"

"Hold it right there Ms. Austen," Sawyer said stopping her. "It just so happens that I punched him square in the nose."

"And then-" she continued, still laughing. "Did he hit you back? Is that what your black eye is from?"

"Yeah," Sawyer shrugged. "Kate-"

"Why would you do that Jack?" Kate asked, suddenly stopping her laughter, and looking at him seriously. "I mean-why would you go and ruin your friendship?"

"I didn't do it to ruin the friendship Kate," Jack shook his head. "And if you can't already tell we're still friends, so it didn't actually ruin anything. If nothing else it just brought us closer-well not in that way but-Kate I'm sorry I kissed your fiancé."

"Ok," she nodded. "I mean I'm not mad. Maybe a little confused. I mean I thought you were with Juliet. I thought you were so in love with her."

"I am," he responded. "Kate I'm-you know that I was having mixed feelings about Sawyer. I just needed to actually test them. I'm sure that Sawyer didn't exactly appreciate me acting on my feelings, but I needed to know. I had to know if what I was feeling was more than just jealousy."

"And?" Kate asked.

"It's over," Jack answered quickly. "I care about Sawyer a lot…but as a brother. Nothing more, nothing less. When I kissed him, I realized there was nothing between us. But I had to know, and I'm glad I do. So I'm not going to say that I wish I could take it back, because I don't. I know what my friendship to Sawyer means to me…and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize it."

That night Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed. Neither of them had talked much since the conversation about Jack kissing Sawyer. It was 2:00 in the morning and both of them were tired but neither of them could sleep.

"I kinda want to know what happened tonight," Kate whispered.

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. He told her the entire story about how Jack came to his work and they went out to drink, and the tripping each other. He didn't leave out a single detail, and when he was finish Kate was sleeping quietly. He kissed her on the cheek and then noticed that the strap to the camisole she was wearing had slid down her shoulder. He carefully pushed it back up her arm and kissed her shoulder and neck softly. She stirred slightly, and then he leaned down to kiss her again. Before his lips could touch her skin she woke up violently and they bumped heads. Kate grabbed her head and let out a moan.

"Sorry," he said genuinely. "I just couldn't-"

"Resist," she mumbled. "It's sweet Sawyer…but I'm too tired. I know that usually I'm totally up for a midnight love making, but right now I just wanna go to sleep. Can't we just wait until morning? And no excuses about-"

"Freckles, I wasn't trying to just get into your pants," he assured her. "I just wanted to kiss your shoulder. I'm tired too."

"If you're sure," she shrugged. "Because as long as I'm awake-"

Sawyer smirked at her and leaned in to kiss her and make her stop talking.

Kate sitting on a chair in the bathroom at the court house. She was wearing a nice dress, but not a wedding dress. She felt somewhat awkward having Juliet do her make-up. She never wore much make-up but it was a special occasion. She and Sawyer were going to be getting married. She blinked several times as Juliet tried to apply her eyeliner.

"Could you hold still?" Juliet asked, slightly exasperated.

"Sorry," Kate said, shifting in her seat. "I can't wait for tonight."

"Why?" Juliet chuckled. "It's not like it'll be your first time-"

"I know," Kate interrupted. "But it'll be the first time as a married couple."

"Well I can't wait till you have an actual real wedding. And I'm a bridesmaid. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid."

"What makes you think I'll even ask you to be a bridesmaid?" Kate asked.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "You're right. I guess I just-"

"Juliet, chill," Kate laughed. "You're pretty much my only friend…so of course you'll be a bridesmaid. But right now…I'm going to get married for real."

There was a soft tap on the door and one of the female employees came into the bathroom to give the girls a five minute warning. Kate stood up and smoothed out her dress. She never wore many dresses and in fact had borrowed the one she was wearing from Juliet. She took one last glance in the mirror and Juliet started quickly taking the curlers out of Kate's hair. Kate insisted that her hair was curly enough as it was without the hair curlers, but Juliet told her that she could make it look really elegant, with curly tendrils falling down Kate's back.

Kate walked into the court house room and over to where the judge was standing. Sawyer was standing at the front of the room too and looking very nervous. Kate saw Sawyer's grandma sitting in one of the chairs, with a nurse by her side. His grandma was grinning and watched as Kate walked toward her.

"Hi Grammy," Kate said softly. "I'm glad you made it."

"Me too dear," Grammy nodded.

Sawyer walked over to Kate and Grammy and took Grammy by the hand. He kissed her hand and then took Kate's hand. They walked toward the judge together. As the judged spoke the vows, Kate was barely paying attention. She was staring at Sawyer and feeling his hand squeezing hers. He kept grinning this giddy happy grin that only made her smile wider.

"I love you," he mouthed at her.

"I love you too," she mouthed back.

After they were married they went out to dinner with Jack and Juliet. Grammy's nurse insisted that she had to get back to the nursing home, so Sawyer and Kate took her. And then they went to meet Jack and Juliet for dinner. It was only 9:00, when they parted ways. Kate said she was getting tired, but everyone knew that it was only a lie. Sawyer didn't mind because he wanted to spend the rest of the night alone with Kate anyway.

Kate was standing in the bathroom at the hotel that she and Sawyer were staying at for the night. She was wiping the make-up off her face and Sawyer came up behind her and watched her in the mirror. She bent over the sink and started washing her face. Sawyer ran his hand carefully up the back of her neck and she spun around to look at him.

"Hey wife," he whispered. She smiled widely and couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle.

"Hi husband," she answered and wrapped her arms around his neck. He picked her up and let out a soft grunt.

"You're getting too heavy for me to pick up," he teased.

"Shut up," she scoffed, but smiled.

"What are you weighing these days?" he asked.

"Shut up," she repeated. "I'm pregnant. And you never ask a woman what she weighs, especially on her wedding day, you jerk."

"Sorry," he replied. "Won't happen again."

He carried her into the bedroom area and set her down gingerly on the bed. She looked up at him almost curiously. His black eye was still there, but it was going away. She touched it softly and then leaned up to kiss him.

**3 Weeks Later**

Kate was sitting on the couch with her feet up. She had her hands resting on her stomach, which was only a tiny bump, but it was big enough for her to see. Juliet came into the room and sat down next to her.

"Kate," she whispered.

"Yeah," Kate nodded.

" I need to ask you to do something for me," she said softly.

"Ok," Kate said furrowing her eyebrows.

"It's the baby," she continued.

"I'll go call Jack," Kate replied, beginning to get up.

"No," Juliet chuckled. "No…I'm fine. The baby's fine. I just-the only reason why I'm still alive is because of this baby. I would already be dead if I wasn't pregnant. I have this feeling that I'm not going to last much longer. I think I can live long enough for the baby to survive, but I think that I might die before I-"

"No you're not," Kate interrupted. "Jack will make sure of it. The way that Jack takes care of you…he's determined. He won't let you die."

"Kate, you know as well as I do, that Jack really has nothing to say about this. I'm going to die," she said again. "And I want you to make sure that Jack's ok. I want you to make sure that the baby is too. I think that Jack will fall apart…and I just don't want him to-I want him to live for our baby."

"Well did you tell him that?" she asked. "Because I can try all I want, but if Jack doesn't know that this is your last wish…he won't have much of an incentive."

"I'll tell him," she nodded. "But I want you to do me a favor. If something happens. If for some reason Jack can't take care of the baby. You do it. Please. Be momma to my baby…and Sawyer can even be the daddy if Jack can't be there. But if you two end up raising my baby…I want her to call you mommy and daddy. I don't want to deny my child of that one simple thing."

"Mommy and daddy, Kate and Sawyer, what's the difference Juliet?" she asked. "I don't know how comfortable I would be about having your baby calling me mommy."

"I named her," Juliet smiled weakly. "I named her Audra. I was gonna call her Aud."

"It's pretty," Kate nodded.

"It means strength," Juliet sniffled. "And she's my only strength Kate."

"It's gonna be ok," Kate assured her. "I mean…you're acting like you're already dead…and you're not. You could very well come through all this. You're going to be a mommy Juliet. And I refuse to start calling this child mine until it actually happens."

"I guess I won't be a bridesmaid after all," Juliet frowned. Kate looked at her sadly and then wrapped her arms around her as Juliet fell into tears.

That night Kate was laying next to Sawyer. He was reading softly to the baby. He had gotten a stack of baby books from one of his customers at work and so they had started reading to the baby. Kate thought it was kinda lame, and as a matter of fact so did Sawyer, but he couldn't help but read to Kate's stomach every night. He thought it was unfair that the baby got to hear Kate's voice all day every day, so this was the 30 minutes every night that the baby could hear his voice too.

"The baby is going to be sick of those books before it's even born," Kate chuckled as Sawyer read Cat in the Hat for the 4th time that week.

"Is that code, for you're sick of them?" he asked.

"Kinda," she chuckled. "But it's sweet. Y'know Sawyer…there's something that I want to talk to you about."

"What?" he asked.

"Today," she began. "Today Juliet asked me if I could take her baby if anything happened to her and Jack. She thinks she's going to die. She thinks she's going to die before she even gives birth. She thinks-I dunno exactly but she asked me if I would take the baby."

"What's wrong with the father?" he questioned. "Y'know the doctor…he lives here too…pays most of the rent."

"Well I think-" she sighed. "Well…if he falls apart. And also, I think she's nervous that he won't have enough time for the baby. She wants us to be the baby's parents…if Jack can't."

"We're all best friends," Sawyer responded. "Best friends help each other…so I guess we don't really have much of a choice."

"But will you," she began. "I mean if worse comes to worse…will you be Audra's daddy."

"Audra?" he asked, making a face.

"It's the name Juliet picked," Kate said, with a slight warning. "And it means strength."

"Well don't I feel like a doo doo head," he mumbled.

"Doo doo head?" she asked.

"Well I can't swear around the baby," he argued. "He has ears you know?"

"I was sitting right there when the doctor told us, and you're still hell bent on a boy aren't you?" she chuckled softly.

"Not hell bent," he shook his head.

"Sawyer give me a break," she laughed. "You already went out and bought a little baby basket ball."

"So what?" he asked. "Would you rather that I wasn't at all interested? Because you can start going to the doctor's appointments alone."

"No," she answered. "I think it's really cute and sweet. It kinda makes me want to have another one."

"Oh lord, just one at a time thank you very much," he said rubbing his forehead.

"Ok," she nodded. "But then what do you think? I mean about taking care of little Aud?"

"I think that as Jack's best friends, it's our job to be there for him," he replied. "We'll make him be a good daddy to Audra. And he's excited about being a father. I'm sure that he's not going to completely lose it. He'll have to stay afloat for the baby right?"

"Not necessarily," she mumbled softly.

**A/N: Review? Please? Please? Review? **


	23. Chapter 23

**4 Months Later**

Juliet was laying next to Jack. He was snoring and she closed her eyes tightly. She wanted to be as content as Jack. She wanted to forget all her troubles. She knew that she was going to die. She didn't even know if she would survive long enough for the baby. Technically if the baby was born now, she would probably survive, but she would have medical problems for probably her entire life. She didn't want her baby going through that. Juliet suddenly felt nauseous and ran toward the bathroom. She put her head into the toilet and puked. She let out a soft sob and stood up. She closed her eyes, bent her head down and splashed water on her face. When she stood back up Jack was standing behind her. She gasped loudly, being startled, and not feeling him there before. He hushed her quietly and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He kissed her neck and she bit her lip and let out another sob.

"Jules," he whispered. "Are you ok?"

"No," she shook her head. "Jack-you have to do me a favor ok? Take care of the baby. When I'm gone, just-love her and take care of her Jack."

"Juliet, what are you talking about?" he asked.

"I can't-" she sighed. "I don't want to die knowing that our daughter isn't going to be taken care of. Jack…you gotta protect her. You gotta be there for her."

"Juliet," he started and put his hands on he cheeks. "I will be there for her. And so will you. Audra can't grow up without a mommy. So you'll be there too."

"Jack," she whispered and sniffled.

"Baby," he began again, and put his hand against her stomach. "You are going to live. I'm going to fix you as soon as you give birth."

"Jack," she whispered. "I'm dying…I'm going to die. And the sooner that we both admit it the sooner we can just deal with it. I asked Kate if she and Sawyer could help you out, and Kate agreed. She said that she would help you."

"I can't-" he sighed. "I can't do this-you can't die Juliet…I won't let you."

"No," she shook her head. "Stop. Just-stop. You'll make yourself crazy. Accept it-"

"No!" he screamed. "No. You are not going to leave me all by myself to do this-I can't do this by myself Juliet."

"You won't be by yourself," she whispered. "You'll have Kate…and Sawyer…and you'll have Audra."

Jack walked away from Juliet leaving her in the bathroom by herself. She let out another soft sob and followed him back into the bedroom. Instead of starting more of a fight, she laid down in the bed next to Jack and they both fell asleep quickly.

* * *

Sawyer had his arms around Kate's stomach. He was running his hands gently over her belly which was starting to get bigger. She shifted slightly in his arms, but stayed asleep. She had been having a hard time sleeping the past month because she was still scared of losing the baby. She would have nightmares nearly every night that were so real that she would wake up crying. Sawyer did everything that he knew how to try and keep her calm, but nothing he ever said or did seemed to make a difference. Kate knew that he was only trying to help, and she knew that he always had her best interest at heart, but even with all the support from Sawyer, she still had underlying fears that she was going to lose the baby. She just wanted to prepare herself, just in case.

She started moving in his arms and Sawyer held on to her tighter to try and settle her down. They found out that they were going to have a girl. Sawyer was slightly disappointed, but he started buying a bunch of girly clothes and toys. Every day when he'd come home from work, he would have a new surprise for Kate. They both started thinking about names they liked. Kate adored the name Sammy. She always wanted a daughter named Samantha and she'd call her Sammy. She knew she still had 6 months left of her pregnancy and she didn't want to get too attached to the name, because she was still convinced that she was going to lose the baby.

Since there was only one extra bedroom and two babies on the way Kate decided that their baby would be the one to stay in their bedroom. This annoyed Sawyer more. He didn't get why they didn't just move out, but Kate insisted that she wanted to be with Juliet through the whole process.

She started shaking and she woke up with a deep gasp. She flipped toward Sawyer who was still holding her, but only let go of her enough to let her turn over and then wipe her tears. She let out a sob and then pressed her face against his chest.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"If you say 'it's going to be ok' one more time," she shook her head. "Sawyer I know you're only trying to help, and I'm sure I've been a royal bitch lately, but I'd really rather wallow than hear about how ok it's going to be. Sawyer I'm going to lose the baby. The sooner it happens-"

"Shh," he said leaning toward her and kissing her softly. "Don't. Kate it's just a dream. And you're only dreaming about it because you're thinking about it constantly."

"I know," she sniffled. "You're right…you're right…I just can't help thinking-"

"Don't think," he said running his hand over her face. "Just go back to sleep."

He kissed her on the nose and they both fell back to sleep.

**2 Weeks Later**

Kate was standing outside of the bathroom knocking on the door. Juliet had been in the bathroom for 15 minutes, and Kate had to go badly. She kept asking Juliet if she was ok, and Juliet kept right on insisting that she was fine. Kate didn't really think that Juliet was fine, but she still waited.

"Juliet!" Kate exclaimed. "I am going to pee all over the floor if you don't let me in right now…and then I'm going to make you clean it up. I don't care if you're nearly 8 months pregnant. I have to go! Come on we're both girls…I'll pee in the bathtub if I need to but please-"

Mid-sentence the door opened slowly and Kate ran inside. She didn't bother with the details, but ran toward the toilet and sat down with a deep sigh of relief. She closed her eyes and then opened them and looked down at Juliet. Juliet was sitting on the floor in a pool of blood. Kate gasped loudly and quickly stood up.

"Juliet!" she exclaimed. "Oh God. Why didn't you-ok…I'll go call Jack."

Juliet nodded slowly and Kate ran from the room. She grabbed the phone and dialed as she quickly went back toward the bathroom. The phone rang 4 times and then went to voicemail.

"Dammit Jack!" Kate exclaimed softly. "Ok. Juliet…you're going to be ok. I'm going to call Sawyer."

Kate dialed Sawyer's work phone number and the phone rang 5 times, and no one was answering. She was about to hang up when she heard the receiver click.

"Ford Auto Repair," Sawyer's voice breathed. "How can I help you?"

"Sawyer!" Kate yelled, with tears coming into her eyes.

"Kate," he said. "Kate, oh…baby are you ok?"

"No," she sobbed. "It's-"

"I'll be right there," he said before Kate could tell him what happened. Kate sat down next to Juliet and took her in her arms. Kate's hands shook as she dialed 9-1-1.

"9-1-1," the operator said, way too happily for Kate. "What's your emergency?"

"Um," Kate breathed. "My friend. She's-she's bleeding really badly. She's pregnant."

"Ok, can you tell where the blood is coming from?" the operator asked.

"No," she sniffled. "I came into the bathroom and she was sitting-please, just send an ambulance."

"Are you there by yourself sweetie?" she asked.

"Yes," Kate answered. "I'm pregnant too…I just-I can't get her to the car. Please send someone."

"Ok," she replied. "Calm down. Tell me your name."

"K-Kate," she stated.

"Ok Kate, it's gonna be ok, I'm sending an ambulance right now," she told her. "What's your address?"

"216 North Maple," Kate answered. "Please hurry. I don't know-I'm not a doctor, but there's a lot of blood."

"Ok," she said calmly. "Just hold on. We're sending someone right now."

Kate knew that she should probably stay on the phone with the operator till someone got there, but she was too anxious and didn't know what to do. She hung up the phone and wrapped her arms around Juliet. Kate heard sirens and got up quickly. She ran to the door and opened it. The sirens were fire truck sirens and they sped passed their house. She sighed to herself and left the front door opened. She didn't want to leave Juliet alone. When she got back to the bathroom Juliet was lying on the floor with her eyes closed.

"Juliet!" Kate screamed. "No! Juliet wake up! Wake up honey!"

She heard the gravel crunching in the driveway and knew that Sawyer was home. She stood up and ran to the door. She had some of Juliet's blood on her clothes from sitting down next to her. When Sawyer came up the steps and saw her he gasped loudly.

"Ok," he said. "We're gonna get you to the hospital."

"Sawyer not me," she sobbed. "Juliet."

Kate fell against Sawyer and sobbed almost uncontrollably. He rubbed her head gently and walked with her back to the bathroom where Juliet was passed out. Before Sawyer could pick her up they both heard loud sirens. Someone knocked on the door before letting himself in. 4 paramedics came into the house, bringing with them a gurney. They wheeled Juliet out of the house and both Kate and Sawyer followed closely.

"We can only take one of you," the paramedic stated.

"Freckles you go," Sawyer replied. "I'll meet you there…I'm gonna see if I can track down Jack."

"Ok," she breathed. "He's probably already at the hospital."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "But I've got another idea."

Kate was sitting in the waiting room by herself. She tried calling Jack 3 more times, and each time it went to his voicemail. She was starting to get angry with him. Especially since Juliet was so pregnant and she could go into labor any day. She was sitting with her head resting against her hand. Her eyes flickered shut and she fell asleep.

* * *

"Back OFF!" Sawyer's voice screamed. Kate opened her eyes, and instead of sitting in the waiting room she was laying in a hospital bed. She looked around the room slightly confused and then saw Sawyer. He came into the room angerly, but then saw Kate and his expression softened. He smiled at her weakly and went to her bedside.

"Hey," he whispered and brushed his hand over her forehead. "How you feeling?"

"S-sawyer what happened?" she asked. "Why am I laying in this bed?"

"You don't remember?" he asked. "Juliet said you were conscious…before."

"Before what?" she asked. "What are you talking about? Sawyer what's going on."

"Juliet found you," he mumbled. "She said you had been in the bathroom for 15 minutes, when you finally let her in the room."

"What?" she asked. "No...she was-she was the one. Remember? I called you and you came right home? Sawyer what's going on?"

"Freckles," he began. "God...you don't remember. Kate...you were bleeding-"

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Freckles," he whispered.

"No," she shook her head, coming to a certain realization. "No…no Sawyer. No. You told me everything was going to be ok-"

"I know what I told you," he said closing his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

She covered her face and then remembered. It wasn't Juliet…it was her. It was Kate. She was the one bleeding on the bathroom floor. When she saw Juliet go from the room to call Sawyer, she had fallen asleep. It had been her all along. She sobbed hard and uncontrollably. Sawyer climbed into bed next to her and cradled her. He kissed her on the side of the face and held her in his arms.

* * *

Juliet found Kate laying on the bathroom floor. She called Sawyer immediately and he came home quickly. She called Jack too, and Jack hadn't answered his phone. When Kate was put into the ambulance Sawyer went with her. Juliet drove over to the bar because she thought that Jack might be there. She saw his car in the parking lot and went to drag him outside. She was pissed that he was at the bar instead of at work. When they got into the parking lot she started hitting him in anger. He kept trying to explain and protest, but she was too mad. She got into the car and slammed the door. He opened his door and sat down in the seat next to her

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I just-I was-"

"Getting drunk?" she scoffed looking at him. "You were getting drunk, instead of working?"

"I'm scared Juliet," he mumbled. "You keep telling me that you're going to die, and I can't-I dunno. I can't handle it if you died Juliet. I just can't."

"Ok," she nodded. "I understand. I'll give you another chance. But Jackson Christopher Shephard, if you ever do that to me again…I will never forgive you."

"Ok," he nodded. "I hear you."

Now they were in the waiting room. Sawyer was pacing back and forth. The doctors didn't know anything. They had all been at the hospital in the waiting room for almost 20 minutes before a doctor came out. The doctor walked over to Sawyer.

"If you don't tell me what's going on right now-" Sawyer started.

"You're Kate's husband?" the doctor asked.

"Yes!" he yelled. "What is gong on?!"

"She's ok," the doctor replied. "She's alright, but she-the doctor is going in to let her know...but she lost the baby."

"What?" Sawyer asked, almost acting as if he really didn't hear what the doctor said."

"She lost-" the doctor began again.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"I told you, the doctor is in with her right now," the doctor stated.

"Don't get all rude," Sawyer scoffed. "I want to go see her right the hell now, and you're going to let me see her or we're really going to have some problems. You're just going to let a complete stranger tell Kate what happened?"

"Sir calm down, it's policy," the doctor sighed.

"I don't care!" he yelled. "Let me in to see my wife right now!"

Sawyer walked toward where he knew the patients rooms were. He started looking into the rooms, and the doctor started protesting.

"Sir you need to stop, or I'm going to have to call security," the doctor continued.

"Go ahead!" he yelled. "Call them! I don't care. But let me in to see my wife."

They came to Kate's room and the doctor still stopped Sawyer from going into the room. Sawyer pushed him backwards into the room and the doctor sitting next to Kate was trying to coax her awake.

"You'll really want to get away from her," Sawyer said into the doctor's ear.

"I'm only doing my job sir."

"Y'know I'm really sick of being called Sir," he stated. "It's really condecending. Now back off of my wife...Back OFF!"

* * *

Back in the waiting room Jack and Juliet were sitting in the chairs. Juliet was holding her stomach. She had, had a couple of contractions since finding Kate, but she didn't think anything of it at first. She thought maybe they were just false labor contractions from the stress of finding Kate with all that blood. But now they were happening every 15 minutes. She couldn't be going into labor. She just couldn't.

"Juliet," Jack whispered. "I can feel you moving."

"What are you talking about?" she asked with a sniffle.

"You're shifting."

"I'm 8 months pregnant Jack," she told him. "I can't really ever get comfortable."

"You're having contractions aren't you?" he asked.

"No," she lied.

"You're lying. Doctor!" Jack yelled.

"No," she shook her head. "It's too soon Jack! Audra has to stay in me as long as she can!"

"Kate's baby is dead!" Jack exclaimed. "Do you want Audra to die? Do you want to die? Because you have to take care of this now!"

"I know," she sobbed. "Please…just don't yell at me."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm just-you gotta take care of this right now…before it's too late."

A doctor rushed over toward them and they were taken immediately into one of the side rooms. There were a few doctors working on Juliet and beginning to take some of her vitals.

"She's 8 months pregnant, and she's been having contractions," Jack told them.

"And she can speak for herself," Juliet stated. "They've been coming about every 15 minutes."

"Don't press too hard," Jack said as the doctors started pushing on Juliet's stomach. "You're going to hurt her. She's-"

"Sir we know what we're doing," the nurse that was examining Juliet stated. "We're professionals."

"Yeah, well I'm in med school too and you need to be more careful," Jack scoffed. "What are you doing with that?!"

"Jack, it's an IV...you're definitely a regular here in the ER, I would think that you would be used to that by now," one of the nurses who obviously knew him stated.

"I know what it is, but you're not doing it carefully enough," he scoffed.

"Jack, y'know what you need to leave," the head doctor stated. "Let us take care of Juliet. Come on. Leave. If anything happens and we're going to go into the delivery room or something...then I'll let you know."

Jack was sitting by himself in the waiting room. He couldn't believe that he had gotten kicked out of the room. She seemed to be doing fine though, and the doctor did assure him that they would get him as soon as anything changed. Jack waited for Sawyer or Kate to come out. He knew that Kate would want to know what was going on, but he left her alone for now.

"Jack," a doctor came up to him. "We need to take Juliet into surgery. I need you to wait out here. We're going to give you as many updates as we can, but for now we're just trying to save them both."

"Wait what happened?" Jack asked.

"She's starting to bleed out Jack," he sighed. "But I gotta get back so I can try and save her."

Jack would have protested, but the doctor disappeared again. Jack waited alone again and this time wasn't calm at all. All he wanted to do was go through the door and help save Juliet, but he knew that they would only call security and kick him out. He was scared of losing both of his girls.

* * *

"Do you need anything Freckles?" Sawyer whispered, giving her another kiss on the forehead.

"I need my baby Sawyer," she sniffled. "I can't do this. I can't-I can't stay here. I want to see the baby."

"Honey," he shook his head.

"No," she answered. "I mean-I want to go see the babies in the nursery."

"Kate," he began.

"Please."

He nodded gently and helped Kate into the wheelchair. He knew the doctors were going to try to stop him, but he didn't care. Amazingly when they left the room and Sawyer explained about Kate just wanting to go down to see the babies in the nursery the doctors let them go. A nurse tagged along, but Sawyer pushed the wheelchair. When they got there Kate stood up and looked in at the babies. She turned her head toward Sawyer and let out a soft sob.

"Are you sure you want to do this Freckles?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded, and she looked back at the babies. As they stood there A nurse wheeled in a brand new baby. Kate looked carefully at the baby and then gasped.

"Sawyer look!" she exclaimed. On the name tag in the tiny baby bed, the words read: **Baby Burke. Female…5 lbs 14 oz. **"Do you think that's-?"

"I dunno," he shrugged.

"Juliet isn't doing well," they both heard a nurse reply as she went into the nursery. "What are they going to tell Jack?"

Kate looked over at Sawyer and sat down in the wheelchair. He quickly wheeled her back through the hospital. The nurse walking behind them had to practically jog in order to keep up with them. It took them almost 10 minutes to get from the nursery to the ER waiting room. When they got there Jack was talking to one of the doctors. He was shaking his head and looked almost confused.

"Shi-" Sawyer began. "She must not have-"

"Don't even think that James Ford," Kate interrupted. Kate got up out of the wheelchair and walked over to Jack. Jack looked at her and then Sawyer. He had hot tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Jack," the doctor said quietly. "But your daughter is ok. She's upstairs in the nursery. She's actually big for being a month early."

"Wait," Kate said grabbing the doctor's sleeve. "Doctor please. What happened?"

"Juliet had cancer," the doctor told her. "Her body was fending off the infection, but only in the uterus where the baby was. She gave birth and then started hemorrhaging. I'm so sorry. She didn't make it."

"What?" Kate asked. "NO! We can't-too much loss in one day. I don't-what happened?"

"I just told-" he started.

"I know you just hold me," she snapped. "Why don't you go do something useful, like actually saving a life?"

Kate almost collapsed into tears. Sawyer came behind her and caught her before she fell. He held her in his arms as she fell apart. He looked at Jack and shook his head. He held out his hand for Jack to take. Jack shook his head and lowered himself down into the chair.

"Sorry Doc," Sawyer mumbled. "I'm sorry. I don't-"

"If you don't know what to say," Jack began. "Maybe you should just stop talking."

"Sorry," he repeated.

"I gotta get out of here," Jack sighed. "See you at home."

Sawyer helped Kate back to her room. He knew that he should probably follow Jack, before something bad happened to Jack. He knew that Jack was going to do something crazy. Probably go get trashed. He went back and forth in his head.

"Go Sawyer," Kate said. "Go get him. Force him to go look at his daughter. Force him to go give her a real name."

"I'll be back," he stated kissing her on the forehead and rushing from the room. He ran into the parking lot and caught Jack at is car.

"Go away Sawyer," Jack said trying to unlock the door. "Go back to Kate. She needs you."

"Not as much as your daughter needs you Jack," Sawyer replied. "Jack…come on. You need to come and look at your beautiful daughter. I mean did you even hear the doctor when he said your daughter lived?"

"Yeah I heard him," Jack mumbled. "But I can't-"

"Yes…actually you can," Sawyer argued. "You promised Juliet. So get your ass together and come upstairs with me to see your daughter."

Jack followed him reluctantly. They walked up to the nursery and looked in on the babies. Sawyer pointed to the baby that said "Baby Burke".

"She doesn't even have my last name," Jack mumbled.

"Jack," Sawyer replied. "It's because she has Juliet's last name. But you need to go in there and sign the birth certificate. As of right now…Baby Burke is just Baby Burke. She doesn't have a name or parents. So get your ass in there and name your daughter."

"I don't know what to name her," Jack said weakly.

"Come on Jack," Sawyer scoffed. "I know that it's hard, and I know that you're upset about Juliet, but can you honestly tell me that you forgot what your daughter's name is? What have you been calling her for the past 4 months?"

"Ok," he whispered. "I know."

Jack walked into the nursery and began talking to one of the nurses. He started writing on a piece of paper which Sawyer could only guess was the birth certificate. The nurse took the card out of the baby bed put a new one in. This one said **Shephard, Audra Burke**. Jack walked over to the baby bed and put his finger against her cheek. He let out a soft sob and then left the room. Sawyer put a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack leaned against Sawyer's shoulder and cried softly.

**A/N: OK…I'm like the worst person in the world. Hah. I know. I suck. But I've seriously been planning this for a while. I hope that I get lots of reviews, and I hope everyone isn't mad at me. Hah. I promise that it will all get fixed. Anyway Please review!!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Ok…so this chapter kinda jumps ahead a lot, but I hope it's ok.**

_1 Week Later_

Kate walked up the steps in the hospital. She went to the nursery and looked in at Audra. She looked so beautiful and content. Not a care in the world. She had no idea that her mom was dead. She was standing in front of the window staring at the baby. She felt someone come up behind her, and put arms around her. She smiled weakly and turned toward Sawyer.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Are you ok Freckles?" he asked. "You've been up here every day for the last week."

"I know," she nodded. "I just wanna take her home. The doctor said she could come home today. She deserves to be with Jack."

"Jack wants nothing to do with her," Sawyer mumbled. "He hasn't been up here even once to see his own daughter. He doesn't even understand that we can't-he's a selfish bastard."

"He's in mourning Sawyer," Kate shook her head. "I mean he lost Juliet. What would you do if our baby had lived, and I died? I mean…he's-"

"I'd be devastated too Kate," he argued. "But I would suck it up and take care of my daughter!"

"Ok," she whispered. "Shh. Shh. Stop yelling."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm sorry. I just-it pisses me off. He's taking Audra for granted…getting drunk every night for the past week. He just-it's really just-"

"Me too," she answered. "I'm pissed too. But I really can't do anything about it…accept for take care of that little girl in there."

That night after they got Audra home Kate was in the living room holding her. Sawyer was in the kitchen making dinner for Kate and himself. Jack had come up to the nursery to give Sawyer and Kate permission to take Audra home and then he went back out. He was going to the bar to drink.

Kate was looking down at Audra in awe. Sawyer walked into the living room and set down the plates of food. He looked down at Audra too and put his arm around Kate.

"Isn't she beautiful Sawyer?"

"Eh," he shrugged.

"She's us Sawyer," she whispered. "Our little baby. This little life that we-"

"Freckles," he said touching his hand to her face. She looked up at him with tears welling in her eyes. She shook her head and sniffled.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm-I'm crazy."

"No you're not," he shook his head. "It's ok Kate."

_4 Months Later_

Sawyer had gone back to work immediately, but he always came home at 5:00 to help Kate take care of the baby, or at least to give her a break. Jack continued to stay out. He worked almost constantly and when he wasn't working he was staying out all night at the bars. He acknowledged Audra somewhat, but most of the time he was too drunk.

Kate was feeding Audra a bottle when Sawyer got home. She was singing a soft lullaby. She looked absolutely natural with the baby. Sawyer smiled widely and walked over to her.

"You're a natural mom Kate," he told her and sat down.

"Really?" she asked. "Because I'm not so sure. I mean-I made a promise to Juliet that I would take care of Audra when Jack fell apart, but I never actually anticipated him falling apart. I'm just-if I were actually natural why haven't I been able to have a baby?"

"I dunno Freckles," he shrugged. "Maybe you were just destined to be Audra's mom."

"Can you do me a favor?" she smiled. "I need to leave for a little while ok? I mean-can you just take care of Audra for a little bit?"

"You're not going to go to the bars are ya?" he asked with a soft chuckle.

"Yep," she nodded seriously. "I'm going to get Audra's daddy back if it kills me."

"Well please don't let it kill you," he whispered leaning in and kissing her. "And hurry back."

"I'm gonna be back as soon as I get him to come home with me," she answered. "I'm really glad that we decided to stay here. I mean Audra needs us."

"I know," he nodded. "Now go get her daddy back."

Kate smiled and handed him the baby. She left the house quickly and drove to the nearest bar. She wasn't sure if that's the bar that she would find Jack at or not. When she got there she didn't see his car, but she knew that he could still be there anyway. She parked the car and went into the bar. The cigarette smoke was almost overwhelming when she went through the door. She looked around the bar and didn't see Jack. She turned around to leave and there was a man standing in her way.

"'scuse me," Kate said sweetly.

"Hey baby," he slurred. "Do you want a drink?"

"Actually I gotta get going," she answered.

"No you don't," he shook his head. "You just got here."

"I'm looking for a friend," she replied. "He's not here, so I gotta go find him."

"Stay for a drink first," he argued.

"No," she said firmly. "I'm not staying. I don't drink and drive. Besides that I'm married, so I don't have drinks with strange men."

She held up her finger and showed the guy her ring. He grabbed be roughly by the wrist and looked at her ring. She breathed in deep and was terrified about what he might try to do to her. She tried to get out of his grip but he was holding her way too tight. She whimpered softly and the guy held her even tighter. Suddenly the man was torn away from her and shoved up against the wall.

"Leave her alone," a familiar voice said behind her. "You better just back the hell off."

The man walked away and Kate turned toward the voice. Since he started talking she thought she recognized the voice, and then when she turned around she saw her old friend from high school Tom. She gasped loudly and wrapped her arms around him.

"Tom!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I had some business," he answered. "What are you doing here Katie?"

"I live here," she responded with a smile.

"So you're married?" he said shaking his head, but smiling widely. "Who would have ever thought that Katherine Austen would be married?"

"Thanks a lot Tom," she scoffed, shoving him jokingly. "Just because-"

"I meant because you never stay long enough anywhere to let anyone get close to you," he told her gently. "I mean the night I told you that I was in love with you, you left."

"I was leaving that night anyway Tom," she argued.

"I know," he nodded. "But I thought maybe if I told you how I felt-"

"I'd stay?" she asked.

"Yeah, maybe," he mumbled. "I dunno."

"You know that Iowa wasn't the place for me," she told him. "It wasn't my scene. I needed to be somewhere bigger."

"With more people," he smiled. "Even less of a chance of getting close to anyone."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know."

"So are you looking for your husband?" he asked. "Is that who-"

"Not my husband," she shook her head. "Just a good friend. He's in some trouble. I dunno where he could be, but I need to find him."

"Ok," he smirked. "I hope to see you around Katie."

"You too," she nodded. "Hey…how about you come over tomorrow for dinner. I'll give you my address, and we'll have a nice dinner."

"Alright," he answered.

Kate drove around to 3 more bars, before she finally came across Jack's car. She went into the bar and immediately saw him passed out on the bar. The bartender was trying to wake him up. He was hitting him lightly on the cheek and waiting for him to wake up. Kate walked over to the bartender and smiled weakly.

"He belong to you?" the bartender asked. She nodded slightly and smacked Jack hard on the cheek. He moaned and woke up.

"Unfortunately," she answered. "Let's go Jackass. And you better be glad that Juliet ain't here to see you like this or she'd kick your sorry ass."

"Shut up Kate!" he screamed. He swung his arm to push her away, and missed her by mere inches. "Don't you dare talk about her-"

"Screw you Jack," she half sobbed. "I'm just-your daughter needs you! You promised Juliet that you'd take care of her and you're not. Me and Sawyer are taking care of her."

"I don't care," he said.

"Yeah," she nodded. "That's real clear Jack. Have a good night. Try not to get into an accident on your way home."

Kate got home and put her forehead against the steering wheel. Sawyer heard her coming home and walked outside to greet her. He was actually going to help her get Jack into the house. She got out of the car and walked into his arms. He hugged her and let out a soft sigh.

"He didn't come home with you?" Sawyer asked.

"Does it look like he did?" she scoffed, and then shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm just-I'm tired. I'm exhausted in fact."

"Because of Audra," he told her.

"Well yeah, but it's not like I have much of a choice. Audra is my responsibility," she stated.

"No," he argued. "Audra is Jack's responsibility, and he needs to realize that Audra needs him."

"He won't," she shook his head. "I mean hopefully he will eventually, but as of right now…he won't."

"Let's go inside then. She's sleeping. And I think you should try and get some sleep while you can."

Kate was sleeping soundly. Sawyer was sitting up in the bed reading to himself. He heard Audra beginning to fuss and quickly stood up and ran into her bedroom. He picked up one of the toys and then picked up Audra. Audra's room was filled with all the toys that Sawyer and Kate had bought for their own baby. Kate insisted that Audra should have them, even though Sawyer thought that they should get rid of them because it would be too painful. He held Audra in the rocking chair and she didn't stop crying.

"Oh come on," he whispered. "Please don't wake up Kate. She needs some sleep. Here…lemme read you a book. I used to read this one to Sammy. Sammy was going to be kinda like a sister to you."

Sawyer picked up Cat in the Hat and started reading.

"The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play," he began. Audra cooed up at him and stopped fussing. He continued to read. She reached up and grabbed on to his hair.

"Da," she said softly. Sawyer wasn't sure if Audra was calling him Da, or just babbling, but he told himself that it was just senseless babbling. He fell asleep as he read with Audra laying in his arms.

Kate woke up to her bed empty. She moaned to herself and then heard Sawyer snoring on the baby monitor. She stood up and rubbed her eyes. She was still really confused as to where Sawyer was. He was obviously in the baby's room, but she didn't get it, especially since she was still half asleep. She walked toward the baby's room and saw the precious sight of Sawyer and the baby sleeping in the rocking chair. She smiled to herself and walked over to them. She picked up Audra and carefully placed her into the crib without waking her up. She put her hand on Sawyer's shoulder.

"James," she whispered. "Come on honey. Let's go to bed."

"Hmm," he moaned and woke up. "What? What's gong on?"

"You fell asleep," she smiled. "Come on."

She helped him stand up and they walked back into their bedroom. Kate laid down first and Sawyer followed her. He put his arms around her and placed his hands above her stomach.

"Lower," she whispered.

"Katherine Ford," he chuckled.

"No," she said, moving his hand to her stomach. "Sawyer…I'm scared."

"Ok," he whispered. "What do you want to do babe? I mean-"

"I want this more than anything," she sniffled. "I say…we try once more…just one more time."

"Alright," he replied.

"But if it happens again Sawyer," she shook her head. "I don't know what I'll do."

"It's ok baby," he whispered. "Everything is going to be ok."

**A/N: OK so I haven't gotten as many reviews lately. I dunno if that's just because it's not good anymore, or if people just haven't had the time to review. Either way, please please try to review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: So this fic will probably last a little while longer, but I'm just not sure how much longer. Heh. It'll be a couple more chapters at least.**

_**2 Months Later**_

Jack was still inattentive of Audra, but he was coming home more often, and not staying out as late. Kate still felt uncomfortable leaving the baby monitor in Jack's room because there were still the couple nights he would stay out all night. She didn't worry about losing her baby because she thought maybe if she didn't worry so much it would put less stress on her. She still spent every day alone with Audra because Sawyer and Jack were at work. She didn't mind, but she still thought that Jack could spend more time at home.

When Sawyer got home that night, he went into the house and Kate was sitting on the couch holding Audra, with tears streaming down her face. He rushed toward her and put his hands on her cheeks.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Oh," she sniffled and then chuckled. "Stupid movie."

He looked toward the television and saw that she was watching Steel Magnolias. He chuckled and sat down next to her. She rested her head on his shoulder and Audra reached toward him.

"Daddy," she said. He picked her up and sighed to himself.

"Sawyer," he stated, trying to make her mimic him. "Daddy is at work."

"Don't you think that Jack should be upset that his daughter is calling you daddy?" Kate asked with a soft scoff.

"Yeah," he nodded. "But obviously he doesn't care too much. I mean Audra has been calling you momma and me daddy for months now. To be honest I think I'm more bugged by it than Jack is."

It was only 3 hours later and Jack walked through the door. Not so much walked, as stumbled. Sawyer was sitting in the living room and looked at Jack in disgust. Kate was in Audra's room with her reading her a story. She wasn't really paying attention, but played with Kate's hair instead. Kate kept taking her hair away from Audra, but that would only cause whining.

"Mama," Audra said lovingly. Kate sighed to herself and kissed Audra on the forehead.

* * *

"What is your problem?" Jack asked.

"Well Kate and I have been taking care of your daughter all night," he scoffed. "Jack, she's not going to be able to do this for that much longer. I mean-Kate's pregnant…she can't take care of a baby and herself."

"What would you like me to do?" Jack questioned. "Quit my job? Because if I quit you couldn't stay here."

"I don't think it's a good idea for us to stay here anymore Jack," Sawyer shook his head. "I think that Kate and I need to leave. We're going to move out."

"What?" he asked.

"We talked about it already," Sawyer sighed. "I mean-we just-we need our own life. We need to-our baby deserves to have a normal family."

"You can have a normal family here," Jack mumbled. "I don't want to be alone."

"Then how about instead of going out and getting drunk every night, you actually take care of your life! We're leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Jack asked. "You're not even going to give me a warning? You're just leaving?"

"Jack," Kate sighed, hearing the commotion and coming out of Audra's room. "Both of you need to keep your voices down…I just got Audra down."

"You're going to leave?" Jack asked calmly.

"Sawyer and me," she started. "We need our life. We need our space. But Jack-there's something else."

"What?" he asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"We're-," she sighed. "God, this is hard…Jack we're taking Audra with us."

"No!" he screamed loudly. "You're not taking my daughter from me! I refuse to let you take her!"

"Then how 'bout you calm the hell down and stop yelling," she responded. "You're just going to wake her up and scare her. Jack, she doesn't know you. She calls me and Sawyer momma and daddy."

"Well sorry I have a life and I have to make money," he scoffed.

"What time did you leave the hospital tonight Jack?" she snipped. "I know that you need to make money…I get that. But you also have a 6 month old daughter who needs you. She needs some semblance of a family and a life. So when you decide that your daughter is more important to you than your drinking…then let us know."

"She's more important," Jack replied with a sniffle and with tears beginning to form in his eyes. "Of course she's more important. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Kate, please don't take her from me."

"Jack," she whispered. "I'm sorry too…because I don't believe you. Tomorrow if you come home before we leave then I'll think about letting Audra stay here."

"What do you mean you'll think about it?" he asked. "She's my daughter! It's kidnapping!"

"Jack I'm sorry," she sniffled and shook her head "I promised Juliet that I would take care of Audra if you fell apart. Well I'm sorry but you fell apart."

"So you're just going to leave me when I'm at my most vulnerable state!" he yelled.

All three of them could hear the baby crying. Kate got up and began walking down the hall. Jack chased after her and grabbed her by the arm, followed quickly by Sawyer who shoved Jack away from Kate.

"You really don't want to touch her again," Sawyer said angerly. "Go Kate…take care of the baby. I'll talk to Jack."

She looked like she might be ready to cry. Her lip quivered slightly and she made her way into Audra's room. When she saw Audra reaching up for her, and calling her mommy, she started crying softly too. She wished that Juliet was here. If she was then she and Sawyer could leave and start their own life. It wasn't like she wanted to be out of Jack's life forever…she just felt the need to be with Sawyer by herself. She also almost felt like she and Sawyer were still mooching off of Jack, even though they did pay rent. She picked up Audra and held her in her arms. She sat down in the rocking chair and rocked slowly. She shushed Audra gently and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. Audra was a spitting image of her mother, aside from the deep brown eyes that she inherited from her father.

"Aud," Kate whispered. "It's ok."

"Mama!" she sobbed. The only two words that Audra could say were mama and daddy. Kate could hear Sawyer and Jack talking and wished, if only for Audra's sake that they would keep it down.

"Jack," Sawyer said threateningly. "You do not put your hands on my wife ever again."

"I didn't-" he started.

"I don't care!" Sawyer exclaimed. "She's pregnant Jack, and you just shoved her up against the wall."

"I didn't mean to," he sighed. "I just-she's acting like Juliet never even existed. She's taken over being Audra's mother."

"Who else is going to Jack?" he asked. "I know damn well that she misses Juliet. She and Juliet were close. They were pregnant together and somehow they became best friends out of all of it. So don't you dare think that she wanted to take over being Audra's mom."

"She told me that I would be able to live with my daughter anymore," Jack mumbled.

"You barely do now!" he exclaimed. "When was the last time you changed her diaper?"

"Screw you Sawyer," he scoffed.

"Screw you too," Sawyer shook his head and walked down the hall to where Kate was still waiting in Audra's room. When he got there Kate was sitting in the rocking chair with her finger in Audra's mouth.

"She's cutting a tooth," Kate whispered.

"Ouch," he sighed kneeling next to Kate. "Do you gotta use that word?"

"Ok," Kate chuckled. "She's teething, and a new tooth is hurting her mouth. I wish I had paid closer attention to those baby books."

"Well we still got em," he replied. He stood up and went to the tiny bookshelf in Audra's room, which was filled with the books that he and Kate had bought. There were a few books that Juliet and Jack had bought too, but they hadn't prepared as much as Kate and Sawyer. As Kate and Sawyer tried to figure out what would be the best remedy neither of them noticed that Audra had gone to sleep. When they finally noticed it Kate smiled at Sawyer and shook her head.

"Well," she sighed. "It's kinda like Audra is our practice kid. At least when this one is born we'll be prepared."

"Well I like that you said 'when the baby is born'," he said softly. "Kate…Audra isn't just a practice kid. You're falling in love with her. You don't want to leave her here alone with Jack, because you feel like her mom already. It's only been 6 months of taking care of her and she's ours."

"I don't want to leave her with Jack because he's still unpredictable," she whispered.

"Well maybe if he was forced to take care of her," Sawyer started. "I mean I know it's tough, and I know that you want to keep her safe, like you promised Juliet that you would…but maybe if he was forced to come home at night…he would."

"Who's going to take care of Audra during the day Sawyer?" she asked. "And don't say daycare. I know that Jack can afford the best daycare school in the entire world, but I don't want her to be raised by daycare workers. She deserves a real family."

"Well we could offer to take her during the day, but what's stopping Jack from staying out all night?" Sawyer asked.

"That's why I want to take her," she answered. "If Jack get's everything together…then he can take her back."

"You're not going to want him to Sweetheart," he stated. "I know you. The more time you spend with Audra…you won't want to give her up."

"Not to a drunk Jack, no," she answered matter-of-factly. "But I mean…he is her father. If he stopped getting drunk and actually took care of her I would be happy. She deserves to have her real father-I mean not that you're not great-I didn't-"

"I get it Freckles," he said with a soft chuckle. "Y'know…maybe we shouldn't leave just yet. Now that we've told Jack-I mean why not give him a week? And if he doesn't turn around in a week…we're gone."

"Ok," she nodded. "One week."

**1 Week Later**

"Sawyer come on!" Kate exclaimed. "We gotta get going."

"Just a sec," he answered finishing the letter that he and Kate were leaving to Jack. Sawyer came out of the house and saw the picture perfect image of Kate standing by the car, holding the baby and waiting for him. Audra was pulling on Kate's earring and Kate was gently trying to take it away from her. Sawyer walked toward her and put his mouth up against her ear.

"You look so hot holding a baby Freckles," he whispered. She let out a soft chuckle and quickly kissed his lips. They got into the car and began to drive. It was only a 10 minute drive to their new place, but it seemed like an eternity. Kate felt guilty for taking Audra, but she would have felt even more guilty for leaving Audra with Jack.

Jack got home at 10:00 to an empty house. They had been threatening for one week that they were going to leave, but he never actually thought it was going to happen. He immediately saw the note that Sawyer and Kate had left on the kitchen table.

_Dear Jack,_

_Your daughter is safe. Kate loves her like she's her own daughter, and she promised Juliet she'd take care of her. Do you remember your promise to Juliet…because you promised her too. We're holding up our end of the promise. I hope you come collect your daughter tonight. The new address is 4555 Pine Lane, apartment 9. Please come and get your daughter. She needs her daddy, and we don't want to lose our best friend._

_  
James_

Jack looked up at the ceiling and crumpled the letter in his hand. He decided that he would go to the apartment just to see where they were. He would go get Audra another day. She was probably sleeping right now anyway. He drove the 10 minutes to Kate and Sawyer's new apartment and parked outside. He saw through a window Kate picking up the baby. His baby. She was crying. He watched Kate's mouth move in the motion of a shush. Sawyer walked into the room and put his hand on Kate's lower back. They looked so natural…Jack had never felt like he was much of a natural, even with his own kid. That's part of the reason why he let Kate do all the work. He watched Sawyer go across the room to a telephone. He dialed the phone and without expecting it Jack's cell phone rang. He jumped and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Jack," Sawyer mumbled. "Have you been home yet?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Are you ready to come get your daughter yet?" he asked.

"Sick of her already?" Jack snapped.

"Jack, if we were sick of her it wouldn't have lasted 6 months," Sawyer scoffed. "Y'know I knew this was a mistake. I just thought maybe-"

"I'm sitting outside," Jack sighed. "Can I come in and see her?"

"Have you been drinking?" he asked.

"No," Jack answered.

"Fine," Sawyer replied. "I'll buzz you in."

Moments later Jack was sitting in Kate and Sawyer's new living room. It looked like they had been living there for months. There wasn't even a single box that needed unpacking. Jack looked around the room and noticed a small area in the corner where all Audra's toys were kept.

"Well where is she?" Jack asked.

"Kate's changing her," Sawyer responded. "They'll be out in a minute."

Before Sawyer could even finish his response Kate walked out holding Audra. She sat down in a chair, and still clung to Audra.

"Mind if I hold her?" Jack asked. Kate let out a soft sigh and stood back up. She handed him the baby, and Audra immediately started crying. She was straining to reach for Sawyer. "Audra, it's daddy."

"Dada!" she exclaimed and cried for Sawyer. Sawyer shook his head and looked at Jack.

"See Jack?" he asked. "She doesn't even know you. You're her dad, and she knows-"

"I know," he mumbled. "Alright. I know. It's my own stupid fault. I just-the longer I waited…the harder it was. I mean I sometimes would go into her bedroom at night and pick her up and she'd be crying for momma or daddy. So I'd just put her back and hope one of you would hear her."

"Jack I know it sucks," Kate started. "I know it's hard. But she's your daughter. Take her home."

"What if she cries for you?" Jack asked. "I don't want her to be hurt. And if I take her home without the two of you…she's just going to cry for you all night."

"Maybe," Kate nodded. "But she'll stop crying, when she realizes that you're the one who is there to take care of her. Just take her home Jack."

"You serious?" he asked. "You're just gonna let me take her?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Take her home, and in the morning you can bring her back before you go to work."

"Thanks," he said weakly.

The next several months, worked out like that. Kate would take Audra all day, and then when Jack would come home at night, sometimes 8 or sometimes a little later, he would take Audra home and take care of her at night. The first few nights were rough for everyone involved. They were rough for Kate because she did feel like Audra was partially hers, and even though she knew she'd see her first thing in the morning, being apart from her at night, when Audra still wasn't sleeping through the night was difficult. She wondered if Jack could figure out what to do…she knew eventually he would, and she made sure that she gave him all her favorite stuffed animals and told him her favorite songs. It was rough for Audra for the same reason…she missed Kate and Sawyer, and it was true that she really had no idea who Jack.

Kate was 7 and a half months pregnant. It was the furthest along she had ever made it. She refused to do anything that would jinx it. She never talked about it. When the baby would move or kick she never made a big deal out of it. One time Sawyer was resting his hand on her stomach and the baby moved. He looked at Kate in awe and she shook her head and told him that it was just her stomach growling. He knew that she was lying, but he got up and got her a bowl of cereal which seemed to be the only thing that she ever wanted to eat.

Sawyer and Kate were sitting on the couch together. Jack had just left from picking up Audra. Sawyer was running his fingers lightly over Kate's stomach. She let out a soft moan, and turned toward him. Without speaking she pressed her lips against his. He opened his mouth and invited her in. She shifted uncomfortably and he laid back, and tried to make her more comfortable. They had been kissing for 5 full minutes and there was a knock at the door. Sawyer got up and motioned to Kate to stay where she was. When he opened the door Jack was standing there with Audra in his arms.

"We gotta go to the hospital," he said quietly.

"Why?" Sawyer asked, slightly alarmed.

"I know I just left, but on the drive home…she's showing the classic signs Sawyer. I think she's going into labor," he whispered.

"What?" Sawyer whispered back. "It's a month and a half early. Kate'll flip."

"That's why we're going to pretend like it's Audra who needs to go to the hospital," Jack answered.

"What's that gonna do?" Sawyer asked. "As soon as we get there she's gonna know something's-"

"Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed. He turned back and Kate was starting to stand up. "We have to go to the hospital. My water just broke."

**A/N: Ok…so I know this jumped ahead a lot, but I just kinda wanted to get to the point. It was my plan all along to have Kate and Sawyer become almost parents to Jack and Juliet's baby…but then eventually have Jack get it together. I hope that you all still enjoy it. Please review!**


	26. Chapter 26

Kate was being wheeled into the delivery room. Sawyer was following and holding on to her hand. The doctors around them were all speaking at once and both Sawyer and Kate had no idea what was going on. Kate kept saying quietly that it was too early. When they got into the delivery room Sawyer knelt next to Kate's head and put his hand against her cheek.

"I don't want to do this," she whispered. He let out a soft chuckle and kissed her on the forehead.

"I don't think you really have a choice Freckles," he said quietly. "It'll be ok. Audra was early too."

"Yeah," she sniffled. "But-"

"Kate," the doctor interrupted. "You need to push ok?"

"No," she shook her head. "I don't-"

"We're going to take good care of your baby and you, but you need to push , or it's going to be worse."

"Ok," she nodded.

Kate was laying in the hospital bed. Sawyer was sitting in the chair next to her. She was sleeping soundly, and Sawyer was staring at her. There was a soft knock on the door. Sawyer perked up and Jack walked through the door holding Audra. Audra smiled widely when she saw Sawyer. She whined slightly and reached out toward him. Sawyer took her from Jack and sat back down.

"How's she doing?" Jack asked quietly.

"She's alright," Sawyer answered. "She finally got to sleep. It's been a rough couple of hours."

"Come on," Jack said. "Let's go for a walk. Kate'll be ok."

"Yeah," Sawyer mumbled.

Sawyer and Jack left the room. Audra clung to Sawyer's neck and put her head on his shoulder. He smiled to himself and put his hand against the back of her head. They walked for what seemed like forever and came to a stop right outside the nursery.

"Look," Jack whispered. Sawyer looked in at the babies. Jack put his hand on Sawyer's shoulder and motioned to the nurse. The nurse wheeled a bed over to the big window and Sawyer looked at the baby. He was in an incubator and it was hard to tell what he actually looked like.

"He's damn cute ain't he?" Sawyer asked quietly.

"Yup," Jack nodded. "Luckily he doesn't look a thing like you."

"Shut up," Sawyer scoffed. "He looks exactly like me, aside from Kate's freckles. I should go get Kate. She would want to see him."

"I'll go get her. You should go in there and see him. They'll let you hold him."

Sawyer walked through the door and introduced himself to some of the other families that were in the Pre-me nursery. The nurse brought a chair over to the bed where Kate and Sawyer's baby was. Sawyer sat down without having to be told, and the nurse carefully picked the baby up and handed him to Sawyer. He was much tinier than Audra was when she was born. He looked at the blank name card attached to the bed. Kate had decided that she didn't want to name the baby until they were absolutely sure. They hadn't even talked about any baby names, so Sawyer couldn't even guess.

"Hi," Sawyer whispered. "I don't know your name yet, but you look just like me. You got a momma and a sister. Well kind of a sister. And Uncle Jack. I'll just call you munchkin until me and your mom can think of a name."

The baby started fussing, and then his fussing turned into a full blown cry. Except for his cry was so soft and weak, it almost made Sawyer sick to think about.

"Ok…guess not," he answered. "Sorry. Well, I'm sure your momma will think of the perfect name."

"Jordan," Kate said quietly. "I want to name him Jordan."

Sawyer turned around and Kate was being wheeled into the room. Jack wheeled her next to Sawyer, and she looked down at the baby. She looked up at Sawyer and kissed him on the lips softly. He ran his hand over her cheek and then looked down at the baby too.

"My turn," she stated. "Give him to me."

"Ok," he said almost defensively. "Sorry."

"I just-he's my baby," she sniffled and looked up at Sawyer. "We did it."

"I didn't do nothing," Sawyer shook his head and leaned toward her lips. He kissed her softly and handed her the baby. "It was all you Freckles. I'm sorry that you didn't get the girl you wanted."

"I already have the girl I wanted," she answered. "Whether you wanna admit it or not Audra is partially ours too."

"Hey," he stated. "Of course she is. So Jordan huh? Why Jordan?"

"I dunno," she shrugged. "I cheated. I mean…even though we weren't supposed to be thinking about names…I read that stupid baby name book, and I just really like the name Jordan."

"Alright," he nodded. "Jordan. I like it."

"Are you just saying that because you want to make me happy?" she asked. "Or do you really like it."

"Maybe a little bit of both," he admitted. "Kate, I don't care what we name him…I just care that he's here. And he's healthy. Even though he was a little early, he's fine."

"I can't believe it," she sniffled. "I can't believe that he's ok. I was so sure that he was going-"

"Shh," he said and leaned toward her. He kissed her slowly, but passionately. Kate backed away and looked down at Jordan. "He's alright Freckles. He's gonna be ok."

**5 Years Later**

Kate was walking into the elementary school with Jordan on one side and Audra on the other. Audra was going into first grade, and Jordan would be in kindergarten. Jordan was pulling on her arm for her to pick him up. Finally she did and carried him the rest of the way into the building. When they walked into a brightly lit class room Kate saw a couple of mom's that hadn't been able to leave the classroom yet. Some because they didn't want to, but some because their children were clinging on to them and refused to let them leave.

"Mrs. Ford?" a voice said behind them. Kate turned around and saw Jordan's teacher, Mrs. Burns.

"Hi Mrs. Burns," Kate greeted her. "Jordan do you remember Mrs. Burns."

He nodded and put his face against Kate's shoulder.

"Hi Mrs. Burns!" Audra exclaimed. "I get to go to Mrs. Thomas's class!"

Audra had Mrs. Burns the previous year, and was very out going. Kate had no idea where Audra got all her spunk from because Sawyer, Jack and herself were pretty shy most of the time. But not Audra. She ran from Mrs. Burns and started playing with some of the other kids. Kate tried to set Jordan down, but he whined loudly.

"No mommy," he said.

"It's ok Jordan," Kate smiled and set him down. "It's only for a couple hours. And I'll be back before you know it."

"Hate you!" he said and ran away from her. Kate sighed deeply. It was a phrase that she was used to since Jordan was 3. Every time Jordan didn't get his own way he would yell 'I hate you.' Even though he said it all the time, it still never got easier to hear it.

"He didn't mean it," Mrs. Burns stated with a smile.

"Oh I know," she nodded. "He's just-he's my little baby, and he's going to kindergarten."

"He'll be fine," Mrs. Burns replied. Kate looked over and watched as Audra tried to get Jordan to play with some of the other kids.

"Come on Audra," Kate said holding out her hand.

"Ok!" she exclaimed. "Bye bye Jordan. See you tonight!"

Kate and Sawyer living without Jack didn't last even a year. They all moved back in together and became a happy family again. Kate waved to Audra as she ran into the class room and over to a couple of her friends.

Kate came back to the school 3 hours later and went into the kindergarten classroom. Jordan was on the floor playing with some of the other children. Kate walked over to him and kissed him on the top of the head.

"Hi my darling," she whispered. "Are you ready to go home and see daddy?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "Mommy I wanna stay!"

"Well I'm glad you had a good day," she chuckled. "But we gotta go home. I'm gonna take you home and make some lunch."

"No!" he exclaimed again.

"You can come back tomorrow, I promise," she said. She looked up at the teacher and she was smiling at the scene, and then looked over at one of the tables. Kate followed her gaze and saw that Audra was sitting at the table. She stood up and walked over to Audra. Audra saw Kate and ran toward her, bursting into tears. Kate took a deep breath and sat down bringing Audra with her.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"Kids were mean to me," Audra cried.

"Why?" she questioned. "What did they say?"

"I said I had a mommy and two daddies and they made fun of me!" she exclaimed. "I said we were one big happy family, and they told me it was bad."

"Well," Kate started. "You just remember this Audra…I love you so so much. And so do both of your daddies. Any time anyone makes fun of you…you just remember that. We all love you."

"I love you too mommy," Audra whispered.

**THE END**

**A/N: Anyway that's the end. I hope you all liked it. Please review!**


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